Articles, Blog

🖐 5 Silly Things Said to Me About My Autism ➰ (4/11/18)

🖐 5 Silly Things Said to Me About My Autism ➰ (4/11/18)

In honor of Autism Awareness Month I wanted to go over five silly things that people have said to me about my autism Good Wednesday morning everyone soooo I slept well I’m feeling good from my pain management procedure yesterday, and the weather outside is gorgeous… it’s a little bit chilly and windy so I wanted to take advantage of all of these things and Harlow and I went on a decently long stroll it was great and now I want to talk to you all about something because April is autism awareness month. And I am autistic so my autism actually affects me very mildly I was diagnosed in adulthood by a neuropsychologist at Mayo Clinic after hours and hours of extensive neuropsych testing and then to really confirm the diagnosis I also had to continue with follow-ups with a neuropsychologist locally Autism is a spectrum disorder so it can definitely affect everybody differently the main ways it impacts me are social cues and the need to be in control. I also have a sensory processing disorder due to my autism where it’s just difficult for my brain to process the five senses sometimes and it can be a little overwhelming so in honour of Autism Awareness Month I wanted to go over five Silly, that’s a good word for it, five silly things that people have said to me about my autism: One: “you don’t look autistic” that one gets me because there’s no physical characteristics for autism Two: “autism is only for boys” I don’t know why this is a thing but some people have a preconceived notion that girls can’t have autism, that’s just not true autism can affect boys and girls alike Three: “don’t you outgrow that?” Actually children with autism grow up to be adults with autism and some people aren’t even diagnosed until adulthood sometimes that’s because of stigmas such as girls don’t have autism that diagnosis get overlooked and for me personally, my diagnosing doctor believes I wasn’t diagnosed in childhood because I always did well in school grade wise although has social difficulties, so we never looked into a developmental disorder also again, my autism is very mild. Four : “I’m so sorry” I do not see my autism as a chronic illness or a hindrance, there are some parts of my autism that need guidance, but other parts that give me strengths it’s just a part of who I am and And five: “you don’t have autism” this one is perplexing because the only qualified personnel to tell me whether or not I do have autism are my medical professionals, I will admit that it’s very difficult to see my autism come out on the vlogs because again it affects me mildly and it really only shows itself in the intricate interactions between myself and my loved ones or new people I’m meeting and I’m not really vlogging during those moments when I’m just talking with y’all to the camera you won’t really see my autism also when I’m having a moment in which my autism has caused me a lot of stress I can’t necessarily pick up the camera and walk you all through that process with me because I need to focus on myself but it’s just one of the things I have to deal with and I’ve come to learn I have nothing to prove to anyone I will say that when I got my diagnosis it made a lot of sense to my entire family and my close loved ones and it helped strengthen my relationships because there was a lot of strain on some of my relationships and the autism diagnosis help them understand me as a person more and to better qualify that for y’all I was gonna bring in my best friend to let her give you her perspective on it. Voila, here she is, my bestie So, Janice. We’ve known each other since high school and tell the people, Janice, when I got my autism diagnosis did it make sense well we do have a lot of jokes saying that I was mean to her when we first met. Jaquie : She didn’t like me Janice: There you go she thinks I didn’t like her. You know that actually is true I didn’t like her, but it’s because of her autism I found her very blunt very rude The thing is I can’t… It’s hard for me to know how my words are gonna affect others And it’s very hard for me to know what other people are feeling Emotion wise and if I’ve made someone upset I cannot tell whatsoever people need to be direct with me. Eventually she learned that… Janice : she needed help. Jaquie : I’m just I’m not intentionally Janice : Out to get people. Jaquie : No, I just… Jaquie : It’s kind of hard to explain it unless you know me in person. Janice : And I did, back in high school I did do a lot of mean things, and then I noticed she wasn’t… Jaquie : She was mean in highschool. Janice : yeah I was really mean. And I noticed she wasn’t a very catty person like most girls And she wasn’t trying she wasn’t out to get me. She wasn’t mean, and she wasn’t that type of girl sounds like Maybe she is kind-hearted Oh my goodness she’s a sweet person those people do exist in the real world. Oh my goodness so This friendship happened eventually. Jaquie : it did and so We didn’t answer the question did my autism diagnosis make sense to you ? Janice : It did yeah, it made a lot of sense to the people who were close to me and Do you think my autism affects me a lot ? Janice : Yeah See I found it weird that she says yes Cause I personally think no I have seen many people she says something to people and I of course anybody But a lot of people tell me that I can sense body language very well. (Jaquie : I cannot) If somebody is uncomfortable I’m like stop Don’t do this, okay? This is what’s going on and she has offended many people her words come across bad or she offends or she does say something and they you know laugh about it and I just told her hey No, not the way to go stop it Janice : Inappropriate. Jaquie : It’s just social norms, and knowing what is a social norm is difficult for me But what is normal anyways you know the people who love and care about me It’s not about me Conforming to what’s normal. It’s about people who love me like I guess there’s an expression I was just telling you hey, this is not the right way to go This is not the right way to say it. Jaquie : but at the same time they also need to work to understand