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A Hat in Time: Welcome to Mafia Town – PART 1 – Game Grumps

A Hat in Time: Welcome to Mafia Town – PART 1 – Game Grumps

[Arin]: Hey I’m Grump! [Dan]: I’m not so Grump! [Both]: And we’re the Game Grumps! [Arin]: Welcome back to Game Grumps
[Dan]: Welcome to Game Grumps [Dan]: I don’t know what this is.
[Arin]: This is called a hat in time. [Dan]: What does that mean
[Arin]: This was another independently developed video game. [Dan]: Okay.
[Arin]: that was in development for a long time [Dan]: Is it related to The Cat in the Hat? [Dan]: The Cat in the Hat in time? [Arin]: Sure (unamused)
[Dan]: I hope it is. [Arin]: You know what? I’ll just say sure.
[Dan]: Because unless everything… I don’t want to do anything [Dan]: that’s not in some way based on a (Arin cuts him off)
[Arin]: Right [Arin]: So if it, if it makes you feel any better to play this game then yes, great
[Dan]: Mhhmm [Dan]: Ah, gears for breakfast. Part of a balanced meal
[Arin]: *Chuckles* [Arin]: It’s a, it’s a love letter to GameCube games [Dan]: Wake up lady
[Arin]: and to platformers [Dan]: I’mma stuff gears in your fat face [Arin]: *chuckling* What if it just was like *buzzer sound* *screaming* [Both laugh] [Arin]: Runs out of- Oh it is, haha [Game]: Welcome to yet another day of Space Adventure! [Game]: You are only five lightyears- [Arin]: She’s gotta take a shower.
[Dan]: Oh, she’s a cutie [Dan]: Nah, she’s just gonna roll out of bed and start an adventure. All stank and shit [Arin]: Dude, I can’t do that without having a shower: a morning shower.
[Dan]: Oh god. [Arin]: Got to get my morning breakfast on, gotta get some nosh [Dan]: I believe there’s a Daniel Tosh thing about this, but-
[Arin]: Daniel nosh? [Dan]: Uh, yeah. Have you ever- Yay Pillows!
[Arin]: *laughs*, look at this whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! (gradually more intense) [Dan]: Have you ever showered, and then you have to take a shit, and you’re like “Fuck man!” [Both Laugh] [Arin]: I don’t mind
[Dan]: I believe his statement is like, “You’ve just got to start your day over.” [Arin]: I, well, I wash my asshole quite, uhh, extremely. [Dan]: Yeah, you might even say way too much.
[Arin]: No I, I fucking love washing my asshole [Dan]: Yeah, I know. I know, Arin.
[Arin]: I’m like a ashwhole wassing f- [Arin]: (Trying again to say it) Ass- Asshole Wa-
[Dan]: (w/southern accent) I’mma asshole washin fool. [Arin]: Oh look I’ve got a little punch, and everything. Look at me go! *makes laser noises*
[Dan]: Man, [Dan]: you look like a… [Dan]: part of your spaceship looks like a casino in Vegas [Dan]: You know what it looks like? It looks like the movie theater in Dead Rising. Remember?
[Arin]: Oh, yeah [Dan]: yeah. [Arin]: Got a very colorful vibe to it. Let’s play some vidja games.
[Dan]: This is your spaceship? [Arin]: I guess so.
[Dan]: I love it [Arin]: I’m going through time with a hat on.
[Dan]: Hello friendly hockey puck! [Arin]: Hence “The Hat in Time” [Dan]: Hmm (contemplative)
[Arin]: Am I like? Oh (disappointed) *chuckles*
[Dan]: Oh, well then [Arin]: Just a thing for screenshots, I guess.
[Dan]: Hope you had fun. [Arin]: All right, Let’s talk to this [Arin]: (drawing his words out) My mom said if I stand too close it hurts my eyes [Dan]: But what does she know? And where is she? And where am I? *chuckles*
[Arin]: I can’t see! My eyes hurt. [Dan]: She’s got purdy (pretty) eyes [Arin]: Oh, Ooo, Oh. What the heck was that noise? [Arin]: (reading) Use the hat to find your goal.
[Dan]: Sweet. I’m into it. [Dan]: Oh.
[Arin]: Is this guy trying to…?
[Dan]: Sir? You’re in space [Dan]: seems dangerous to open this [Arin]: Um… let me in please? [Arin]: Uh oh [Dan]: No one’s home.
[Arin]: Yeah *chuckles* uhh… [Dan]: I’m not here. *laughs* [Arin]: But the space is gonna leak in.
[Dan]: Yeah [Dan]: Ha ha. (mocking) [Arin]: *Bursts out laughing* Woah [Arin]: Oh he’s coming back. Oh, no everyone’s gunna die
[Dan]: Damn. [Sassy Dan]: Oh, now it bothers you? Alright well.
