Ilansky District, Krasnoyarsk Krai I get up early, come here at 8 or 9, I generally wake up early. Cause can’t stay in bed. I’m OK here. own farm etc Say “cheese”! Hey piggies, are you alright? Dashka, come here! Dasha! Come on! Come here Are you alright? Not peeved by anybody? And this is the Chief Security Officer. Just tormenting neighbours’ horses and cows. The porrige pants for some air. Barley, wheat, oats. And some potatos as well. That one’s okay, and that one’s too hot. The main thing here is to not stand in front of the beehive entrance where they fly. Though, they’re too busy with their work for us. Mom, hey! Whatcha doing? Hello, my darling! Feeding the household, You made some new feeder for them? Broiler chicks! Like you, right back at you! Yeah! I’ve always been chubby, from childhood on. How was I? To my first year in school I came weighing 40 kilos, to second, 50, to third, 60, and then, by the end of it, 170. Long time not doing this, a year with no lifting. Ah, my medals. This, apparently, is Krasnoyarsk Krai Cup of Powerlifting in 2018, first prize. This is for slaps. his one is also for powerlifting. “Asia Center” And this one is for the fourth championship of khinkali-eating in Krasnoyarsk. “Pelmen’ ” was how I named myself. Blurted it out once, and that’s it. They were calling out at one contest: “What do you do? A guy said he was a woodworker, and I said I eat pelmeni, wanted to joke. And here I go, I joked. And they say: Hey, you then gonna be called Pelmen A blurt of mine, that’s it. Vas’ka was born here, And he’ll stay here, I’m not gonna let him go anywhere.- Oh, I’ll have to somehow bluff – not tell that it’s exactly the slaps – that it’s just some shooting, tell her there gonna be some shooting to record a video… Cause she’s not gonna let me go for the slaps. Cause “what if they gonna beat me? Well, on my roadmap is maintaining the farm, working and doing things better, expanding the farmstead. Well, there is some talk of Moscow somewhow, dunno. There, in Moscow, all the big dudes will gather and I will cop it, and that will be it. Well, if I cop it, I’ll cop it. What am I gonna do? This wogy, dead-wood, greedy douchebag thinks he’s settl’d his ass onto the throne, thinks he’s the champion, the king of YouTube, but sure enough he’s just a grotty fibster and buffoon! It’s not Versus Battle here, with its host, Restaurateur It’s Faces of Stone, it’s a battle for hype! Well, let’s applaud, folks! Well, dear friends. Hello, one and all! My name is Edward Bil. This is Kirill Sarychev, this is Amiran Sardarov. Today we are inaugurating a new show, “Faces of Stone”. I wanna say, my whole life I’ve been getting heat just because, without any recompense, not for money. Today there is a chance to turn a coin for any of you. And who’s ready now, right now, for the sum of five grand, to join battle with an insane monster?.. Hush, hush! You’re taking the wrong direction. Wait. No. Hush, hush, hush. calm down, bro. Enough. Now, Kirill, tell us what’s that we gonna see. All right, jokes aside, we’re about to see the ultimate knockdown-dragout battle, because if in MMA fight, if in other combat sports you can dodge blows, then here it’s not an option: either you get knocked-out straight away, or, I need hardly say, what the the end of it’s gonna be. Where does this sport come from? It bursted into YouTube from some Mexican hangouts where the Mexes also stood one in front of another over the table, then lashing and decking each other. Hot-blooded studs. A year ago, this, for the first time, took place in Russia, got incredible kudos from all the media, and especially… And hype! Yeah! …and especially from the foreign media. And now we’re here to see it firsthand. Main rule: don’t turn your face. That’s, if you’re here, if you volunteered, if you wanna take part and try get 100K Rubles, you oughta bravely stand and look into the face of, I wouldn’t say, death… Close! Close, yep! You strike the blow with this part of your palm. If you dodge, then two more times you will… get all the heat. We are in for fair play: here is the money upfront… In one thousand bills, so it feels there’s more. Hundred grand and smelling salt. Hundred grand and smelling salt, yeah. I think it’s time to start. Good day to you! I’ve met all of your opponents and you know what I’ll tell you? Shell of a person, that’s what they are. Just fucking pfft! Have you ever been knocked out? Nope. Not even once? But maybe there was a moment when you kinda staggered after a blow? NOPE?! No more questions Well, dear friends, who’s ready to battle with “Pelmen”? Not that well-done, by the way. For a hundred – thousand – Rubles! Claws up. Strong stud, Kiril Teryoshin! Come here! Let’s applaud! Kiril, are the rules clear to you? You can’t call your mother for help, you can’t call anybody… Fuck you, don’t talk to me