This is just part of who I am so it’s like both of us working to meet in the middle. Oh that was it meet In the middle, (Janice : yeah), there we go. So that is a little bit about my autism like I said It’s not a chronic illness for me. There’s some parts That could use some guidance and some parts that give me strength and it’s just a part of who I am Well out of the house going to one of my favorite places target, we’re going on a target run with Paul Janiece was going to join us by her mom’s doing her hair, so priorities just Paul, Harlow, and I Look what I just got for Judd ! I’mma surprise him with this, he’s been wanting this right Paul ? Paul : Oh, yeah, definitely Paul : it’s the most amazing game ever. Jaquie : They have this game locked up, so we have to buy it in the electronic section so, got it, he’s gonna love it. Paul : Still have more stuff here, so… Jaquie : That’s for Janice. She’s using the same organization stuff for her IV supplies It’s awesome And I have to say the smartdrive meets maneuvering carpet a lot easier Off we go to find more stuff here at target Paul : All right hippo, that’s right. Jaquie : oh, it just stopped I had disengaged, I’m not an expert driver Paul is exactly like Judd. (Paul : Yep). He was like we’re in the Lego section slow down. Oh where the Star Wars toys So even though I’m here with all my husband it still feels like I’m here with my husband Y’all remember this jacket ? I got at target the other day specifically for this trip Well my mom very nicely washed it for me, but unfortunately when she washed it It got covered in bleach stains she didn’t mean to but it happened so I was coming to get another one and they don’t have my size And, I had fallen in love with this jacket. I grew to love the color and everything so I’m jacketless for the trip Paul : Harlow is even sad I don’t know, I kinda need to find a jacket They don’t have my size here Paul : What up, time to go hunting. Jaquie : I wonder if we can see if there’s a target in the area that has it in my size. Paul : Yeah, grab the jacket we’ll go ask All right, we had someone check on it for us And there is one small at a store the thing is this jacket is discontinued, so now I’m like Stressed I really really want to be able to get it again, but this store is pretty far away right Paul ? Paul : Kind of, well forty minutes ? It’s far. First of all he’s gonna actually confirm, they have it in my size and the right color Don’t slap me with the sweater, and then we’re kind of gonna decide what to do from there. Really Paul ? You are just like Judd, oh my gosh. (Paul : that’s why we go along so well) Jaquie : Oh my gosh, Paul literally was just snooping around. Y’all, he found an extra small here You’re amazing. I’m literally so happy right now, and that employee went like looking around and stuff. Paul : He did like three stores. Hey, by the way… Jaquie : The one that was 40 minutes away, they did not have any smalls or extra smalls. Paul : Only medium Jaquie : So he’s like I’m gonna go look at one more thing. He’s gonna come back We’re gonna show him this and we’re all gonna be so happy You’re amazing Paul. Paul : You’re welcome. What do you think Harlow, did Paul save the day? He totally did it was good, all right. Paul : you’re welcome. Like every time I wear this jacket now. He’s gonna be like hey, hey, Jaquie. Who found that for you ? Paul : You remember, right? He was like so Paul : I want it back He told me like hey, so what do I get for finding that for him like you saved yourself a drive forty minutes away i guess I’ll be eternally grateful Paul. Paul : Mhm, of course you will. Paul : Two days later she’s gonna completely forget. Jaquie : I won’t, I’m thankful I’m crashing so, good to be on the way home. Her hair’s gorgeous Gor-geous, gor-geous, I’m not doing that right Janice : You know look I still take the compliment. Jaquie : very nice, anyways We are Getting ready for bed Janice has been packing for the trip. I wanted to end this vlog. With a few more things about autism I just want to say that autism is very different for everyone, and I am not a representation of everyone with autism just myself and There are some things about being autistic that I like like it makes me very logical and very Organized it makes me very tenacious and determine which some people can also say is stubbornness It’s another reason What did you just say about about it? That’s good? Oh! Uh that if someone is being mean to her she may not notice and it can go over her head so that’s great. Jaquie : yeah And we were gonna give some examples about when it’s more apparent for example If I go over to someone’s house even if it’s for the first time I have this habit of you know if I feel like I want a snack or a drink or something I’ll just go right into their fridge and start going through all of their stuff without even asking them, and I’ve learned okay It’s more appropriate to say hey may have something to eat or drink That is something I have to learn just things like that that most people would know is common I do not. Do you have anything you can think of ? Janice : I told her definitely gotta be careful with that even in a Hispanic home Another one I gave for her and that some of my close family and friends are like we saw that autistic for Jaquie I posted I posted a scene in Orion’s story, and I was like say hi Jaquie And she was just like she just repeated me Hi Jaquie, and I was like no Yeah I take things very literally like Janice was packing and she’s holding up a slipper. She said I’m just gonna take this one I’m like why would you only take one she goes no I mean this one pair like oh? (Janice : yes) So you know my autism, I honestly don’t see it as a problem It’s just part of who I am but it really doesn’t come out on the vlog as much you have to be with me in person like the intimate Interactions between my loved ones and people around me um But that’s a little info about my autism, and it’s kind of late, so we are going to bed Just getting the last-minute things ready for our trip, which we’re excited for and with that We’ll say good night, and thanks for joining us on our adventure. Her wave, I’ll do it too. This is the Jaquie wave for her