[Arin]: But not my spaceship [Arin]: You know…
[Dan]: Holy crap [Arin]: I feel that this game is very grounded in reality
[Dan]: Yep [Dan]: This is, this is why I hate the space mafia [Dan]: I’m just gonna come out and say it.
[Arin]: This is why I hate hats [Dan]: Hmm
[Arin]: Whenever you wear them something bad happens. [Dan]: Let’s watch the upskirt shot guys. Let’s. Can we?
[Arin]: She’s wearing pants!
[Dan]: Oh, well… [Dan]: Listen! I didn’t say it wasn’t hot!
[Arin]: *chuckles* [Dan]: Welcome to mafia town!
[Arin]: Yeah, that seems very welcoming.
[Both laugh] [Dan]: (Over-pronouncing the Ps) It’s a piece of cake to break a pretty pasta [Arin]: Look at him go. Oh look I’m in mafia town. This is fucking great. [Dan]: It’s a piece of cake to bake some fuckin ragu just like mama. [Arin]: Dude, it’s like, uhh, it’s like banjo kazoople, err, or [Arin]: Mario’s… Mario’s sam show. [Dan]: Can I tell you a little story from the road? Hello young lady with a mustache.
[Arin]: Yeah, sure. [Dan]: Um… I was uh… [Arin]: Oh, jeez, [Dan]: I was walking around backstage, and one of the members of T.W.R.P., I will not say who, um… [Dan]: I uh.. I saw… I – I [Dan]: I opened the bathroom door, it was unlocked.
[Arin]: Uh huh. [Dan]: And there he was in his boxers, and he turned around, um.. [Dan]: And he was like “whoa whoa woah”. He had like… He only turned around from like the top [Dan]: You know the torso stayed facing the other way. And, uh… I was like “Haha, finally!” You know, [Dan]: As in like, “Finally I get to see you half nude” like “ha ha ha” And I closed the door. Later, I find out that apparently he was jacking off [Arin]: *Laughs*
[Dan]: And he thought that I knew, and that’s why he thought I said “Finally” [Both laugh] [Dan]: Which was extra funny
[Arin continues to laugh] [Dan]: But I. It was. It was like the last thing that would have crossed my mind! Because A) he was so casual about it [Arin]: Maybe its just from like years and years of like trying to avoid the parents.
[Dan]: Yeah, or just like being on the road and like… [Dan]: Yeah whatever
[Arin]: It’s fine
[Dan]: Yeah [Dan]: And also, I was surprised- Oh wait, hold on [Arin]: I don’t care
[Dan]: Okay. [Arin]: (mumbling) We’re in some junk land, alright
[Dan]: Cool, works for me. Um… [Dan]: But it also surprised me because like… he’s a… I can’t… [Dan]: I can’t even fathom being a stand-up jacker [Dan]: You know what I mean?
[Arin]: Oh, I’m, I’ve done… [Arin]: Sch, are you kidding me? I’ve done it everywhere, I’ve done it upside down
[Dan]: Oh, dude I have to… [Dan]: I have to… I have to be sitting or lying down in a reclined, relaxed position. [Arin]: Schhhh (super not amused by Dan’s excessive jacking requirements)
[Dan]: Otherwise it feels like fucking work man. [Arin]: Must not be very adventurous in bed.
[Dan]: Dude. Are you kidding? [Dan]: When there’s another person involved? [Dan]: I’m like… I’m like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and I’m on a quest *This had been censored, we are sorry for the inconvenience, we can only imagine what horrible, horrible things Dan is saying here* [Dan]: And, like… so [Dan]: But it’s… I don’t know [Dan]: There’s… there’s a lot of danger involved [Dan]: I’m afraid like… if I was standing… I’m afraid my knees would buckle and uh…
[Arin chuckles] [Dan]: Like I’ll bang my head against the sink [Arin]: Jesus
[Dan]: And then crack my skull open, and then I’m lying on the floor, and cumming and dying at the same time [Arin]: *chuckles* You got fucking jelly legs?
[Dan]: That’s no fun, I- [Aron]: You’re a pretty strong guy.
[Dan]: Thanks, bro. Thanks for noticing [Dan]: I don’t know! When I jizz like it’s a… it’s a full [Dan]: Body, mind, and soul experience. And like every cell in my body goes like [Dan]: Bluffluflllfulfufheh (deflation noise???) [Dan]: Yeah
[Arin]: Thumpity Thumpity Thump
[Dan]: Yeah, I don’t know it seems dangerous to me. [Arin]: (reacting to the game) Oh. Ow, stop! [Arin]: The fuck is going on man? [Dan]: “In God We Trust” I like that. Does God have a flan for me? [Arin]: Is this like a fish town? Fisherman town?