like that. You understand? Don’t speak to me like this. Kiril, if you graced our show with your presence, please be kind to take the blows. Moral ones, psychological. Heads. Tales. Tales. First strike by Kiril. Slapped, slapped to the ear. To the ear he slapped. Is it okay? Against the rules! Are you alive? Take a seat. Well don. Take your cap. Everyone who wished him death, the haters of Kiryusha Teryoshin, well, this wish almost got fulfilled. Yeah! 50%. Now we go on. This is Sergey. My name is Edward Bil, I manage the project “Bang the Fuckface”. I manage the project “Bang the Fuckface”. Today you appear… “Faces of Stone”! Ah, yea, “Faces of Stone”. “Faces of Stone”. And today you graced us with coming here and willing to measure strength against a very serious guy. His name is “Pelmen”. Do you know him? Do you know each other? Yes, we know each other. Have you seen how he knocks out people? Are you ready to get out there and pay the price for all you said at his expense? Yes, correct. If you win, you win a hundred grand Rubles. I know that. Eh, you knew that? And if you lose, you’ll owe one hundred thousand Rubles. This was not agreed. Amiran!… Good luck! Good luck! Come on. You have a very strong handshake. I hope you practiced your blow. Left-hander? Right-hander? Right-hander and devil-worshipper Seryoga, have you ever done this before? Nope. Never did? And why did you decide to come? Just because… to get some hype, I am myself a blogger, why not try? But then, it’s honest. And win one hundred grand Rubles as well? Correct. Heads? Tails? Heads. Tails. Who strikes, he? Folks, let’s support, support the rookie. To the ear. He’s striken you to the ear. It wasn’t with fingers, not with fingers. Let’s applaud! How are you? Perfect. Come on, it’s good! We can stop it. Won’t you get concussion? Can we, maybe, stop it? I never give up, I am a sportsman. Look what you did to him: a hematoma. It means, you hit in the wrong place. Hitting right here… Are you alright? Sure I am. But you can’t hear already. Aim! Don’t transgress. Do no harm. One more transgression, and you should disqualify him. Let’s applaud to “Pelmen”! Good blow! Yea, now that was nailed good. Are you bleeding? Where’s the rip? Canny move: just bailing out! Pelmen’ has won, fine fellow! Pelmen’ has won! You say what?! I didn’t bail out. What are you saying? I’m just kidding! Come on, wait, calm down, dude, he’s joking, and let the medics have a look at you. Put him into the cage! Into the cage against Novosyolov! Mucous membrane, it bursted from the blow. It hit against teeth from within… Pelmen’! Pelmen’! Pelmen’! Is it okay? Did he miss? I was striking down here, to the face. Nay, that was clean-cut. The strike was a bit dirty, the ear got some from two fingers, but here there’s no… but here I do not see an extreme transgression. …because it is hard to aim at the cheek accurately. Well, he’s strong, forceful, this dude in black. Well done, guys!.. Hey, guys, take it. Count up. Fifty to each. Let’s applaud! And right away, right away bring some to me for advertising you! So, what do you think? Say… share your impressions. Those people around, I, for one, don’t like when, eh… the people are crowding around me. We alredy concluded we’ll take in fewer people. What do you think: in some instances we, probably, were very subjective, true? Well, there, as for the rules, I guess, I was both incorrectly delivering blows and was delivered them incorrectly. Are you prepared to continue? Me, yes. I need a combine harvester. Kiryukha, that’s rough ground, much rougher than I had imagined. We are doing it for the first time, we want to do it like a kind of sports, and I guess this should be worked upon in some way and some clear-cut and strict rules should be established. First: let’s take in fewer people to the audience. Second: we’ll spell out the rules clearly, we’ll discuss it with you in more detail, so that all of it takes place according to exact regulations. Yeah, here, there were many transgressions, that’s why a frame of fouls should certainly be introduced And I suggest, as we’re filming on slow-mo, rewatch everything in slow-mo right away. Perhaps, we’ve been in some regards, let’s say… Tendentious. But just understand this: we didn’t watch slow-mo straight away and we’re doing it for the first time we are shooken up ourselves. I, for one, am totally shocked with what’s happening here. Be easy on us: everybody’s fine, everything’s okay. I was honestly cheering up for “Pelmen”. He wants to buy a combine harvester, which costs like 5-6 millions, so, I hope, he’ll amass enough money for it. And Kiryukha and me will think all through o that it’s more orderly and clean. Click the like button, eave your comments, support this story, we’ll be going on with it. And root for “Pelmen”! Vasya is a hotshot lad. Super-Pelmen Thanks, man.