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

63 thoughts on “🖐 5 Silly Things Said to Me About My Autism ➰ (4/11/18)

  1. For Judd, in case he needs toys…and an excuse to go to Tarjhaay 💚😂😎

  2. Everyone is different and it makes them who they are. Autism just makes you who you are and you are a beautiful person. I appreciate you sharing your journey. I have several invisible disabilities and I always get, your not disabled when I park in a handicapped spot. Even doctors took 30 years to diagnose my health issues! 30 years till I had a car accident and then it all made sense! Kinda like your autism. I do not look the norm for someone with my diseases. I do not have the facial or neck deformities on the outside so I was never diagnosed. Even now doctors say you do not look like you have Klippel-Feil or Spina Bifida Occulta.

  3. My niece was diagnosed with Aspergers when she was 16. My son is almost 11 and his school now wants to test for autism. I think of he's on the spectrum then it would be Aspergers. Is that the form of autism you have or just autism?

  4. The more I watch this, the more I wonder if I might need a diagnosis. Am I just insensitive? Like I'm really bad at knowing when I've offended someone or when something I say will offend someone. I've got a pretty short temper that's hard to control too….

  5. The only thing I can think of that is an immediately observable symptom of autism in a lot of people is a lack of facial movement when speaking. I notice that a lot in your vlogs, but I also struggle with moving my face when I talk and I'm TERRIBLE at taking pictures because unless I'm laughing reflexively I physically can't make my face move the way I want.

  6. do you know if you can become autistic from a bad head injury ? i fell and got a head injury and have been told that my personality changed … if you have a chance i would like to talk to you more at length privately

  7. I've been watching your channel for a few weeks now and this is probably one of my favourite vlogs. All the situations you describe seem so accurate, and I can really understand what you say about not understanding social norms! I'm not diagnosed with anything, but people have told me I'm autistic quite a few times and after sneaking into some book samples I had to agree (by the way, some authors I'd recommend are Temple Grandin, Tony Atwood and, most of all, Liane Holliday Willey!).