[Dan]: Yeah! [Arin]: What the Hell is happening? [Arin]: Okay, so I can’t see this… this guy, he doesn’t want me to see him. [Dan]: Do you see me? No? Good. [Arin]: I don’t wanna give it up, it’s pretty and shiny and makes me feel masculine. [Dan]: (Reading the apron) Kiss the Cook [Arin]: Uh-oh
[Dan]: Oh shit. [Dan]: Now what?
[Arin]: Oh, shit. [Dan]: Oh, dude beat him with the umbrella.
[Arin]: Yeah, I’m gonna get him, dude [Dan]: This game is friggin adorable.
[Arin]: Get him! [Arin]: It’s hard to catch him.
[Dan]: Man, beating people with an umbrella is harder than one would have thought! [Arin]: Got hi’!
[Dan]:You did- Wow, he’s dead! You killed him. [Arin]: Something came for you to mail today! [Dan]: Congratulations [Arin]: Deez Nuts [Arin]: Nice. [Arin]: I did it! [Arin]: That was easy as pie. [Arin]: Thank God we played this after fucking cuphead.
[Dan]: Oh my god! Yeah. Cuphead…
[Arin]: That’s a breath of fresh air [Dan]: Cuphead kinda broke us a little bit
[Arin]: A little bit. [Dan]: It didn’t break us, but it bent us pretty hard.
[Arin]: Contra levels have broken us. [Dan]: Yeah Contra. Contra was actually mad. Cuphead, I was just like wow this is tough
[Arin chuckles] [Arin]: Yay, I got a telescope! [Arin]: Now I can… Now I can see the tip of my dick! [Both laugh]
[Dan]: Well done, Arin. [Dan]: Is that a roomba? Is that what that thing is?
[Arin]: Yeah, I think so
[Dan]: Thats great [Dan]: At long last! The Boober [Arin]: (Reading) Welcome to Mafia Town
[Dan]: Check! [Dan]: and mate [Arin]: Barrel Battle? Hmm that seems scary. [Dan]: (yelling) Arin you gotta battle the barrel! [Arin]: I don’t want to! (Reading) She Came From Outer Space.
[Dan]: Oh, Sweet! [Arin]: What the fuck?! Is that me?
[Dan]: Wow, act three! [Dan]: Skipping over act two.
[Arin]: Oh, whoops. Was I not supposed to do that?
[Dan]: It’s alright. [Arin]: Oh, my bad.
[Dan]: I mean whatever is open to you [Arin]: (blubbery voice) Oh! I wish I could see something!
[Dan]: I hope that giant, adorable mud monster doesn’t kill us all. [Dan]: (little girl voice) I’m here!
[Both chuckle] [Arin]: (little girl voice) Mud monster appears! [Arin]: Um.. Wow, this seems like a huge stage. [Arin]: Hey, what’s up? Oh sorry! [Arin]: Ah! God! I’m sorry! Now I kill you! [Arin yells] [Arin]: Alright whatever
[Dan]: Wow, he’s mad. [Arin]: Whatever, I don’t give a shit. I got an umbrella now. [Arin]: Do I just have this umbrella forever?
[Dan]: I think so. I think it’s your main weapon [Arin]: Um… Okay, well I’m gonna keep going up then. [Dan]: Cuz you stole it from a guy, and you beat him with it [Arin]: Yeah sure, that’s what you’re doing. I have a feeling you’re a certain member of T.W.R.P. [Dan]: Yeah, right? Absolutely. [Dan]: I see you bro. Don’t think I’ve forgotten.
[Arin]: I didn’t even think they had penises [Dan]: Yeah
[Arin]: They’re from the future and space
[Dan]: Yeah, they’re robots, and/or a cat. [Arin]: Hmm. Really narrows it down, doesn’t it?
[Dan]: Sure does
[Both Laugh] [Dan]: It wasn’t the cat
[Arin keeps laughing] [Arin]: Well now you’ve narrowed it down!
[Dan]: Yeah, at least to 75%
[Arin]: Okay, [Arin]: Mmm, it’s beautiful. Get this [Arin]: Wow [Arin]: What is the point of those?
[Dan]: Hit him with the umbrella! [Arin]: That guy?
[Dan]: I think there’s just like moments where you can just take in the prettiness [Arin]: Oh, he doesn’t give a shit
[Dan]: Nah he’s fine. [Arin]: He doesn’t make squeaky noises. See? now I understand why I’m the mud monster: because I got covered in mud. [Dan]: Ohhh (as if he’d just realised something) [Arin]: (Reading) Sprint yarn!
[Dan]: (Reading) This yarn is looking ready to sprint. [Dan]: Yeah. I’ll, I’ll take your word for it [Arin]: Yeah, never seen yarn described in that manner. [Arin]: Hey wake up! wake up! [Dan]: Hey next time on Game Grumps!
[Arin]: Wake up! Wake up! [Dan]: This is delightful. See you then!
[Arin]: Wake up! [Dan]: Bye! (whispered)
[Arin]: He won’t wake up

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