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Back from brain surgery

Back from brain surgery


So on my grocery list I have craniectomy, bone flap craniotomy, excision meningioma, and it comes to a neat 232 thousand seven hundred and thirty six dollars and 56 cents. What a bargain. Don’t worry I have insurance but man this makes me worry about people who don’t. There are so many things I want to tell you and also so many things I really don’t want to tell you but bottom line is that I’m fine surgery went really well I can see out of both of my eyes and my brain seems to be working just as fine, or as poorly as it was before. I had grade one meningioma and it seems like a “good” brain tumor to have but talking about a good brain tumor feels a little bit like talking about a “fun” traffic jam. There’s nothing good or fun about them. They just… …suck different amounts. So I named my tumor Brian the brain tumor because things just get less scary if you name them and he had like definitely made himself comfortable in there and had grown into my jaw muscle and into my eye orbit and into my bone so now I have titanium mesh in the bone that separates my brain from my eye and I don’t think that’s a party trick that’s gonna give me a lot but still… The scar though! it’s a pretty significant upgrade considering that my second coolest scar… …is from removing a birthmark on my butt. So the days before surgery, I was like this weird combination of terrified and also really calm Um… ’cause it’s like you it’s out of your control, there’s nothing you can do about it and my mom and my sister was there and Scott… …who works with me and is also one of my best friends and we had to get up at 4:30 a.m to go to the hospital and I had started writing these letters to like people the people I love, just being like hey, I don’t know if I’m gonna be myself for a while so… …I just wanted to remind you that I really love you, etc. etc. etc. and it was… …just the fucking saddest thing I’ve ever done and I just couldn’t finish the letters ’cause I was like this is terrible, screw these letters. I’m just gonna have to wake up fine ’cause I don’t wanna have to do this… …and I did wake up fine. Surgery took nine hours and I came out of anesthesia just overhearing this nurse talking about how I am on YouTube because I think she had seen me talk at some event here in San Francisco so she was like “Don’t you know who she is?! She’s famous!” to the other nurses and it was such a like weird and surreal thing… …to wake up to so I was just like: please subscribe No, I did not say that… …but I had told my family to tweet an update as soon as they knew how the surgery had went because I knew that a lot of you are waiting and that you were worried. They tweeted that I had said something inappropriate and the inappropriate thing that I said was my surgeon… His name was Dr. Reddy, which is like the best name of a doctor ever but before surgery I forbid myself from like joking about his name because you don’t want to like upset the person who’s… …about to shave your head when you’re unconscious. I feel like neurosurgeons… They wouldn’t let themselves do a bad job on the brain but he could definitely have gone a little bit more creative with the shaving. So, Dr. Reddy came over as I was getting out of anesthesia, and he was like, “Hey Simone, how are you feeling?” and the first thing I said after 9 hours of surgery was “Hi Dr. Reddy… …do people make a lot of puns about your name?” and my family was like oh my God, she’s still herself. By the way, just the paranthesis. Dr. Reddy was so great. I’m not an expert but he seems to have done an okay job on my brain But um, he was also just so nice and pleasant and funny. Just great. Thanks. Dr. Reddy! I spent two days at the hospital and those days were really not fun I was pretty much constantly throwing up and vomiting and my hips hurt really badly from laying down so much and I could like walk up and down the hallway but that was pretty much it. Also I got this really weird thing where I had air trapped inside of my head because when you have craniotomy, there can be like air bubbles that are inside of your skull… …and it meant that every time I would move my head there would be this like weird “bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop” sound… …and also in certain positions there would be this like dripping sound. It sounded like like water drops in a cave like *water dropping sounds* Bloop and I guess it was just like spinal fluid dripping off of my brain So that was fun also My most sincere apologies to the nurse that helped me shower Because I obviously had a catheter for surgery and when they put it in they like inflate a balloon in your bladder because It’s more fun that way? so they had removed it just earlier that day. So when I was in the shower with a nurse, I Made like the longest fart it was like long and loud And I was like, oh my god. I’m so sorry, but that did not come from my butt that came from my pee hole I’m really sorry. I couldn’t help it. So the weeks of surgery. I’ve been feeling better and better I don’t seem to have lost any cognitive abilities and my eyesight is still 20/20 at first I kind of look like Gollum. Or like Smeagol, right? As he transitions to Gollum and then I kind of started looking like the evil kid in Toy Story I still kind of do but it’s definitely gotten a lot better but pretty much all I did was like lay around on this lap during my garden and Eat a lot of food because I had to take a bunch of steroids To reduce the swelling of my brain and it made me so hungry and so angry I was riding in a car with my friend and we’re trying to find parking in a parking lot and I started giving people the finger which I don’t think I’ve ever done previously in my life. My friend was like Simone You can’t flip people off. What are you doing? It was like these people are moving so fucking slowly It’s like they had brain surgery. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry in my entire life angry and hungry Now I’m just like happy and hungry a lot of people on Twitter have asked me if I have like changed personality since surgery which Just for like the record is a pretty rough question to ask somebody who just went through brain surgery like it’s fine with me But just for like future reference, but yeah, of course I’ve changed personality not because like the surgeon like slipped with a scalpel or sneezed or something like that But just because I’ve gone through this pretty major thing and major things change you no matter if you want it or not I think long-term It’s actually gonna be a really positive thing. people should be faced with losing Everything a little bit more often because it really helps put a lot of things into perspective and I I mean I had kind of come to terms with the thought of like not only losing my life but losing everything that made up my life and losing everything that made up me and Waking up and feeling fine and feeling more like myself is like the biggest relief of my entire life and Everything just felt like it was shiny and beautiful and I was like, I can’t believe I’m fine So the six weeks of recovery is over today Which means that I’m gonna get back to a pretty normal schedule I’m obviously still not fully recovered, but I’m allowed to walk up and down stairs myself and I am allowed to lift more than five pounds. So that’s really exciting Also last minute we decided to hire a documentary filmer so I have a bunch of footage from before surgery around surgery and in recovery and we still haven’t figured out what to do with that, but there might be Something down the line. Well, we’ll see. it’s so good to be back Thanks for like going through this super weird experience with me Having all of you in such a real and concrete way made it a lot more bearable. I’d rate having a brain tumor 2 out of 10 stars It wasn’t that great. But you know what they say about brain tumors They really grow on you. I’m so sorry. It’s such a bad joke. I can’t. Blame Bryan for that joke. Ok. Byeee

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100 thoughts on “Back from brain surgery

  1. I have no idea who you are, but you seem like a good person and I'm glad you're okay. Weird shit happens all the time to all kinds of people, it just does. The universe is in chaos. In the end all we have is our sense of humor.

  2. Glad you are okay, but wow, you are set for Halloween!!! Nothing so far on the head, but I have had 10 surgeries over my body from my knees to my shoulders. You are still freakin' creative!!!

  3. My Dad had a brain tumor removed last November. It was a very close call, they found just days before it would have killed him. Stage 4, Glioblastoma (cancerous), size of an golf ball/orange, front temporal lobe. He had a stroke afterwards, crippling his left side. He had chemo pills and radiation therapy for a few months, until finally coming home. Then, this February, 2 tumors came back, outside of the radiation zone, inoperable. He passed away this April, after choosing not to fight any longer.

  4. Hi, first time seeing your video. Im laughing at your statement about you giving the finger .. Only because I did the exact same thing when I was just coming out of Open Heart Surgery that was 14 years ago.I almost died and was angry when I woke up.  I gave the finger because I was strapped to the bed. Wasn't funny at the time, but I wish I would not have done it. Nurses were trying to make me better and recover from a major surgery too..love your video. Its 2019 I am watching this, I wish you well. Stay strong and be kind to yourself..

  5. Probably too late for you to notice this comment but I’m a new viewer and now patron. I just wanted to thank you for being you. It’s a strange thing for a complete stranger to say having only seen you for about 90 minutes of videos. But your courage, grace, humor, and love of life fills me with awe and appreciation. And your videos make me smile. So, keep being you. And keep them videos coming.

  6. Woooh…….
    This world is so much better because you’re here.!
    I’m very happy you came out of this ok 👍

  7. I can so relate to this .. My little friend isnt cancerous .. Doctor said i was lucky .. Have yet to see how lucky it is lol

  8. My little cousin has had 2 open heart surgeries and it has cost over 1 million dollars!!! Thank god he has insurance

  9. Scar means nothing beautiful is always beautiful. I know im years behind but i saw this and needed to say keep going hun you rule.

  10. If you've got titanium in your head does that make you part robot now? Not like one of your robots, I mean one of the cool ones like the Terminator or Bender. Jokes. Glad to hear you're doing awesome and look forward to seeing more of your robots hilariously malfunction in the future.

  11. Simone, you are amazing and strong and I LOVE your "bad" jokes, that's what makes them good… the world needs many more bad jokes. You. Are. A. Mazing. I'm so glad you are all right!

  12. Steroids suck! I had to be on steroids in MIDDLE SCHOOL so i was angery at everything! Even a wall! To be fair that wall was pretty shitty

  13. Tbh when I first watched your videos I really thought that you were a 18 to a 19 year old that dropped out of college like really

  14. my optometrists name when i was a kid was Dr Wong See…. i think that’s the best name an eye doctor can have. and yes steroids, hungry angry, i don’t know how men function

  15. Thats one thing that i will ALWAYS believe is wrong about the USA. The constant "you cant put a price on life" messages and then they charge you a quarter of a mill for potentially life saving surgery. Its scummy to the highest degree.

  16. yo… you have to pay all that for that? bro… here in England we pay tax that makes whenever we get ill we get free healthcare im sorry yall…

  17. Dear Simone, i don't know if you read these but I just happened to stumble upon your TED video, and reading the comments, i learned that you are suffering from this disease, and I would like you to know that i'm cheering for you!

    My mother died from a brain tumor last year, and surreal, as written in your description, it's the perfect word for all of it. However, and this is important as not to scare you, i'm very happy to note that your particular tumor is different from my mother's, and it seems that, as of this comment, you're doing well. Nevertheless, this disease, with all it's facets, it hits close to home with me, especially the scar.

    As you said brilliantly in your other video, after this type of experience, the perspective of everything changes. I can assure you, this also happens for those around the person who is ill.

    I don't know you personally, only from your videos, and I don't know any of your family, but it's easy to see how you are a shining precious light in the hearts of your family, friends and loved ones, with your joviality, your good mood, your humor, and your overall happiness and nice and positive way of seeing things.

    I don't know if there's the littlest meaning in this valley of tears we call life, but if there is, it's certainly most close to what you're generally doing: enjoying life, doing things that makes you happy, being happy and spreading this happiness.

    God bless you, and those around you, especially your family and close friends. It's not much, but i'll keep you in my prayers.

  18. yeah head sugery scars suck but at lease your surgeon came all the way to your hairline. mine stopped like half an inch away so I can't even use the scar as a hair part because there's always this half-inch that does whatever it wants the thing that pisses me off though is that same scar was cut open at least 13 times. (probably more but i was in a coma for 2 months so who knows.) with the bone flap going in and out 6 times it was out for so long that my body kept rejecting it going back in so now basically the whole right side of my skull is a plate. and even though its nonmagnetic titanium i still damn near get scelpped at airports they think I'm hiding a razor under my scalp or something

    scars are just trophies of battles we've won

  19. My brother was hit in the head by a guy with a hammer and we feared the worst for him. After a lot of time he came out of it just the same as you came out of your surgery. Happy and yourself. God bless you

  20. wooo go you. I had brain surgery too 5.5 years ago lol decompression surgery for Chiari Malformation, not as bad as yours tbh I always feel like it wasn't really brain surgery cause they didn't actually cut into my brain. I feel like a bit of a cheater saying I had brain surgery even though it was brain surgery but they didn't cut into my brain but they did cut a hole in my skull to allow more room for my brain.

    When Id come round after mine my brother was on the phone and he said hi and I was like "hello stuart" only sounding all messed up and he freaked out and I was killing myself laughing but yeah theres nothing like brain surgery to make you appreciate the fact you are still alive. I felt more like me than I had in a long long time after mine, didn't realize how much it had affected me, it was almost instantaneous apart from my head felt like a giant rock I could barely hold up lol

  21. The popping sound when I turn my head! Ugh…. I was Terrified to leave the hospital. My brain was just Exposed! What if I die!

  22. Fuck me … I see the 10th video from this channel. From the first video it is clear that this girl is generally VIP on this planet …. And then I click here and find this video …. I know about at least 10 people who would deserve it …. But this one girl definitely not. Good thing it turned out well… Otherwise, this world wouldn't make much sense anymore.

  23. recently found out I have pineal tumor, no idea how bad or what just know it's there…it's scary My memory has been shit as of late too. Hopefully correcting it isn't a big thing.

  24. What is odd Simone is that the first issue of yours I saw was " My brain tumor is back" and have done the time warp backwards. I am about to send you to my nieces and nephews. I am 65 and while I don't feel young, I get it when I watch you. (Can't remember young? Imagine that.) I have also been an artist most of my life and tend to do some of the tinkerings with this world, like you. Soo you are an inspiration to an old man. Shit now I sound like a grandpa which I am not. Still single if any of you old grey heads are listening. But if I did have a granddaughter I would want her to be like you. BRAVE and self deprecating, and smart and free and Swedish, and a ted talk veteran and and and. God its the grandpa mode run amuck.

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