    The way I'd try to describe this is like if you're living in a foreign country where another language is spoken. You learned the vocabulary, the grammar, all that stuff, and you can express yourself well. However – as soon as it comes to idioms, slang, abbreviations, anything typically local, you're screwed. You translate them word by word, but can't see any sense. You look them up, but your dictionary doesn't help.
    If you're lucky, you might have some good friends along the way who will help you and explain what things stand for (that's what my online friends did when I struggled with their English, especially informal phrases or idioms that we never learned in class). But it's very hard to find someone to explain the world you live in to you, because everyone will expect you to navigate it without any problems. As you said – you don't look autistic, you might not even act autistic. People will wonder why you act so strangely when in fact they just don't know the language (=social norms, sarcasm, whatever you struggle with) is foreign to you and you had to learn it bit by bit. While everyone else runs around, you have to test the ground all the time and explore the world in baby steps.

  8. It seems most females are diagnosed later in life I have asperger's and I relate to some of these silly things you've heard ..

  9. When autism first became popular, it was often thought that boys were affected more than girls and more seriously. It was thought that girls suffered from aspergers more. So I feel it makes sense when ppl say only boys got it because that was initial thoughts.

  10. Is it more like aspergers what you have?? You def are very different from the others with autism that I know…..much much milder.

  11. Jaq next time someone says you dont look autistic, start drooling and screw up your eyes and say there…is that better? Or say well..You don't look human but I was trying to be respectful by now stating the obvious. hehe

  12. Hi Jacqui. I'm Autistic too, diagnosed in adulthood (and have multiple rare and chronic diseases). I know you're a keen youtuber and into advocacy, so if you haven't yet checked out Amethyst Schaber's youtubue channel (with her Ask an Autistic series), I highly recommend it.

  13. My 29 year old is on the spectrum. He is high functioning and crazy smart and funny. He misses social cues. He has learned to ask how he is making someone feel by how he is acting. One thing I think people don’t understand about people with autism is that they are very sensitive, and caring, once they get the cues. It totally comes out on your vlogs Jackie. Maybe I notice because I’m a mom of a son that is very similar to you. I am also on the spectrum, as is my dad.

  14. Just the 1st few points u mentioned I have some comments. Autism is more commonly found in boys rather than girls so that comment is more a lack of knowledge. And second most people don’t know that autism is a spectrum disorder so the you don’t look Autistic comment comes from people thinking that there is only the sever autism. Which is more visibly seen.

  15. I remember the “Hi Jaquie” part 😂 I sometimes do that as a joke so I thought you were just kidding lol. I went to school with a guy with autism, and he was one of the funniest people I ever met. People constantly made fun of him and tricked him into doing things and he never saw an issue with it. Something I’ll never understand is how cruel some people can be to such a sweet person. Happy Autism Awareness Month! 💖💖

  16. People saying “you don’t look autistic” reminds me of when people say to Drew Lynch (a comedian) “you stutter a lot” and he just replies “w-w-w-what?”. Like…thank you for pointing it out, I think he already knew lol

  17. I actually do think I have autism. I have never been tested but just know that I have some of the things you talked about!! I have trouble with social cues, I have a TON of social anxiety, and I also have weird OCD things regarding the need to be in control!!

  18. I remember they told me i was autistic at a young age and i was so happy i cried because for so long they told us nothing was wrong and that i was just a bad kid but you have no idea what it was like when i didnt have this channel to turn to when i was sad now i have a safe haven where i can talk about it… i have high functioning autism so i can do everything like a normal person but i see things differently than others if that makes sense sorry im rambling now i hope you have a wonderful day Jaquie

  19. jackie i dont let people see my disorder that i have cuz they make fun of me and i dont like it. when i get excited my husband has to tell me to calm down

  20. It amazes me how close minded people are when it comes to developmental disorders. They are in the Brain, nobody can see them. Nobody is going to Look like they have autism or dyslexia or adhd etc. They also never get the whole spectrum of symptoms and that because of how complex brains Are, nobody is going to be 100% the same in how the show symptoms. I've had somebody tell me I Can't have ADHD because I'm not hyperactive, than go on a rant about over medicating kids. Even though I was also diagnosed as an adult. eyeroll here
    I'm glad you got your diagnosis and it's helped you understand yourself and your relationship with others! Hopefully people keep learning about autism and understanding it better.

