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A Kindergarten Fight for Love


♪♪>>KAYDEN HAS COOTIES!>>[LAUGHS] >>NU-UH! JENNY HAS COOTIES!>>NO! YOU DO, STUPID!>>NO, YOU DO!>>NO, YOU DO!>>[LAUGHS] >>COME ON, KIDS! BE NICE!>>NO, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER MEAN WORD OUT OF EITHER OF YOU.>>WHY MUST YOU TEASE ME SO, JENNY?>>BECAUSE YOU REALLY DO HAVE COOTIES. YOU’RE AN IMPERTINENT COOTIE PANTS AND THAT’S THAT. LADIES? [LAUGHS] >>KAYDEN THOMPSON?>>WHO WANTS TO KNOW?>>SOMEONE WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU BEHIND THE WALLYBALL WALL.>>WALLYBALL WALL? WHO?>>JUST FOLLOW ME PLEASE. [CLEARS THROAT] >>THANK YOU TANNER. OH TANNER? GIVE ME A CAPRISUN CARIBBEAN COOLER. AND FOR OUR GUEST, LET ME GUESS, A VERY BERRY SQUEEZE-IT?>>IT’S A LITTLE EARLY FOR ME. MY MOM SAYS I CAN’T HAVE SUGAR BEFORE LUNCHTIME.>>GET HIM ONE ALL THE SAME. NONE FOR YOU THOUGH. HE JUST QUIT.>>I RECOGNIZE YOU.>>I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT. YOU’RE JAYDEN MILLER. YOU PLAYED FREEZE TAG ON SOUTH FIELD.>>[LAUGHS] PERHAPS IN MY YOUNGER DAYS, NOW I PLAY AN ALTOGETHER DIFFERENT GAME.>>CARTOON TAG?>>THAT’S RIGHT. YOU KNOW YOUR TAGS. KAYDEN, LET’S GET DOWN TO BRASS-TACKS. I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTICED YOU’VE DEVELOPED QUITE A KINSHIP WITH MISS STALEY.>>YOU MEAN JENNY?>>THE VERY SAME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING- DON’T TOUCH THAT!>>WELL, I MIGHT HAVE. WHY DO YOU CARE?>>OH, OH KAYDEN. DON’T BE COY. WE’RE BOTH MEN OF THE WORLD. WE’RE BOTH 6.>>ACTUALLY I’M 6 AND A HALF.>>AND I’M 6 AND THREE-QUARTERS, BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT WE NEEDN’T PLAY THESE GAMES.>>FINE. IT’S TRUE. [LAUGHS] WE HELD HANDS FOR FIVE SECONDS THEN SHE KICKED ME IN THE SHINS AND I CHASED HER DOWN AND RUBBED BARK CHIPS IN HER FACE.>>WELL THAT’S CLEARLY QUITE SERIOUS.>>I’D LIKE TO THINK SO.>>I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT JENNY AND I ALSO HAVE A PAST.>>REALLY?>>YES. WE MADE KISSY FACE BEHIND THE CAFETERIA THEN SHE PUNCHED ME IN MY TUMMY AND I LOCKED HER IN THE BOY’S BATHROOM.>>WELL GET TO THE POINT, MAN! IT’S STORY TIME IN 20 MINUTES AND I INTEND TO BE THERE. I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO MISTER WAFFLE.>>JAYDEN. KAYDEN, I HOPE YOU TWO ARE PLAYING NICELY.>>I’LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. UM, UM, MISTER PENDERGRAST.>>UH-HUH.>>UM, UM, KAYDEN SAID- HE TOLD ME THAT- HE TOLD ME THAT HIS MOM- YOU KNOW HIS MOM, HIS MOM HAS A DOG.>>THAT’S NICE. WELL YOU TWO BOYS HAVE FUN NOW.>>JENNY LEFT ME, KAYDEN. ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? SHE’S A FICKLE TEMPTRESS. AS FIRST GRADERS OFTEN ARE.>>SO WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR? IF YOU REALLY WANT TO WIN HER BACK ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS PUT GUM IN HER HAIR AND KICK HER BACKPACK.>>DON’T YOU THINK I’VE TRIED THAT? I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING! STOLEN HER MILK, MASHED ALL MY FOOD UP ON A PLATE AND MADE HER WATCH ME EAT IT. NOTHING WORKS.>>FREEZE!>>NO! WALL IS BASE!>>FREEZE!>>NO, YOU SAID WALL IS BASE!>>[CRIES] >>I NEED AN INSIDE MAN. SOMEONE WHO CAN PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR ME. TELL HER THAT I WRITE MY “2’S” BACKWARDS AND I HAVE A BICYCLE.>>WELL I CAN’T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU UNFREEZE ME.>>IF I DO THIS FOR YOU, YOU’LL HELP ME OUT?>>YES.>>YOUR BEVERAGES, SIR.>>MAYBE I WILL HAVE THAT DRINK AFTER ALL. [SLURPING] >>HEY GET IT. YOU NEED HELP?>>I’M TRYING. I GOT IT.>>SO WHAT DO I GET OUT OF ALL OF THIS?>>I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ASK. MY MOMMY MAKES HOMEMADE P, B, AND J’S. THEY COULD BE YOURS FOR A MONTH.>>DOES SHE CUT THE CRUSTS OFF?>>NO. SHE SAYS THEY’RE THE MOST NUTRITIOUS PART.>>NO DEAL.>>HOW DARE YOU KAYDEN! DON’T BE A POOPY-PANTS!>>WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?>>A POO-PY PANTS.>>WELL, I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?>>YOU’RE AN ANIMAL KAYDEN. YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO TO ANIMALS?>>WE PET THEM NICELY AND FEED THEM CARROTS?>>THAT’S RIGHT. BY THE WAY, MISTER WAFFLE, HE GETS A NEW HAT.>>YOU SPOILED IT!>>THE TITLE IS “MISTER WAFFLE GETS A NEW HAT.”>>I THOUGHT IT WAS A RED HERRING.>>ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED?>>KAYDEN WAS PUNCHING ME AND I TRIED TO STOP HIM AND PUNCHED HIM BACK AND- THIS ISN’T OVER KAYDEN. YOU’LL RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED ME. AND I HATE HIM AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM AND HIS FACE.>>YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM MAN.>>I CAN QUIT! THIS DOESN’T DEFINE ME!>>HEY ALL THE PEOPLE. HELP A BROTHER OUT AND SUBSCRIBE TO THIS VIDEO. IF IT GETS MORE THAN 10,000 LIKES I’LL- I’LL CHECK MYSELF INTO TIMEOUT. MM. MAYBE 20,000 LIKES. TAKE AWAY THE PAIN

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