  21. There was a vlog I think it was with judd's family I noticed the autism because as you say they don't usually come out in videos. I forgot what exactly but you had difficulty telling someones reaction to something and Judd helped you understand. That was the only moment. That being said your still inspiring as a person and we as society at large should learn to love each other despite our differences.

  22. This is the first video from your channel I have seen. I have a 3yo girl with ASD and SPD. I can't tell you how amazing this video was for me. You don't often see ASD adults "in the wild" and this video was so reassuring to me that yes, her life will be "normal" although a bit different from her NT peers. So thanks for making this momma cry in the best way possible.

  23. Excellent information! I'm learning about autism. Are all sensory processing disorders a part of autism? For example, I have SPD, so does that mean I have autism? Obviously, you're not a doctor but you are highly informed about your medical issues, many of which I share. Just curious about your opinion, if you're willing. As I said, I'm trying to learn more about autism in adults. I find it I teresting. Thanks for sharing! 💗

  24. I didn’t now you were autistic as well. I have autism with an intellectual impairment. Which means anything social. Also I have big issues with anything sensory and I have high anxiety with a lot of things. I was only diagnosed when I was in grade 8 I was 13 or 14. Mine was overlooked the same kinda way your was. I always did good grade wise but I struggled social wise, I sucked at it. I only found out when I had to get a assessment done for a Independent education plan.

  25. I am autistic. Just got diagnosed at 21. I am fine with it, but it's hard when you reveal something that personal about yourself and then the person you told that to shuts you down. Saying "You do not have autism". It hurts. But I am proud of who I am. I also have sensory processing disorder. 💙

  26. I hear all of those comments about my kids. Both are on the spectrum. It gets annoying but I usually have a good come back.

  27. I think people are just using the wrong wording when they say "You don't look autistic." because you're right there isn't a specific visual identifier that someone has autism but I think the intention behind the words is more so "You don't display many of the behaviors usually associated with the autism spectrum." My brother has autism and it's a little bit more apparent with him because he's not as eloquent with his words like you are. He struggles with correct grammar and wording with his speech and it's extremely apparent that he struggles with English when he writes. A very common area affected by autism is speech and language so it's not immediately apparent with you in your videos because you clearly have no detriment in this area.

  28. I actually think you can hear that.. sounds silly I know but your voice is kinda monotonous and I think that’s typical for autism?

  29. I love that you asked your bestie to give her perspective on your Autism. Autism is super close to my heart because my older brother has Asperger’s. It’s what makes you all so special ❤️

  30. Female with autism are affected differently then male with autism and i am autistic but not diagnosed yet

  31. I'm color blind, weirdly most things you've said are the same, except the added "prove it" and "what color is this" and the shock people experience when I tell them I have trained myself to switch from red to green and from green to red.

  32. i haven't even watched the video yet. i just wanted to tell you that i've seen a ton of your chronic illness vlogs (started watching you and The Raw Life in January when I was in the hospital) and was immediately drawn to you right away. You seemed to have a familiar air about you. when i saw this video in the recommended today, it all clicked. i connected with you because i understand you. people on the spectrum are able to relate to one another more than they are able to relate with NTs. Just wanted to let you know that sharing this part of your life is amazing and i'm glad you did because it made me feel less alone. 😀

  33. Women can definitely have autism! However, I think the misconception comes from the fact that it is diagnosed at a MUCH higher rate in males. I think currently research data shows about 75% of those diagnosed are male….anecdotally 3 people in my family have autism ranging from VERY mild to VERY VERY severe and they are all males

  34. At 13:49 that "wave" you did ~ In american sign language that means "dirty". Lol!
    Don't believe me? Ask any deaf person.

  35. I need a friend like Janeece. If you figure out how to train a SD how to detect when youre over-stepping the social norms boundaries, PLEASE let is know. Then I'll teach my SD the task. Lol. I have Aspergers, big yime, in addition to other disabilities.

  36. You have talk about the eye contact,, you come across your videos so well. I have a son that has autism and you can see he has autism. You may have it but you handle yourself well

  37. amazing 🙂 also, i like the topic switch from “autism isn't something wrong with me, it's part of who i am“ to “oh no… they don't have the sweater in my size!!“ – talking about actual life problems! 🙂

  38. I have a friend who has autisum and I don't see her differently but I still know that she has autisum but I love her for it she so sweet and when I found out she has autisum told me that she was autistic and she said it was autisum awareness month that's how I found out

  39. I have Auditory processing disorder and I don't take jokes very well, often its hard for me to pick out one voice or one sound in a very loud place. sometimes I confuse two letters like b and d. I'm also very close to some high functioning autistic people and I love how it makes them so unique ;)) I was watching your other video on your autism and I couldn't relate more to taking things literally!! virtual hugs!! <3

  40. This is not related to this video but I hate it when people think they know your feelings through "personal experiences". I have an ALLERGY to milk and other lactates ( milk given by animals). a few things I am told a lot are: "I'm vegan I know what its like to give up milk", "Why don't you take a Lactaid or something?", and " Allergies aren't even real." These things annoy me for various reasons 1. milk is in so much stuff being allergic and choosing not to eat it are DIFFERENT things 2. Lactaid and other over the counter meds are for LACTOSE INTOLERANCE not for an allergy 3. allergies do exist why do you think people can DIE from anaphylaxis due to allergies so go do some research. thank ya'll for letting me vent.

  41. I just got diagnosed with autism about three weeks ago. I'm female, black, and was diagnosed by a psychologist at Chenal Therapy. I was soooooo happy to learn I had autism because all I've been through in life not knowing, especially my extremely sensitive hearing and smell, I always thought I was a mistake or a defective who was just stupid. But now I know I'm just autistic, and it is why I have my obsessions and never want to lose them! Autism is not fully who you are, but it's a PART of who you are. So I never want to lose it. I just want people to understand me (mostly for my sensitive hearing). Even though my mother was at the diagnosis, it's like she STILL doesn't understand that I can't just "get over" the loud noise. Before my sensitive hearing, I still had sensitivities to smell, touch, bright lights, and bits of taste. My hearing is what ruined everything. My ears never should have opened up! Plus I've always struggled with social norms, and now I know why. I like how my autism makes me ME. And it makes me hate myself way less than I always did. (I also have depression and anxiety as well as OCD and SPD) I think if I didn't have autism, I wouldn't have my obsession and strong love for animals, cartoons, and playing instruments. Plus, I'm eextremely ambitious and cannot give up. I'm incapable of giving up what so ever! I'm also logical, detailed (in drawing animals as well. Just look at my avatar. I drew myself as that hyena!), crazy, stubborn, weird, and loyal. Those are some of my good qualities, and I wanna keep them. I may take stuff literally and not understand things like the neurotypical people do, but I just don't give a shit. I get angry and frustrated when they don't listen to me or get frustrated at me when I don't get something. I hate people who get so offended easily over everything because I don't know what's offensive and what's not. I also hate people who call me weak just for being unable to make eye contact or call me retarded just for being weird and being goofy. I never want to lose my autism! It's into an illness or (maybe not even a disability for people higher on the spectrum); it's a way the brain is developed and the personality is formed. It's one of those good disabilities that you don't want to get rid of.

  42. I have autism also and I'm very blunt and tend to say things that most people won't.
    I'll try again to tell you I'm offended that you deleted my posts because of my autism and the way I spoke up and explain things.

  43. Hi there I just wanted to say I have a nephew that is autistic he is so sweet and special I wanted to post on your coming out post but comments were disabled how ever I love your story your such a wonderful and amazing woman I’m also disabled and dealing with chronic pain but your life has given me new hope for the future I wish there were more people like you out there the whole world would be a better place if we all thought and always lived life like it’s a gift not a burden thank you so much sweetie I hope you so much I hope you feel better

  44. I get: "You're too old to be autistic. Only kids have it." By the time Aspergers Syndrome was recognized and included in the DSM, I was already well into middle age. I'm a Senior Citizen now and it's frustrating. I still struggle.

  45. I have ADD and I’ve had people tell me “you can’t have ADD you’re a straight A student!” And I actually laughed out loud at that. Before my diagnosis and medication I was failing every class i took. Now that I know what I have I can cope better and do well in school.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *