Inti: You’ve always
been brilliant. [ Makasu moaning ] Ohhhh. Whoa! [ Moaning continues ] [ Echoing ] Why… were you… Your… serve. My name is Makasu, and I’m an international
sportsman and religious-relic thief. You might have heard
of my heists and my famous abilities
in sports. I always travel with my servant, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear, who lives in my
back-pocket dimension. Chirp! Chirp!
Okay. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Chirp! Wa-ha! Chirp! Wah!
Wow! Thank you, Back Pocket
Dimension Flying Bear. I believe we’re here
at the ruins. Chirp! Chirp! Hah!
You dirty whore boy, you! Wa-ha-ho-ho!
Ha-ha hee-hoo! Ha-ha hee-hoo.
You are a dirty whore boy! Okay. [ Wind whistles ] Now, to use this rod. [ To himself ]
To use this rod I boughtin the Peruvian black marketwith ancient counting ropes
used in Incan times.Chirp! Chirp! Bitch, what’s wrong
with you, so-horny boy! Chirp!Please work.[ Rumbling ] ♪♪ Oh, wow! Ahh! Outward Earth, move!
Rah! So, you’ve come, Makasu. Hyah!
You knew of my arrival. My repu– perp– My repre–
uh [bleep] me. All deities know
of your exploits. I am infamous,
incredibly cool, and I am
also the Internet. You can’t trick me,
Maka-chan. You are not the Internet. You are a sportsman.He knows
I’m not the Internet.Who is this guy?You want the ultimate treasure
of South America. And I have no plans
to stop you. In fact, I would like
to guide you through the pachas
of the Inca, towards our secret vault
of treasure. Oh, wow! But to claim what you seek,
you must best the Gods in… Peru tennis. Oh, wow!In order to get the true
treasure of South America,I’m challenging
all the Incan gods to tennis.I hope I can win.Narrator:
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” What’s wrong? I just said
I wanted to help you. Tennis is the sport
I’ve always been worst at and the “sport
that makes me the most emotional” sport
of every sport. It gives me…
emotional memories. Aw. Dang. Ewww.Even all this vibrating
of my button the rocks of the Andes,on this butt surf down to Machu
Picchu, isn’t cheering me up.Uhhhh. Uh… Gazelle-like leap!
Aaaah! Aaaah! Makasu-san? Don’t look at me,
Incan God. I’m so not kawaii
when I get emotional.Kawaii is the name
I’ve givento my favorite dream island
for Hawaii.If it existed, it would be
full of cute chibi catsand they’d work
at Cold Stoneand give me my favorite
sherbet, with yogurt rocks.And they’d live inside
an ice cream.Ah, interesting idea. But you’re known
for never giving up, no matter the sport
needed for acquiring the treasures you seek. After everything
you’ve done — You don’t know me!
You only know stories.In my dream, the island
of Kawaii has a car cat.The cat goes meow-meow
for “purr,”and the cars
are also called Kyle.The island of Kyle cats driving
Kyle cars is a real island.This is my dream island.Wow! God of Tennis:I thought he was
going to be the one.The volcano that formed
Kawaii eruptedin very cute
little fire guys.Makasu:Islands are made
from volcanoesand exist in the ocean.They’re kinda the nipples
of the sea.Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear… Chirp! …my racket, please. Okay. Chirp! Tennis was the only sport
I wanted to avoid play…ing. You wanna know why,
Incan? Chirp! My grandfather — he played a similar game… known as rac-quet-ball. Aah. Hah! I’m returning it, Grandpa. He’d take me after hot dogs to go play with him
at rac-quet court. Nice return, Makasu! But the truth is, his passion
for rac-quet was his undoing. Aah! Brain! Grandpa? Grandpa? Grandfather! The wound afflicted him with
aphasia and a gradual dementia. His passion for rac-quet balls
“dequeriated.” Uh… They used to give us guns. Hmm. Sent us into the jungle. They told us to go
kill people. They told us to ki-i-ll! Grandfathe-e-e-r! Uh, the truth is, uh,
this was his racket. Get ahold of yourself! You are not becoming
your grandfather just by playing tennis! You are not stepping into Korea
and mowing down Communists with
an American-made rifle. You are merely playing tennis
against bastardized motifs of Incan religion. And what do you know
about me, about loss?! You’re a god — too lofty to even allow a mortal,
like me, have one sport
they can’t be the best at! Chirp! [ Sniffing ]Coq au vin?
Who is this guy?God of Tennis:
1968, A.D. — the year that changed
everything. Monsieur, monsieur,
we are French cinema students with French New Wave cinema.
Uh, take our films! Get away from me
with your films! Stomping away
angrily to the café! Quick! Let’s make a film
of that pigeon! The Aboriginals of Australia
believe that if you capture something
on camera, you steal its soul. New Wave cinema stole
the soul of my home. I’m not originally
an Incan deity. I was part of a now-forgotten
French Pantheon. We resided in the most
ancient of French landmarks — the millions-of-years-old
Tour Eiffel, made of melted
Neanderthal butts. There were 12 of us — Veronique,
the Stepmother of all Gods; Jean, God of the Nicotine; Luc, God of Piss-Covered
Cobblestones; Woody Allen,
God of Marrying Daughters; Chloe, Goddess of Lady Hair
All Over the Body, Even the Hands; Roman Polanski,
God of Pedophiles; four other gods;
and I, the God of Tennis. French pantheon?
I’m playing with my nipples. How may I help you? Just a Nescafé.
“What else?” Oh, you are a god,
are you not? We do not serve
your kind here. Je suis désolé. Hey, you should really
leave France. Now that we have New Wave
cinema and socialism, we do not need gods. They will kill you
if they find you, just like what they did
with the others. The students,
with their cameras and their riots. It’s 1968. Time for a new generation — generation of mortals. [ Coos ] Goodbye, pigeon! God of Tennis:
I was lost, without a family. I tried to pretend to be mortal,
hide in the metro. Hey, I do tennis tricks. I give blowjob and do
tennis tricks. I do 30-love, I do… But our age was over. I can put the tennis racket
all the way up! The only place I knew exiled Europeans to survive
was Argentina, where the Nazis
went after Nuremberg. But they told me their bunks
were all full with sexy little
Hitler boy clones with big Brazil butts,
and I’m no god of pedophiles. Then, I met them — the aging
Incan gods, almost obsolete themselves,
and they took me in. Because they love tennis. Every pantheon loves
a secret specific sport. You know this
more than anyone. And the Incans,
they loved tennis. And as luck
would have it, you were the French
God of Tennis. Tennis. Tennis. Both: Tennis! Oh, ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha. I guess I was lucky. I’m so sorry I doubted
the pain you went through. It’s such a moving story,
and I’m lucky to have a God of Tennis here to tell me
what’s to do with… Both: Tennis. Tennis! Ha-ha-ha. I’m playing
with my nipples again. I am a strong boy with feelings
of worth, good at most sports,
God of Tennis. But on top of my emotional
baggage, surrounding rackets, my forehand smash
lacks power and finesse. Ughhh. Ughhh. Your stroke reeks
of ignorance. Warp with me to
a more evocative setting, and I will shower you
with tennis lore. Welcome to
my inner sanctum. [ Gasping ] Makasu:
The books, they breathe. They teach, but reading
makes me angry. [ Mumbling ] The official story
on the World Wide Web states that tennis harkens
back to 12th-century France, when and where I was born
and awoke into my godhood. But that’s only a fraction
of the story. Tennis predates even
the God of Tennis’ divinity? You see it, Makasu? Cygnus rips a volley
to Cassiopeia. Cassiopeia wings it back. Cygnus misses! 15-love! 30-15,
you piece of shit. But you get it. This is where it all began
and continues. Sheer happenstance,
beyond the heavens, became a hobby
spanning eons. This was never
covered in class!School never prepares you
for real life, about tennis.My teachers are dumb.The Dirty Clan. The Dirty Clan hunted. They gathered. And they played tennis. Theirs was a crude precursor
to the sport of lawns. Your eyes are opening. Wow! Look now at the sacrifices
made to keep tennis relevant. Tennis lore almost didn’t
survive the Beforetimes. Early kings feared it. Religions forbade it. Were it not for the bravery
of some, like Thierry here,
tennis might’ve perished. -Aaah!
-Thanks, Thierry! Thierry would not
have liked you. [ Sighs ]
But that was Thierry. God of Tennis: A more
enlightened age would follow, where competing countries would stage matches
for years on end. Whoa! One epic rally paused for only a single hour
on Christmas Eve… Whoa! …when the players
put down their rackets, met in the center,
and killed each other. [ Explosion ] Aaah! Yes, tennis. This is
the knowledge I need. I will channel the grace
of the stars, the strength of the Dirty Clan,
the honor of Thierry! I can feel their lessons coursing
through my body already! Hwa cha cha cha cha! Ha-ha! Whoa,
cha cha cha cha cha! Ha-ha!
Hate to be on the ret– -Cha!
-Ha-ha! Hate to be on the receiving
end of that tennis ball! Now let’s practi-i-i… -Cha!
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” -Whew.
Ha-ha-ha hoo! This horny bitch boy loves
licking our tennis sweat, from tennis.
Ha-ha! Now do you feel more comfortable
in the sport of tennis? It used to be my most
emotional sport, and the one I was worst at,
but thanks to your pointers… Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! …I’m ready
to take on the gods. [ Siren wails ] Planning on taking
on more gods, Makasu? Oh!
Who is this mortal? Bendy Rivers, my nemesis. Oh! He’s been on my tail
for the past decade, always one step behind me when I defeat gods
and take their treasures. That’s, uh, D-Detective
Bendy Rivers, Interpol Spiritual
Crimes Division. Almost every religion
on the planet has a problem
with you, Makasu. Tell those cucks to get better
at sports, then. I’ve committed no crime, other than cream-pieing
their daughters… with sports. Huh.
We’ll see about that, Makasu. But this time,
I have you surrounded. [ Handcuffs click,
helicopter blades whirring ] [ Siren wailing ] Handcuffs? Three years ago,
Mount Olympus — you mud-wrestle Zeus
and take the ambrosia. -Aw.
-Two years ago, Bethlehem. You bowl against Jesus Christ
and score a perfect game, leaving his wrists gaping
as you snag the stigmata. Uh… These certainly are
wild accusations, Rivers, but don’t I always tell you
to bend it like Beckham instead of bending
your nutty mind around these crazy
conspiracy figures — figures — figures — conspiracy figures —
conspiracy theories? Speaking of soccer, um,
last year, 40 miles
outside of Tibet — -Just drop this shit.
-Hmm. I’m a curious millennial
on a long, worldwide backpacking trip. My story’s not gonna change. Hmm. Where do you keep
the relics, Makasu? I know it’s you. Does Interpol ever seem
to get upset at all the money
you’re wasting… Hmm. …trying to arrest
a little millennial like me? Hmm.
Hmm-hmm. Hmm. [ Fingers clacking ] They tell me the Incas
love tennis, Makasu. I’ve heard that’s the sport
you’re the weakest in… [ Breathing heavily ] …and the sport
you’re most emotional about. Ugh. Back Pocket Flying
Dimension Bear, my racket! Chirp! Back Pocket Flying
Dimension Bear… -Chirp!
-…my racket! Chirp! Oof oof oof oof. I’m going to stop you
this time. Oof oof oof oof. I will find
all those relics. Hooah, hooah, hooah,
hooah, hooah. Hooah, hooah,
hooah, hooah! Hooah! Hooah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Conk! Aah! My head was hit
with the racket! Aah! [ Thud! ] Baa baa.
Baa baa. Quick!
Jump on my llama! Hooah! Now I will cut off
the llama’s legs so we can fly away. Baa. Hi, Sonia my wife,
I’m home. How was your day? How was yours? Oh, no, what’s wrong? Did something bad happen? Cristobal told me
what happened, Ben. So, you lost track of
that Makasu guy again. Is that right? He slippered out? [ Sighs ] I did. Hmm. He tricked me
with a flipper slip flip. And he’s gonna stole another
god’s possession after beating him
in sports. You’re pathetic. I’m doing everything I can
to get him, I swear. Hmm. I’m getting closer, but that guy
is just unpredictable. What happened to you? You are not the detective man
I married anymore. Uh, but — but — but —
but — but — but — but… When I met you, you were known
as the brilliant detective, the brightest in
the Spiritual Crime Department. Every single mythical creature
in your homeland, you stopped them
all in their tracks. You were named The Man
Who Caught The Trauco, the man responsible
for bursting the Caleuche Ghost
Boat drug ring. I still — Then, you got
reassigned by Interpol, relocating our whole family
from Chile to wherever
he might have been, putting your wife
and children’s life on pause, just to get that Makasu. What have you
achieved by now? But there’s still hope!
I’m leading the investigation, and I-I have a hunch
where he’s — You know what? I cannot even digest
this humita I prepared for dinner. It’s getting all cold! Cold. Cold like the ice
in my heart! [ Ice clinking ] Sonia, my almond,
please don’t… Ugh! Okay,
I’ll sleep in the car! Honk, honk, honk, honk! Honk, honk, honk. Sonia! I’m walking to the door
of our home! Look, Sonia,
it’s all right. I like my humitas cold,
actually. I can just add
sugar on top. Oh, oh! Pendejo! Mama, Mama,
can we eat the corn? No!
Don’t eat that! I probably
didn’t cook it right! Mommy is so bad at
cooking corn when she’s mad! Okay, let me see. [ Crying ] I’ll get Makasu,
even if it takes my life. [ Bleating ] Ugh.
Mwah. It’s beautiful
to see you kiss every part
of the animal. I’m sorry.
Hah. I didn’t mean that.
I’ve just — hah — I’ve been challenging gods
to sports for so long, and… no gods have ever helped me. You’re greedy.
You covet. And you’re
ultimately alone. I know this. Hah. But the Incan gods
who took me in back in the late ’60s… Why would you want me
to defeat them? …they’re no longer
themselves. God of Tennis: The Incan people
are a distant memory in some ways. And though stories
and blood remain, humanity evolves genetically
and mimetically. There are new obsessions,
new unifiers. Like Jake Paul,
God of 12-year-olds. Like Jacob Paul. Like porno. [ Sighs ] I do not hold a grudge
against the people who leave us. But without followers, the Incan gods became
more and more aberrant — half themselves,
half fractured reflections, locked in
a sort of quasi-sentience. They need to be freed. And having me defeat them
in tennis is the only way
to free them. I knew you would — But what about… you? Hmm? I haven’t even heard
of the French pantheon, and you said that’s
’cause the French completely abandoned
their faith. Why aren’t you aberrant
and fractured, garbage
clam of confusion? Don’t you think
I ask myself that every goddamn day,
mortal?! By the time “Space Jam”
hit theaters, these Incans
who took me in and cared for me were but shadows
of who they once were! Come…
before Interpol returns. ♪♪ Uhhh, uhhh… Huh? Chirp! I’m nervous. You’ve taught me so much,
God of Tennis, but still, it is my worst sport.
-Yes. The last time I failed,
I was so ashamed. I played basketball once
against the Celtic god Gwydion for the treasure of the Welsh. He was an illusionist,
a magical trickster. And using mind tricks, he made
me think I was playing tennis. And I had such PTSD of tennis —
post-tennis stress disorder — that I had a quinceañera
of sadness in my mind, and I ran away from Wales,
never to return, because of the shame
I have felt. Look at me, here, now. Imagine the tennis ball
is this raclette cheese. Imagine it oozing
through a colander, or as we said in France,
“passoire.” What? This is the last lesson
in tennis I can give you, until maybe I have to teach you
another lesson in tennis. Narrator:
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” We are
in Ekeko’s domain. Ekeko. Smoking is
a very bad habit. But I’m going to eat
all these cigarettes whole, as a good-luck charm
and for the nicotine rush. You never know when you’re
going to need cigarettes, even if they are bad
for your health. Babes look pretty cool
and badass when they smoke
a cigarette, but they can give you
disease like cold sore. God of Tennis: Ekeko represents
bounty and plenty, and since he lost himself, he has let his village
go unkempt, wealth and prosperity sprouting
from the ground like weeds. [ Sniffing ] Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear! Chirp! Smell this dirt! Okay. [ Sniffing ] Uh… Oh, he’s hungry. [ Gagging ] [ Coughing ]
[ Coughs ] Chirp! Can it find Ekeko? Shh!
Let it think! [ Groaning ] Chirp! Chirp! He’s such
a horny bitch boy. He’s a wiggling bitch boy!
He knows! Nyah, nyah!
Wet slop, wet slop! It’s saying “wet slop”
over and over! That means
it knows where to go. Wet slop, wet slop. Quick! We must follow! All right, there they go,
running through the village. Whoa, oh, watch out for
that pile of cigarettes. Uh — Oh, no,
is that a dead end? A dead end? Damn this overgrowth! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Don’t you remember the
horizontal slice you taught me? Hoo! Time to get, uh,
confident Makasu! Whoa!
Power of tennis, tennis! [ Echoing ] Eclipse plant trim
slice horizontal! Ohhh! Whew. Hello! Aah!
A chair? That’s no ordinary chair. Oooh. That’s the Chair Umpire! Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
Ah! Chair Umpire?Most chairs I’ve seen
don’t have faces.This is a different experience.[Bleep] me.
Reality is out the window. This chair has a face. Hey, man, are you
a challenger to Ekeko?I guess I’m gonna have to
tell this chairthat I intend
to challenge Ekeko.What a wild story this is!Hello!Oh, wow!Narrator:
Ekeko — E-K-E-K-O. Ekeko is the Tiwanakan god
of abundance and prosperity. He is often depicted as a small
man carrying bags and baskets loaded with grains,
household objects, and anything
that a person may want or need to live
a prosperous life. One popular legend of Ekeko begins with a young Aymara girl
named Paulita Tintaya. Paulita worked as a servant
in the home of Doña Josefa Ursula
de Rojas Foronda, wife of brigadier Don
Sebastián de Segurola, governor and army commander of La Paz,
Bolivia, and its surroundings. Local indigenous peoples
had recently laid siege to the city of La Paz in an act of rebellion
against Spanish rule. Paulita was madly in love with local servant boy
Isidro Choquehuanca, who was swiftly drafted
into the local army. He left Paulita a small clay
figure of Ekeko as a parting gift. As the siege dragged on,
food and water became scarce. Many of the villagers
went hungry. Some resorted to eating cats
and dogs to avoid starvation. But in the home of Doña Josefa,
Paulita was never hungry. Miraculously, the small
clay figure provided Paulita with enough
dried meat, corn, and biscuits to feed her host
family and survive the siege. When Doña Josefa asked Paulita where she obtained
these previsions, Paulita explained to her that Ekeko had the power
to make food appear when needed. In reality, Isidro had been
risking his life to sneak away from
the local army encampment and bring food to Paulita. Doña Josefa and the commander thanked the small clay idol
for their good fortune. After six long months, the Spanish defeated
the indigenous army, and lifted the siege. Doña Josefa and the commander,
having survived the siege, gave their blessing to the
wedding of Isidro and Paulita and allowed them to stay
in their home as servants. Doña Josefa and the commander wished to commemorate
the generous gifts that Ekeko left them
during the siege. The city of La Paz began to host
an annual celebration for Ekeko on January 24th. Today, Bolivians continue
to travel to La Paz each year to partake
in the Alasitas festival. People buy miniature versions
of goods to pin onto their own Ekekos, in the
hopes that they will receive the real items
in the coming year. Bolivians and other Andean
peoples typically keep these
small Ekeko figurines in a place of honor
within their homes. Modern versions
of the Ekeko idol include a circular opening
in his mouth, in which people can insert
cigarettes for his pleasure. The legend of Ekeko is truly
a testament to the importance
of persevering and maintaining hope
in otherwise hopeless times. Makasu: Huh?! This is Ekeko. In the time that he does
not need to present himself
to society, he remains a small wooden
miniature, when nobody — when he —
when no one’s looking at him. And look at his gaping
whore mouth! I’m guessing it means
he wants a taste. He did just eat
all those cigarettes, just a few minutes ago. Looks like they will come
in handy to summon Ekeko! [ Gagging ] [ Coughs ] [ Gagging continues ] ♪♪ [ Shuddering ] [ Ekeko clears throat ] Who are you? Why are you here? To challenge you
to tennis, Ekeko! Hah, tennis?
Tennis! Ha-ha-ha! Mr. Brown
Doo-Doo Eyes. This day
is truly a gift, then! Hah!
Ha-hee-hee! Hah! There are four rules
in tennis. One of them is love. And if you get that one,
then it’s a game, set, match. Now sir! Oh, serve.
Now serve! Whew. You seem rather confident
in our match, Ekeko.Hopefully, he doesn’t know
tennis is my rustiest sportand it makes me emotional.Confident?
Why is that? You don’t seem to be
holding a racket. Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! He doesn’t have a racket,
he says. Do I have gifts for you — gifts of things
you haven’t even seen yet. Heh-heh-heh heh heh.
Oh! Hyah! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Whoa-whoa-whoa-ho-ho! What?! Love-15! Damn, I thought
he had no rackets. Turns out, his rackets
were all in his baskets. What do I do? I didn’t expect him to have
baskets full of rackets. With this magic of baskets
and rackets, I doubt I can hack it. But, wait, have I cracked it? A poem by me, right now. Nice trick, Ekeko. But I believe you left
an opening in your weak spot. Precise serve dagger! Yes! Love-30!I should have known his bags
of grainwere actually full
of tennis balls.He has thought of everything.Falling victim to my Pit of
Infinite Tennis Balls bag! What a great gift. Game point! Hey, poopy-eyes,
why don’t you send your little Back Pocket
Dimension Flying Bear my way while —
hee-hee-hee-hee — you take a little breather. I’ve got
a little gift for you. Chirp!What does he have
planned now?He’s already at game point.Huh?
-Chirp! Ekeko, using
your miniature gifts to taunt your challenger! What a low blow! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.Wait a second.Wait a second!Ekeko: [ To himself ]Huh?
What’s this loser doing?Oh, Ekeko? Please come over here
to the net. Come over here, actually. Oh, uh… Thank you for this
generous gift, and the gift
of a competition with you. I know you intend this to be
an omen of my loss, a miniature version
of a true gift you want me to manifest —
that gift being… both: A T-shirt that reads
“Big tennis loser.” Heh-heh-heh.
You got it! I’m not trying to be
mean, really. It’s just fun to talk shit
when you’re winning at your favorite sport,
which mine is tennis. Ha-ha-ha,
Ekeko, I get it. I always do talk shit. I always do
talk shit at times. Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha! God of Tennis:
They’re laughing together?What if I said
I had a gift for you? Oooh! A counter-gift.
Ha! You’re trying to trick me,
aren’t you? Force me to manifest
this counter-gift — a prophetic vision of me wearing the
“Big tennis loser” shirt so that
you are destined to win. I have to admit,
not a terrible idea. Thank you
for saying… Uhhh. …that. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
But you forget, a counter-gift
goes both ways. And we could go
back and forth forever with this wiping off
this little painted face, changing the face, making this
cigarette man me and you and whatever
counter-counter-gifts we do forever… until you give up like
the big tennis loser you are. Uhhh, um… You’re right, but you’re
missing the true secret of this counter-gift. Secret?! Chirp! In his hand, this cigarette version
of you is holding… Another miniature! Wearing another “big tennis
loser” T-shirt. And what’s in his hand? Oh!
An even smaller miniature… Both: Wearing an even
smaller T-shirt! Uh, uh, uh, uh… Continuing forever,
uhhhh… An infinite amount
of miniatures, a fractal rift of gifts
that when your godly instinct to fulfill this gift
even begins to comprehend the monumental depth
of this counter-gift, your ability to develop
a counter-counter-gift will be halted by
your conflicting desires.A counter-gift
infinite-fractal tactic?What an idea that makes perfect
sense the whole time!No!
Ha-ha-ha-ha! No-o-o! I-I can’t!
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee. Must fulfill every… every…
miniature! Ugh, ughhh! Oh, oh, ugh, ugh! Uh, uh, uh, ugh! Um, um,
your manipulative gifts have sapped me
of my power! Hah!
♪ Doo doo doo-doo-doo ♪ Hah! Then we are finally
on equal footing, god. My serve, Ekeko. Narrator:
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep
that thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ Makasu know how to get it ♪
-♪ Know how to get it ♪ -♪ Ekeko can’t even kick it ♪
-♪ Can’t even kick it ♪ ♪ Everybody know who to go ♪ ♪ I put on my clothes,
and I go for the go ♪ ♪ You don’t wanna see me
on court ♪ ♪ See me on court ♪ ♪ I keep that thang
in my shorts ♪ ♪ Thang in my shorts ♪ ♪ Look at the drip,
come take a sip ♪ ♪ I got that Continental grip ♪
-♪ Continental grip ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, serve, swag ♪ ♪ Continental grip ♪ ♪ Serve, swag,
Continental grip ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ Yeah, swing, hit, ace ♪ ♪ I’m out there
with all the grace ♪ ♪ Makasu takin’ no breaks ♪ ♪ They can’t keep up
with the pace ♪ ♪ When I go in, I go deep ♪
-♪ Deep, deep ♪ ♪ Check out my reach,
swing ♪ ♪ I don’t even need
no doubles ♪ ♪ Me all alone,
you still in trouble ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪ I’m-a always keep that
thang on me ♪ ♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Whoa!
Oh! Holy dang, I went out
on a limb there. You took what I taught you
about tennis and improvised to make it
something even greater. I guess your sport
infamy truly is earned. You ever doubted it? Woo-oo-oof! Flying Bear! Chirp! You’re a good Back Pocket
Dimension Bear slave. Now give me kisses
because I’ve told you to. Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Ha-ha-ha-ha! God of Tennis:Though he is
alone and a thiefand also selfish, overly
emotional, and obsessive…Chirp! Ooh!…he does have a little Back
Pocket Dimension Flying Bearwho truly is a loyal
and obedient servant.Great job, young man. Get used to saying that,
Chair Umpire, ’cause I’m gonna keep on
winning these tennis. Hey!
That’s my ass seat! Fly with me! This may be your most difficult
challenge yet, Makasu. Whoa! Are you saying
I’m mentally challenged? You’re truly the most infamous
god-relic-thief sportsman in the entire world. But be careful. Defeating these gods
will exact a heavier toll than you’re used to. Huh? When Ekeko dissolved, his fading life force
mixed with yours. Makasu: [ To himself ]
Mix? Like Mixico?Like a fiesta cheese blend?I don’t know
why it happened. It’s not a normal part of
tennis, doing a dissolve mix. And I’m sure
it’s not a normal part of most
your sports things. No, it’s not.
I’m very confused! Me too, young man. But I sensed a little bit
of Ekeko is within you. I’m not sure if anything
noticeable will happen, but slowly parts of these gods
will become one with you, and I’m worried about you
keeping ahold of yourself. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Shouldn’t be — Oh-oh-oh! Was that laughter —
Ekeko’s laughter? Makasu! I used Ekeko’s bounty to make
a fabulous crepe meal! Wait! If you waste your life
wondering if your laughter is your own or the laugh of
an Incan god you’ve absorbed after defeating him
in tennis — ahem —
are you truly living? Theseus’ ship. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ahhh. If you continuously fix a boat
with new wood until it’s all been
replaced, is it the same boat
it once was? Is a boat
with the same design, made of the same pieces
discarded from the older ship during repair
of the original ship, is that that same ship? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Is it the same boat
it once was? It’s — Aw.
I sure love boats. Is a boat
with the same design, made of the pieces discarded
from the older boat, the same boat that it knew
that it could’ve been one time when it was being built
by the guy that was building the boat? I can’t keep me unless I embrace the me
I might also become. Forget everything you ever
knew about boats, okay? This tennis is deadly. Trust no one. Not even my Back Pocket
Dimension Flying Bear? ♪♪ Hey, I’m the Chair Umpire
from the anime you’re watching, and I think it’s important
for you to learn, uh, a couple pointers
’bout tennis. Horizontal bobbing can really
do damage on your neck, if you know what I mean. Come with me. I’ve got, uh, important shots
that you’ll need to understand, uh, and view,
to further appreciate the volleys
that we’ll be appreciating and seeing in Makasu’s
g-greatest adventure tonight. This one’s called… This one’s called… This one’s called… Aah! Some people choose to play
tennis on their own, fashioning a small ball thrower
at the other side of the court. This works with automation
and gas. This one’s called… Notice the thwack. Wow! Look at that tennis ball soar. Truly like a bird of paradise. It does bong. This is why tennis. Here’s some disgusting
questions. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Pop! ] Tennis. Narrator:
Fresh from his defeat of Ekeko, Makasu is led
by the God of Tennis to their next opponent,
the Water Goddess Mama Qucha. But can Makasu resist
the temptation to eat
the Lake Titicaca tricky koan. Tune in next week
for “Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu,” Chapter 2, “Second Set.” ♪♪ ♪♪ Makasu is the best sportsman
of all time, except when it comes
to tennis! And now Makasu has to become
the best tennis sportsman ever! Makasu is ready for action
with his action racket! I have emotional memories
about rackets! And what’s that in his
Back Pocket Dimension pocket? Why, it’s Flying Bear! I’m the God of Tennis,
here to monologue! Never let exposition
of playtime go unheard again, with the God of Tennis
and his monologging action!It is I, the God of Tennis.As the God of Tennis, I know
three things about tennis.One, the ball is green.Two, if you hit the ball with
a racket, you can win points.Three, if you win
enough points,you’ll win
the entire game of tennis.Tennis is a racket sportthat can be played individually
against single players.Each player has a racket.Narrator:
Why, it’s Bendy Rivers, now with extra
face-shaming action to help deal with all
his horrible attempts at life. I failed again.
I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right. My wife hates me. It’s Chair Umpire! It’s a chair, who’s also,
in addition, an umpire! Arr, I’m a chair! With special chair attributes,
imagine the possibilities. I guess I could…
sit on it? Chair Umpire! You’ll never defeat me
with my infinite gifts in my baskets, Makasu. Will the infinite gifts
inside of Ekeko’s many, many baskets spell the end
of Makasu’s journey to be the best sportsman? Anything is possible with
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” play-action toys. [ Laughing ] [ Chirping ] Ha-ha, ha ha. Whoa. Ha-ha, ha-ha. Who knew on our journey
that we would go to the beach? Yeah. Sand! Yes! It is on our way to
our next challenger, who was found
deep in the sea. Oh, wow. Makasu:Sounds a little spooky
to me.♪♪ Let me go
to the cocktail lounge. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Um,
three pisco sours. That’s 30 Sol. Okay. Sol is the money
of Peru. Uh, oh, okay.
Uh, just give me a second. I gotta find it
in my God purse. Okay, here’s our drinks! Pisco sours,
the national drink of Peru! Wow, native flavors! God of Tennis, I’m making
an ass out of the sand. It’s called the sand ass. Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp
chirp chirp. Oh, yeah, that’s right.
I’m using lotion to tan
my ass dark brown. So when I can guess
in the sand, it’s my ass or the sand ass
making fun in this adventure! Ohh. Uh… Huh? I’m peeing in the water.
[ Sighs ]Ohh.
He’s peeing.Chirp. Ha ha ha! Your flying bear
wants to drink my pee water. I hope we have lots of time
during this journey to do friend activities
like this one. You better not be doing this.
Seriously? Missing your son’s
8th grade graduation ceremony? What? Don’t you want me
to catch this guy? A real husband would be able
to balance familyandhis job. Real husband? I — I hate
these gender roles. Why don’tyouget a job? I do have a job. I make more money than you
and still have to come home and put in emotional labor
for your failures and your needs for your goofy
career I once found charming. Is this why we don’t do sex
anymore? Yep! That’s why we don’t
do sex anymore. Ha ha ha!
Now I’m burying myself! Sweet walnut, hold on,
he’s entering my trap! But your son! [ Beep ] Bendy Rivers: Buried in the sand
is an elaborate bubble-making mechanism
that will trap him in the sky! Ha ha ha ha! ♪♪ Oh, my God!
I’ve been trapped! [ Slurps ] [ Swallows ] Ahh. Pretty good pisco sour. I’m not, like,
a big booze drinker. I don’t really drink
to get drunk. I mostly drink, uh,
just to fit in. I don’t really hang out
with people. I feel fat now. I’m gonna put
my clothes back on. [ Waves crashing ] Chirp! Mm, mm! Chirp, mm, chirp,
chirp, mm, mm, chirp! Mm, mm, chirp, chirp! Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear! This bubble trouble might be how
our adventure comes to an end! I’ve got you now! You, uh — y-you can’t
do any escaping now!Wow, this [bleep] idiot
sure wants to capture me.Uh… Chirp, chirp,
chirp, uh-huh. You disgusting little bitch boy,
whoo! You’re right, though. You could do a handcuff sex
role-play using those tools. BDSM. BDSM.
B-B-B-B-BD– Makasu, you are under
INTERPOL spiritual arrest for the injury of
multiple deities as well as the theft
of many sacred relics and mythological items!I can’t let him catch me
and learnabout my back-pocket dimension.
Dang.Relics that include Khanda,
the Buddhist and Hindu sword that cuts through ignorance
with wisdom, Nábrók, the Icelandic
death underpants made from dead man’s skin
and which is capable of producing
an endless supply of money, some penis statue from somewhere
I don’t even know that one. I feel like people
from religions and all over the world
make big penis statues, right? I-I don’t know the significance
of the penis statue. [ Helicopter blades whirring ] As well asSkidbladnir,the best
of all the Viking Ships. Skidbladnir?!Winky face!Quick, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. Chirp? Go into my back pocket dimension
and grab meSkidbladnir!Hmm. Chirp! Hmm, hmm.
Ahh.Skidbladnir?!Ahh! Wait, please! It’s my 8th grader’s graduation
today and — Gust Lob Force Stroke! Aaaahhhh! Aaahhhh! Aaahhhh! ♪♪ [ Waves crashing ] Ooh. Ooh. It’s a good thing
you popped his bubble! Blah, blah, blah.
Who cares? Sonia, I’ve got some
not so great news. Oh, my God! He used his magical
flying Viking boat to destroy my bubble trap
and — Hold on. Your son is here.
He has something to say. Dad, I hate you for missing
my 8th grade graduation. Think about it. Hmm. Come. We must tube
with these inner tubes to continue
on our journey. Inner tube — kind of
like my colon! Actually, the colon
is a punctuation mark used to precede
a list of items — marbles, wooden floor,
marble shooters, gambling hens. This is what you would need in a
list of marbles, battles, colon. Sometimes, God of Tennis,
you come off like
you’re full of shit. He doesn’t trust me,
but why? Just like my colon!
Ha ha ha ha! Man. Bitch, let’s go tubing. ♪♪ [ Both slurping ] But also, the colon is actually
a name for the large intestine, or large bowel,
and poop travels through that. That’s what I meant earlier
by tube and colon. Do you get that,
God of Tennis? I’m always thrown off
by homophones. ♪♪ [ Dialing ] It’s just, like,
personally offensive to me because, like, you haven’t cast
me in anything that you’ve done. No, it’s like, come in here
and be this super gay phone. Now, this is some homophobic
word play. ♪♪ It’s like not — I prefer playing
with my ass! You think you’re so funny because you’re just going
to make this weird pun. Hey, there, guys.
It’s me, Maxime Simonet. I’m the creator of the animation
story you’re watching, and I just wanted to
talk to you guys about what I like to do
comedically, which sometimes
is justified puns. Homophone, as we’ve seen, is this little effeminate phone
is what I wrote in the script. But, you know,
clearly, it’s a gay phone, and I know it’s not
the most politically correct, but I thought, like, putting —
Taking the word homophone and then making
a homosexual phone was kind of a fantastical
little way of just putting things together,
making a little funny world to — You know, imagination
is really important. And, in fact, the whole title
of this piece, Gemmusetto Machu Picchu:
“Game Set Match” translated into Japanese
is actually, like, from what I can tell on Google
Translate, is Gemmusetto Machu. And Machu Picchu,
of course, the Incan landmark. Tennis —
game, set, match. This project is just justifying
all those three puzzle pieces
together. The title came first. I had a friend who told me,
“Oh, Max, where do you get off
making a project that’s using, like,
a Japanese art style, the culture of South America?” that no — in now way
belongs to me or represents me. And tennis
I don’t even know about. I just want to say, like, I don’t think this is like
the movie “Mulan,” where I’m, like, showing
what I think China is like. You know, this isn’t a real
representation of anything. It’s kind of just a collage,
artistic little fantasy world we can get indulged in,
and it’s my epic piece. It’s a life-defining
creative piece of mine, and, in the end, I think
I’m going to get rid of the joke with the gay phone that we just had
with the gay phone. Shit, I’m drooling again. [ Slurps ] See, a lot of this
is making sense now to me because the Lake
Titicaca Tricky Colon, I always wondering why
isn’t it shaped like two dots but it’s named after
the colon in the body. The Trickery Colon? Yes, a lake-dwelling
underwater monster that looks like
a big fleshy tube. A deadly beast. Whoa! The tricky colon! Oh, my God! ♪♪ God of Tennis,
I’m getting queasy! [ Gags ] [ Belches ] There, there.
Surely it’s getting tired. Youch!
I’m being squished! Please use your tennis magic to zap us out of here
to someplace. My powers are useless at sea for
reasons too arbitrary to name. Only a sea deity
can help us now, and I doubt Mama Cocha
is on our side, seeing as she’s most likely
heard a word of Ekeko’s doe-fuh. That’s it!
We need Diktynna! Diktynna? Cretan Goddess of Nets! Ancient fisher boys,
sailors, and fisher boys drew from her power. You’re not friends
with the nets god lady? Gods don’t just all hang out
as friends, you know. Well, lucky for us,
when I stormed the Greek Isles and defeated all of their gods
in the game of foosball, the table sport,
I managed to concentrate all of Diktynna’s essence
into this beaker! [ Groans ] I summon the spirit
of Diktynna! [ Echoing ]
Pop inside me, Dikky T’s! I am your vessel! ♪♪ Aah! Oh! God of Tenni-i-i-i-i-i… Makasu-u-u-u-u! …i-i-s! [ Groans ] [ Groaning ] [ Sighs ] Can you believe what I just did?
How I transformed? That was like Tetsuo
from “Akira” the film. Yeah, whatever, babe. Poor creature. Tricky Colon is far afield
from its freshwater home. Whoa!
Tastes like meringue! Like sugary egg whites. Whoa! Like sweet sperm.
Whoa! Makasu, stop that! You will anger Mama Cocha
even more! Hmm. Five major rivers
empty into Titicaca. None of them
reach the sea. This means Tricky Colon
emerged from the waters, scrambled down the Andes,
crossed highways and railroads, braved the Thicket
of Hard Plastic Things, all to battle us. There are forces that —
Makasu! I told you
not to eat the colon. Why do you always
eat the colon? Mmm. Me and you
are a team, tummy. Makasu, as I feared,
you have angered Mama Cocha. We need to go below deck. I ate the entire tricky colon,
and I feel sick. So, actually, I feel like
I need to sit down more. Okay? Makasu. Sorry. Makasu. Okay? Makasu! Whoa!
Whoa whoa! Whoa!
Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa! Ooh-hoo! Makasu! [ Groaning ] My word, the tricky colon is expanding
from his insides! Woop. Woop.
Woop. Woop. Mmm. The beast has completely filled
most of his cavities. He’s gonna — Whoa! [ Groaning ] Makasu, you must purge! Purge! No! Don’t shake your head!
You must purge! Chirp. Hmm, chirp.
Chirp! Ugh, ugh, ugh. Ugh! [ Coin jingles ] Boom. [ Regurgitating ] [ Laughs ] I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Both: We’ve got us. ♪ There’s no other way to say ♪ ♪ I’d hold you till
the end of days ♪ ♪ When rights are wrong ♪ ♪ And songs are called ♪ ♪ We’ll spin and hold ♪ Oh, wow.
I’m dying. I’m on the ground now,
trying to flop. Oh, and I — I can’t swim… …because I’m on the ground. Oh, dang! What?
There’s a hole in this water! This is terrible! Yeah, same here. Sure is a shitty time
to be one of us fish. Shoot. Guys, me, too! Shoot! ♪♪ All: ♪ We are dead fish
on the ground ♪ ♪ We’ve come out the water,
and now we’re drowned ♪ Shoot! Me, too, guys. I guess…this is where….
my next challenge is…going to be. Hello! ♪♪ Aah! It is me again,
your favorite chair umpire, The Chair Umpire! Chair Umpire? Aah! Where is Mama Cocha?
She brought us down here, nearly killing Makasu
in the process! Well, I’m gonna summon
the tennis court now! [ Chanting ] ♪♪Oh, wow! Chair Umpire is
very talented, for a chair![ Chants ] Mama Cocha! Hi! Hmm. ♪♪ Mama Cocha — M.A.M.A. C.O.C.H.A. or M.A.M.A. Q.U.C.H.A. In the northern stretches
of the Republic of Peru, the Inca people
worshipped many gods that shared common functions across different regions
of the civilization. At a certain point, however,
they reached an agreement and designated a name
for each god. In this unification process, Mama Cocha was created
from all the deities who represented
various aspects of water. She’s said to be the wife
of Viracocha, who was the creator deity and once the most important god
in the Inca pantheon before he was demoted,
in a way, by emperor Pachacuti, who declared Viracocha
and Mama Cocha’s son, Inti, the Sun God,
was the most important. Representing a primary element, Mama Cocha was
a very important goddess, especially venerated
along coastal areas in Peru by fishermen. She was said to calm the water
and create opportunities for the best fishing conditions
by averting storms, leading to her veneration as a protector
of fisherman and sailors. In the cases
of aquatic disasters, she was said to offer relief. If a tsunami or a storm
or flood were to hurt
a group of people, Mama Cocha cared for them
and helped them recover. Some regions of the empire
believed that she was the goddess
for all bodies of water — rivers, lakes,
even water courses and reservoirs
that were human-made. The beliefs surrounding
Mama Cocha and other water-related deities suggest that the Incans
understood the basics of the hydrological cycle. They understood that the rain
came from already present bodies of water and that the sea
fueled the rain, which would then fall
all over the ground. Water being scarce
in the Andes mountains required the Incans
and Pre-Inca civilizations to construct reservoirs
and canals for irrigation. Transporting water from springs and places that experienced
higher volumes of rain to areas with low rainfall in order to irrigate the soil
and maintain livestock was vital to the preservation
of their people. The Spanish colonists
who conquered the Inca noted that they had many
complex canals and aqueducts to bring water
from high elevation areas to lower,
agricultural settlements. The sanctity of water and
its connection to the spiritual shows that the Inca understood
the ecological factors that sustain and create life. Without rain,
they have no working farms. Without Mama Cocha calming
the sea, they have no fish. Through military might,
they may have conquered the areas around the Andes, but with water,
they sustain themselves. ♪♪ [ Growling ] I felt your foreign stink
on my sea the minute your dirty feet
dipped in. You got a problem
with my feet smells? No! [ Choking ] I’ve got a problem with
you fishing beasts
without my blessing! Mama Cocha, the Tricky Colon
attacked us first! And it doesn’t even
belong in these waters! Imposter!
Imposter! The Tricky Colon was suffering
at your hands! What?
Have you been summoning all manner of creatures
into the sea? My babies!
They must be here and ready! [ Screeches ] Even indulging your challenge
to me has killed
these poor babies. Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies!
Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! But you will not survive a
tennis match with me, intruder! Hmm, Hmm! The water here will drown you in
the sorrow of my sea children! Hmph! ♪♪ I am the water. And it is me! You’re full of me! And it is all the same, from liquid
lining your insides to the craters
and puddles on land. And you dare to tell me
what my children, what the Tricky Colon,
where he should live? You don’t know water! Hmm. [ Water dripping ] I’m very wet now
and very disappointed. You are even madder
than Ekeko was. My friends, my new family –
broken. Broken? ♪♪A close-up sneer?
What could she be planning?♪♪ Hyah! [ Buzzer sounds ] Huh? 15-love. Huh? Damn it! Makasu — her balls
are made of pure water, and your racket doesn’t have
the power to return her serves! That makes no sense okay, man?
What — Damn it! Okay, that makes no sense.
All right? Hello? I don’t understand
what you’re saying. Just serve the ball again. You can’t trick me,
I got tennis. Hee-hee. [ Grunts ] Hyah! What? 30-love! But how the hell did this
just do it? But how? I literally just told you
what’s happening. I know, but it —
You know, I’ve just — I don’t know, I’ve seen
a lot of crazy stuff, okay? God of Tennis, but water balls
going through rackets? That’s not regulation, man. Eeh, eeh, ahh. All these, you know, what? What is happening?
Time out! Aah! Could I go to the break room
and get a cold drink? [ Slurping ] [ Swallows ] Mmm. ♪♪ Ah. ♪♪ All right, Mama Cocha.
I’m ready for your serve now. You sure? [ Laughs ] You’re probably gonna lose. God of Tennis:
Makasu looks a little different
after he’s spent the timein the break room
getting a cold drink.What is he up to?30-love was the score
of points, was it not? 30-love, intruder. Why don’t you test
that theory of yours, where you win? Errr! ♪♪ Ah, tennis hit! Huh? [ Buzzer sounds ] 30-15! How did you — Yeah! Huah! Ugh. Ugh, yeah, ugh, huah. Simple — In the break room, I
wasn’t just drinking cold drink. I was doing way more,
Mama Coach! I was also preparing my racket! I couldn’t return any ball that just goes
through the racket’s mesh. I had to figure out how to
fill up those little holes! So I used ice cubes from
the ice maker in the freezer. Ice cubes, little 3-dimensional
squares of frozen water fitting perfectly into the holes
of the racket’s mesh. But that’s not all. There was a secret to putting
my ice cubes in the racket.Hmm! That’s right.He couldn’t just leave
the cubes in his racket.He would’ve had to
keep the racketcompletely vertical
to hold them in there.Any rotational movement
would have had themfalling out on the ground.So, I went with my gut. Makasu, you must purge!
Purge! Whuuu whu whuu
whuuu whaauh! No! Don’t shake your head!
You must purge! I couldn’t purge easily then,
no, not until my Back Pocket
Dimension Flying Bear went into my throat
and triggered my gag reflex. But since then, I have not
been able to stop feeling like
I’ve got to puke! Whuuh! So I covered up the racket
with vomited-up pisco sours and then left it in the freezer
to hold the ice cubes in. And that’s why I was gone
for a whole hour and 23 minutes. A whole hour and 16 minutes. That’s why I was gone so long. But now it holds
all the ice cubes in. Neat trick, huh? Yes! Ice Cube glistening Peruvian racket trick technique
cocktail vomit! Yes! Solid enough to hit balls
of water back! Aah,
you conniving foreigner! [ Growls ] My babies! Slap! Bone-zo! Slap that animal! Aah! [ Gurgling ] Blech, now, this makes me — Chyron: Game, set, match. ♪♪ [ Siren wailing ] ♪♪ The Kali Yuga is, like,
so totally bogus, but I guess I’ll like, amenitize
the eschaton, whatever. Oh, thanks PopSoppler
for the extra bits. Cutie — he says,
“Gangroin, you’re gorgeous. Please amenitize
my pleasure fruit.” That’s very cute. They call me
the prince of trouble.
I’m the prince of trouble. Police Scanner:
A thick demon is spoiling
the Possinop Metrop’. We need an &658.3
on the square eunuch. Roger, dodger. We got a trip six
on the upper-up-side. Heading over now. I like it when you talk
like a cop. The wind is in my face.
Ugh! We’re close. I feel the moist. I’m chewin’
on some collagen. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh! [ Feedback ] Pardon me, miss.
Hello? [ Clears throat ] Pwease, mommy,
respond uwu. All right, girls and boys. I’m going to equip
male nipple nipple. Computer:
Male nipple activating. ♪♪ My, my, you little freaks
love male nipple nipple today. Oh, what’s this? MopKlopperDoppo tips
with the message, “You’re the ray of light
in my life.” Male nipple throb town. Aah! No! I, uh — ugh! Oh, you stinker,
you friggin’ stinker. I am gonna ring you up
like mayonnaise, shawty. Stop tamperin’
with evidence! Oh! Aah! No! No! You’re a loose
floppabopbot. Of course you’d resort
to this garbage. Aah! Keep singing your ceiling’s
praises, honey. I’m not moving!
Please! In regards to
the OverChurch’s ordinance, Sunlight-D is not to be given
without a prescription. Online solicitation
of the seduced to widen their light dosage
is against the law. And who got a nonorganic
like you a cache of D anyways? Hold up, she — Aah! What the…? Gangrene:
Whoever thought a city in the
Pacific Ocean was a good idea?You’d figure if anyone had
they’d get that.But maybe the lens
of that video gameis more of
an anti-objectivist stanceabout the dangers
of no regulationand not about the fatal truth.Our utopia,
our scientific haven,a world for organics
and nonorganicswho lived outside
conventional lines,it lacked what one
could only describe,metaphorically, as hope, light.The sea darkness made man sick.And the OverChurch
controlled the lightand…Uh… This sucks. I vow to never use
my throat again in this whole journey
for anything. Oh. What is this landmark? This world,
the Under Andes, is cosmically linked
with the overworld of mortals. It is an in-between state
taking us to the lower Ukhu Pacha. Cool. But what is this landmark!? The Amaru, a beast said
to live underground, rips through
the Under Andes as it finds its way to its
subterranean home in your world. But what is this landmark? The Amaru — But what is this landmark? The gateway of the sun. You can say it’s
an interplanetary sister of the same monument
found in Bolivia. Wow, the Under Andes are
a sort of mirror South America. Hmm, that’s very funny. Cool. But what is this — It’s crazy how much the space
in between space matters. Truly more than
meets the eyes. Ha ha ha.
You got that from Megaman. Megam– no, no,
Megaman is the blue guy. I mean the one
with the cars, the Japanese Sex Cars —
Japanese sex — ah, Japanese sex cars. Japanese sex vehic– As we go forth,
time and space are going to make
less and less sense, in the traditional ways
you’re used to. Autobang.
Something like automobiles. Transforming
automobile friends? Are you even listening to me,
Makasu? Mama Cocha almost ripped you
to shreds in the water vortex and then tricked you
with liquid tennis balls! I’m just trying to prepare you
because I care. Bitch, I know you care.
Listen, bitch. The one thing I’ve learned
from my career as doing what I do, which is
playing against gods in sports, is that you can’t
expect anything. This status quo of yours
of fantastical nonsense underneath South America
may be all hoodie doodie to you, but you wouldn’t survive
a goose-[bleep] minute as a mortal. You know I’ve been through
tough times, you know this. You know it, that I have, but there’s also things
you don’t know. And sure, Mama Cocha’s
water balls might have freaked me out
for a second and I had a little
breakdown there, but at least I know from all
the wild, wild worlds and worlds in between worlds
and all the things out there that I’m supposed
to be thrown off. If I’m gonna do this,
I’m going to be thrown off. I am listening, God of Tennis,
but I’ll figure it out. I always do. Ah, God. Water?! Don’t worry about me,
please.His confidence in the face
of all of this,the balancing of his fears,
conquering sad memoriesand sticking to
what he started,making his decision
to take this on,despite everything that told
him he wasn’t good enough
at tennis,despite the memories
of his grandfather……Pencil eraser there,
like some — do we have any,
like, little nubs?…he is a truly force
to be afraid of.Bleat! Spit, spit, bleat! Chirp! Okay, your new challenger
is Urcuchillay! This guy! Urcuchillay. U.R.C.U.C.H.I.L.L.A.Y. Urcuchillay was the tutelary
deity of Inca herders and was believed to be a llama
who watched over all animals. He was seen to be essential
for the well-being and reproduction of their herds. The Inca believed constellations were special patrons of certain
animals or activities, and thus, stellar deities
were a commonly-held belief. Urcuchillay
was the constellation western astronomers know
as Lyra. Ancient Egyptians would
represent the constellation
as a vulture and, in India,
as an eagle or a vulture. Seeing as the Inca had no cows,
sheep, chickens, or goats, their only domesticated animals
were alpacas, guinea pigs, and llamas. Llamas were especially
important, as they provided clothing, food, and were also
their beasts of burden. Additionally, they were
sacrificed in very large numbers as tribute to the gods. The llama was the most popular
Andean camelid in stories and rituals due to its extensive presence
across the Andes and lower areas compared to the alpaca,
guanaco, and vicuña. It also was the only camelid
useful as a work animal or to carry heavy loads
and a source of edible meat, as well as having manure
that served as fertilizer. Despite being replaced over time
by cows and donkeys for meat
and transport respectively, the llama has continued to be
used for long trips in the Andes and is a symbol
of Peruvian identity. It made it possible to take fish
from the ocean up to emperors higher
in the mountains. The llama was so vital
to the Inca, one of the most important
dark cloud constellations of their culture
was the yacana, the llama. It rises above Cuzco,
the capital city, in November
and consists of two llamas, a mother and a baby
suckling at her breast. One of the eyes of the mother
llama is Alpha Centauri, the third brightest star
in the night sky. And the other is Beta Centauri. Two bright star systems
among the dark cloud constellation body
of the mother llama. Llamas mate with the female
in a lying-down position, called a kush position. They also mate
for up to 45 minutes. The females
are induced ovulators, which is when an animal ovulates
due to external stimuli during or just prior to mating. The female doesn’t produce
eggs cyclically, rather, does so when mated with and is usually fertilized
on the first try. Being such a profoundly
important beast of burden and cultural icon, it’s no wonder
there was reverence to a deity that was said to ensure
the safety and propagation of a llama herd. Urcuchillay. ♪♪ Bleat. Spit. Bleat, spit, spit, spit, bleat,
spit on the ground. Man, I’m used to
gods hating me, but this Urcuchillay guy
seems real pissed! Yes. I didn’t know him well,
and he was always weird, and he just talks like that. Bleat, spit, bleat, spit,
spit, spit, bleat! Bleat! Quick! Jump on my llama! Huaah! Now I will cut off the llama’s
legs so we can fly away. ♪♪ ♪♪ Bleat, bleat, bleat, spit, spit, bleat, spit. Bleat, spit, spit, bleat. Bleat, bleat, bleat. Slap that animal! ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Bleat, bleat, bleat,
spit, spit, bleat. Bleat, spit. Bleat, bleat, spit, bleat, spit. Bleat, spit, spit, spit,
bleat, bleat, bleat. Bleat, spit,
bleat, bleat, bleat, spit. Spit, bleat, bleat,
spit, spit, spit, bleat. Uh…spit, bleat. Spit, spit, spit, spit, bleat. Bleat, spit, spit,
bleat, bleat, spit, spit. You know what? I’m pretty
sure I don’t understand
Llama language from this. Chirp, chirp, chirp. [ Laughter ] Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.
Oh, boy. You’re so right about
how much of an idiot this llama guy
sounds like… Chirp! Chirp, chirp. …when —
when he’s saying this. Chirp. I’ve never heard someone
deconstruct every aspect of how much of an idiot
Urcuchillay the llama herd god sounds like when he talks, but your little Back Pocket
Dimension Flying Bear servant sure has some biting insights.
[ Chuckles ] [ Snorts ]
Bleat, bleat. Hmm. ♪♪ Bleat. Wow. Got to… jump! Jump! Ha ha, jumping! [ Coughing ] I guess
he’s ready to challe– I’m raw
because I puked a lot. And also, I pulled cigarettes
out of my stomach. [ Gagging ] Yeah! Wait! Who knows what he’s got up
those weird footy hoofies? True, his two strange feet
are weird. ♪ Damn, what? ♪ ♪ Oh, my God ♪ ♪ Lord help us ♪ ♪ Oh, my God ♪ ♪ Okay, oh, my God ♪ ♪ Yeah, praise our lord ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Help, yeah, fault, help ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪ ♪ I pull up
with my tennis racket ♪ ♪ I make that racket, yeah ♪ ♪ Pull up in that muh ♪ ♪ I got that pack, yeah ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna know ♪ ♪ I did it, now ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna know ♪ ♪ I did it, now ♪ ♪ Venus, Serena, I got my penis
on my necklace ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪ ♪ Everybody know ♪ ♪ Here we go ♪ ♪ Lean stroke ♪ ♪ Yeah, lean stroke ♪ ♪ Yeah, lean stroke ♪ ♪ Yeah, lean stroke ♪ ♪ Ooh, yeah, lean stroke ♪ ♪ Cool, lean stroke ♪ ♪ Lean stoke, yeah ♪ ♪ Hit it with that ♪ ♪ I need it, unh ♪ ♪ I need that thang like my… ♪ ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪ Meow, meow ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] [ Indistinct singing ] [ Rumbling, monkey hooting ] [ Indistinct singing ] ♪ Stroke, lean, hit, what? ♪ ♪ Stroke, lean, hit, what? ♪ ♪ Damn ♪ ♪ Oh, my God ♪ ♪ Lord help us ♪ ♪ Oh, my God, okay ♪ ♪ Oh, my God, praise our lord ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Help, yeah, fault,
help, help, yeah, fault ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪ Lean stroke, unh ♪ ♪ Lean stroke ♪ ♪ Back and fault,
back and fault ♪ ♪ I pull up
with my tennis racket ♪ ♪ I make that racket, yeah ♪ ♪ Pull up in that muh ♪ ♪ I got that pack, yeah ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna know ♪ ♪ I did it, now ♪ ♪ Everybody wanna know ♪ ♪ I did it, now ♪ ♪ Venus, Serena, I got my penis
on my necklace ♪ ♪ Everybody think
I’m so jealous ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Door creaks ] ♪ I need ya,
I need that thang like my ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ [ Indistinct singing ] ♪♪ ♪ Meow, meow ♪ ♪ Cat meow ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
throw it, throw it ♪ ♪ Throw it, throw it,
stroke, lean, hit, what? ♪ ♪ Stroke, lean, hit, what? ♪ Makasu confronts Suppay,
the God of Death, deep in the Inca underworld. But will our hero be lulled
into a guilt-ridden complacency by visions of the deaths
he caused in high school and memories of his affair with
the Italian bocce-ball teacher? Tune in next tennis time
for “Gemmusetto Machu Picchu, Chapter 3: Back Spin.” ♪♪ ♪♪ Narrator: Uh-oh. It looks like
Makasu’s triumphant ride to the tennis mythos isn’t going
to be as easy as he thought with this brand-new line
of “Gemmusetto Machu Picchu”
action figures. Why, it’s none other than
water witch herself, Mama Cocha. Use her squirting powers
to douse Makasu with water, or agua, as they say in most
Latin American countries. Whoa! It looks like Makasu
is ready to shoot the curl with the new surfer Makasu
action figure. Let’s hang 10, dudes. It comes with its very own
surfboard and metal detector. [ Metal detector chirping ] My first dad
lives under the sand. Don’t look now,
but it’s that trickster, the Lake Titicaca
Tricky Colon. I’ll pass using
my sphincter, Makasu. This slimy, disgusting
abomination is more than just the organ
that reabsorbs fluid and processes the waste product
from the body and prepares it for elimination
through your rectum. Ahoy matey, it’sSkidbladnir,the fiercest
of the Viking ships. This llama is all business and will bring Makasu
to his knees with his “standing
on all four legs” or “just on his back legs”
Barfing Makasu action figure. [ Imitates
Makasu vomiting ] ♪♪ Wowa Zowa! Smells and tastes
like actual vomit. [ Sniffs ] [ Sniffs ] Gemmusetto Machu Picchu
action figures and play sets — the only action figures
you’ll ever need. [ Beeping ] Huh? Shoot.
Bad news. A tracking device in
South America is now… offline. Aah! Ah, shit, piss. I just ruined a computer. The facts are this. Agent Bendy Rivers is here floating in the middle
of the ocean. But where’s his target — the relic thief, the God-Killer,
the sportsman… Both: Makasu! [ Singing in Japanese ] That’s what I’m trying
to tell you. His tracking device
is offline. Did you check
all the screens? Yes.
Even the small ones. But that’s impossible! Agent Bendy Rivers,
he def– Hello. -Agent Bendy Rivers?
-Yes. Agent Bendy Rivers, you did put the tracking chip
upon Makasu when you had him
in custody, right? Yes, I — Before he escaped
again, that is. Yes.
[ Mumbling ] Can’t understand a word
you’re saying. Yes.
Before he got away, I definitely stuck
the devise on him. What’s wrong? The thing’s busted, Rivers. What?! But I used the thing
to track him to the beach. I got you now. You — you — you can’t do
an escape now. Fashioned from tree sap
and plankton chromosomes, this tracking device
was meant to be the ultimate
in bio-digital implants. Him using it by the beach
shouldn’t have been a problem. Plankton thrive
in the ocean. It’s their
natural habitat. But wait, here,
one of the deities in the Incan pantheon. Oh, my piss. Yes. Some sort of
god of herds, a llama who watches
over animals. It’s possible on
his spiritual rampage, Makasu has run
into this divine beast. And if he has —
crap in a piss hole. The plankton… Both: …would have had
an allergic reaction to the llama,
dander, and hair! -Aah!
-Oh, shoot. Of course plankton
are allergic to llamas. Why would I choose a plankton
chromosomal tracking device when I knew Makasu was in Peru
where there’s lots of llamas? Rivers, I’m beginning
to doubt your ability to handle
this investigation. You’ve been on this case
for a decade, Rivers. I used to look up to you,
you know. Aw. Hold it. I’m getting energy readings
off the charts. Where?! Triangulating. In a parallel plane
of existence 16 layers down… intersecting
with soul tunnels. It must be the Incan
Death Dimension. Ukhu Pacha, it seems
to be called. Rivers, you may have
your man yet. These signatures match
the power levels exerted by those
Chinese stones he stole. Since our device
went offline while he was here
in the under Andes, you could circumvent
the Incan Death Dimension and possibly intercept him here
in this plain of plains. Yeah, sure, okay, lucky.
I’ll get right on that. Now I’m hanging up. Eventually, everyone disappoints
you, even your heroes. Let’s just hope Makasu kills
less than three more gods and Rivers ends his murder
theft spree for him, for us,
for the entire universe. Uhh! Back Pocket Flying
Dimension Bear. Chirp? Return the Colored
Stones of Nuwa back to my back
pocket dimension. Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,
chirp, chirp, chirp. It’s incredible that
you used the powers of the Chinese elements
in those Nuwa Stones to destroy
that crystal wall. I stole these stones when I defeated
the Jade Emperor in rugby using elements
of fire, earth, water, and then my two favorite
elements, wood and metal. Because they’re —
wood and metal are hard
like a man’s boner. Chirp.
Chirp. And now, you’re saying
these crystals taste like a man’s
brown Starburst. Wow. Yes, sour like
a man’s brown Starburst. -Wow.
-Puh. Man’s boners, man’s brown
Starbursts. Truly this is a man’s world. Little mineral demons
stick to the walls here, refining and gathering
geodes buried deep in the walls. It’s the only part
of Incan history buried deep in the walls. Chirp?
Pure baby bear slave. Hey, let me tell you
what you should lick that tastes very good. Follow me. Chirp. [ Panting ] ♪♪ This here floating femur. Human bones are some
of the best bones. Chirp!
Chirp! I see we’re at the final gateway
to Ukhu Pacha. I can tell because
it’s written here on this… [echoing] femur. Doesn’t the femur ball
look like a mozzarella cheese? ♪♪ The last time I sucked
on a mozzarella bone that hard was
when I was having an affair. Chirp? Yes, an affair with my
Italian bocce ball teacher. Back in high school
when I was a nympho-pansexual. Ha. That was one of
my favorite time… phases? Ukhu Pacha. I’ve always found it beautiful
in the most haunting way, like a very wet abortion. Bones of ancestors
are littered everywhere. This is truly
a bittersweet place. You know,
back in high school, they used to call my man’s
brown Starburst “the bone pit”. Which kind of ties
all this stuff together. Chirp, chirp, chirp. Ya! Chirp, chirp. Don’t you dare call me
a horny bitch boy right now, you freak. Chirp. You don’t get to use
those words. Those are my words. Hey, sorry, guys, hold on.
Uh, one sec. Uh, it’s me, the Chair Umpire,
but just wait one sec. Yes, Papa? You have wireless reception in the depths
of the inner world? Wow. Chair Umpire sure is prepared
for a Chair Umpire. Hey, um, um, I’m on
the phone with my papa. Papa Chair Umpire:
[ Speaking native language ] Land lines at home
are a thing of the past. Right. You are sweating. Do you want
any petite fours? I don’t have any.
Just hold on one minute. When you’re sweating, you
get rid of many things. U, it’s like sauna. And, um, this is,
this is — I like, too. Uh… We have to wait ’til she
gets off the phone. Hurry. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Papa Chair Umpire:
Uh, number one, it’s a great,
um, exercise. As a matter of fact,
it’s not my idea, but I know for a fact
that this is number one. Cardio number one. Uh…[speaking
native language] …few days ago. that he read
somewhere that, um, you can prolong
your life, uh, with tennis. 10 years, he —
he read somewhere. [ Coughs ]
I — I like it because you can kill
another person, you know, who is —
who is playing with you, and — and that’s, uh —
that’s a pleasure. You blink —
you blink weird. Uh, sorry, guys. Playing doubles… Yeah. [ Speaking
native language ] That — that — that never,
never actually, you know, with them, it’s not —
not a problem. They’re just playing
for fun. Right. Men actually never
play for fun. Men are so involved
in that — that they get so upset with —
with — with — when they lose and so happy
when they win that this is more
than sport. It’s like, uh —
like, um — um — birthday for — for —
for a man, you know? Right. Literally. Life or death. Like what? Life or death. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kind of like this, yes. I would say, but, uh — you know,
ice cream is sweet. Why you — why — why —
w– why chocolate? And there is chocolate
ice cream, right? So it’s dangerous.
-Yes. For sure. -Okay.
-Alrighty, bye bye, love you. Love you. -Bye.
So sorry about, um, that phone conversation
with my dad. -I — Oh, that’s fine.
-Tennis. No — no big deal. I really apologize
about that, but, anyway,
your next opponent is Supay, the god of death,
pronounced “su-pay”. Oh. Oh. Supay. [ Ball bouncing ] Makasu: Four years ago at the
ancient Chinese rugby stadium in the cosmic nether clouds
outside of the Leifeng Pagoda is where I challenged
the Jade Emperor to rugby and got the Nuwa Elemental
Stones we learned about just a little while ago. This is back
when I grew a rat tail out and I loved that hairdo I had. Chrip? You’re right! Time for tackle! My rat tail! -Chrip?
-Huh? My head! Huh!
Not so fast! Yes, but for some reason,
I am still alive! Huh! I guess fung shui
reversed my decapitation! Flying Bear: Chrip? Makasu:
And that’s how I defeated
the Jade Emperor and got the Nuwa Stones, which I used to destroy
that crystal wall on the way to Ukhu Pacha, where
I am going to be playing tennis against the Incan God of Death,
Supay! Supay. S-U-P-A-Y. Present in Quechua, Aymara,
and Inca mythologies, Supay held a similar role to that of the Western
concept of the Devil. He ruled Ukhu Pacha,
the lower world, one of the three realms
of the Inca mythological cosmos. The other two are Hanan Pacha, a heaven-like celestial world
for the gods, and Kay Pacha,
which is the world we live on or the present time space. Though the Spanish colonizers
used the name Supay to refer to the Christian devil,
it is important to note that the Andean natives
didn’t see Supay as a force to denounce. Rather their fear of him led
to their invoking of his name and begging not
to bring them harm. Ukhu Pacha itself wasn’t
an entirely negative concept and was associated with new life
as well as death. Pachamama, the feminine
earth mother, and harvesting were associated
with this aspect of new life. Disrupting the lower world
was seen as a sacred matter, leading to ceremonies
and rites when humans were
to disturb the surface. For instance,
times when the Inca were to till for potato
crops were accompanied with a host of sacred rituals in order to pay respect
to Ukhu Pacha, a land of death,
new life, of ancestors, and the potential torment
of Supay. Offerings of food and drink
were given to Supay and his demons
in order to ensure that they would not suffer
from hunger or thirst. This would hopefully lead
to Supay acting generously when interacting with deceased
relatives or, if neglected, could lead to him
inflicting punishment or hurting the family members
who had passed. Capable of evil and destruction as well as
a consummate trickster, Supay was an ever-present force representing the duality of good
and evil within the world. Growth, decay, birth, and death, spiritually linked
with contradictions we see in life itself. It was even said that when Supay
was to feast upon the dead, he would manifest
a divine fire, giving off both light and heat,
the generators of life. Due to his connection
to the underground, Andean miners find
a strong reverence of Supay. Their offerings to him
were not intended to retain a status quo
in these cases, but rather to ensure
the discovery of riches from hidden treasures
in the hills. A living, white llama
is to be sacrificed and its heart interred
in the mines to gain his good will
twice yearly, an offering to satisfy
his voracious appetite to protect the miners
as well as to certify the encountering
of valuable minerals. ♪♪ Yah yah yah yah yah
yah yah yah yah. Yah yah yah yah yah
yah yah yah yah. Sports men. You’ve made much progress.
Yah. Using your tennis slaps
on all my guys. You knew I was arriving? Yah. Of course he did, Makasu. You’ve defeated
three gods so far, and their fading spirits
must have at least passed through Supay’s domain
of death. Supay,
is what he said true? Yeah. Damn.
I should have known that. Now I’m embarrassed in front
of the Chair Umpire, the coolest chair I know. Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. Listen, I know I slapped you
in the face earlier pretty hard for calling me
a horny bitch boy, but let’s be honest here. I’m the one who calls you
a horny bitch boy, and the fact that you, like,
took that from me? Kind of [bleep] Chirp. But, for real, I need to ask
your opinion on something. Okay, listen. Do you think the Chair Umpire
thinks I’m stupid? I didn’t know Supay knew
we were coming. Is everyone judging me
for that right now? Chirp, chirp, chirp. I’d say I’m sorry, but you’re
being a total “c” word right now, and I mean
the one that I can’t say. [Bleep] Sportsman, you have
come to dispose of me, much like your Spanish
forefathers. Your artifact seeking
ends here. Oh, no.
Don’t you dare compare me to Spanish
conquistadors of yore. Look at me
in my big, sexy eyes. Every tear,
every pupil dilation. I don’t have time
for your nonsense. Ugh! Whatever you do,
don’t let Supay get to you. Man, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear was being
a total [bleep] earlier. I’m really pissed.
Agh. Why don’t you speak your mind
with tennis? Ugh, I’m pissed.
Serve at me. Chirp, chirp, chirp. Sorries are for Gnarly
Charlies and Charles Barkley. I’m ignoring you
for a few minutes, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. All I have
is my big, sexy eyes. And the dances. Ahh. [ Pop! ] Yah. Ooh.
Huh? Love 15. My death dances were
not good enough? -Ha ha ha.
-Yah! Love conquers
death, Supay. And — and that’s
a metaphor I made up. Hee-yah! We all have our metaphors,
sportsman. My dances are a metaphor
for life and death and the boogie-woogie
in between, which is sex. But your dances have caused
real death, haven’t they? Sex.
Even in your younger days. Death. Look at me in my big,
sexy eyes. [ Echoing ]
Dance. Supay. Conquistador.
Tennis. Boogie. Death.
High school. Teens.
Death. [ Bell rings ] Bucket: Makasu-senpai, the
handsomest and coolest boy at All Star Supotsu Academy. I’ve had a crush on him
for years, but he probably
doesn’t even know that I exist. Huh. Uhh. Oh, no!
Watch out! I’m sorry.
I was distracted. Don’t worry
about it, Bucket. I always hit my head against
things always every day. See ya. You — you know my name? Yeah, you silly dummy. I’ve known you since
we were 6 years old. Also your name is written
on your shorts for when I forget. Uhh. -Hey, Bucket.
Is everything okay? Huh? It’s not like you
to play so poorly. You seem distracted. I — I promise
it won’t happen again. I want to do my best. As long as it doesn’t happen
tomorrow during the final exam for shot-put class.
Let’s all do our… Both: …best! Yeah! [ Bell rings ] Hey, Makasu. I’m really proud of the way
you’ve been throwing those bocce balls. Yeah,
Mr. Bocce Ball. You sure know the most
about bocce. It’s great to hear
your validation of all my playing
with the bocceno. I love it. Those little boccenos.
They’re awesome. Mr. Bocceno, you sure know
the most about everything. You know, every time
I see you, Makasu, I just forget who I am. ♪♪ [ Mumbling ] Bucket. I know we’ve never spoken
or interacted before today, but I just want you to know,
I need you in my life, Bucket. I need that
beautiful body and, more importantly,
your smart brain. What do you say? Let’s move in together
immediately as high schoolers in the same apartment
in love. My mommy also has a magazine
full of vibrators I can get you.
Uh, uh, uh… Makasu-senpai, yes! 1,000 times, yes! See you later, Bucket! Don’t make any mistakes
tomorrow, you idiot. Huh. No.
No more distractions. Father, mother,
I won’t let you down. I will do my best
to make you proud, and I will do my best so that
Makasu-senpai will love me. Father? I am home from school. Bucket, how was school? School was fine, father. Do you need help
with tires? No, Bucket. Do not soil
your shot put fingers on these old
and damaged tires. I am but a simple
tire repairman. Let me tend to them. Daddy is almost
finished repairing these broken
and damaged tires. Would you begin
preparing dinner? ♪ This is my cooking song ♪ ♪ Cooking for Dad
every night ♪ Father, dinner is ready. Daddy is still working. It’s taking longer
than I thought. Please,
allow me to help. No.
I couldn’t. Please, save your talented
fingers for shot put. We spent a lot
of money for you to go to that
big sports school. It’s alright, father. Let me help like
when I was little. The only way to properly
repair a tire is to remove
the damaged material, fill the void with rubber, and seal the inner liner
with our repair unit. A plug or patch by itself
is not a acceptable repair. The plug or patch does not
fill the void left by the penetrating object. The tire will start to corrode
the steel belts. Not all tires can be repaired. When tires are repaired
improperly, the results can be deadly. I hope Father can make it to my
final shot-put exam tomorrow. Good luck with the final
shot-put exam tomorrow. I’m sorry Daddy is
too busy to make it. Your mother would be so proud
if she were still alive. She was the anchor
for her school’s team. Because of her skill,
her team won every match. I know that
her beautiful spirit will be watching
over you. I will do my best
to make both of you… proud. I am but a simple
tire repairman, but knowing that you are
a talented shot-put girl like your mother fills me
with… pride. Oh, no.
I’m going to be late. Why would Makasu-senpai
want to hang out in that empty classroom? [ Tink! Tink! Tink!
Tink! Tink! Tink! ] [ Moaning ] Oh, yeah. Hmm, Bocini. Oh, no. [ Panting ] Where is Bucket? The exam begins
in 15 minutes, and we can’t have our anchor
fail out of school. Is everything alright?
You look upset. I’m fine.
I can do this. I won’t let you down. I will do my best. Bucket: [ To herself ]
Don’t think about it, Bucket.You should have known
you never had a chance.You’re not sexy and rugged
and Italianlike the bocce ball teacher.You’re just a little, nubile,
slender-fingered shot-put slut.Just focus on the game, Bucket,
and make your mother proud.Ha! [ Whistle blows ] Man:
You suck at shot put. Bucket, can you do this? We can’t have you flunk. You’re making a fool
of the whole class!Father,
you made it for me.I can do it.
I promise. Huh! [ Whistle blows ] Hey, look, it’s Bucket.
Hey, Bucket. Don’t screw up
at the shot-put test or you’ll be expelled
from school forever, Bucket. [ Panting ] Ha! Ha! Go, Bucket!
I love — Oh, my eye!Whoopsie, I killed my dadbecause I was distracted
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu” [ Wind howling ] Damn it! Line up, boys.
Let me get a good luck at you. [ To himself ]
Yeah, that’s a good-lookingset of boys we got this year.Surely All Supotsu
Sports Academy for All Sportswill make finals
and win that big tennis trophy.And maybe I’ll finally
get that big promotion.Plus I still have
my secret weapon,the talented
all-star sports boy…[ Echoing ] Makasu! Where’s that Makasu, anyways? [ Groaning ] Makasu? Makasu, what’s wrong?
Are you injured? Can I get you
any blue sports drink? [ Groaning continues ] Oh! Oh! Makasu. Oh. [ Crying ]
It’s my grandfather. He was wounded
in a rac-quet-ball accident at the rac-quet court. Ooh! I was there. And I blame myself. And now
I have emotional pain. [ Crying ] And it’s my fault and my emotional pain
is… [ Mumbling ] I’ve got a lot of emotional pain
right now. I’m — I’m gonna… Aah! Ooh! Ay yi yi yi. No, he’s running away! Oh! Makasu — he had so much
potential. How could you drop out of this
tennis program so suddenly like this? [ Crying ] Damn it! M– Makasu, wait! Please don’t do this! We can talk about it. I’m sure after some therapy,
you’ll be fine. No, you don’t understand. Makasu, let’s go here. Huh? You’ve been
on thin ice lately. The whole
tennis program has. Haven’t won a match
in four years. And we’re a goddamn
sports academy! I know, sir. And now I hear a student —
no, not just a student, but a third year
with all S grades throughout his time here
at Supotsu All Academy — he’s run out of your class,
topless and sobbing? Uh, sir, he — I won’t hear it. Fix your shit,
piss pants. Poor Makasu! I was so focused
on my own pain, the tournament,
the big trophy… [ Tires screeching ] [ Thunder rumbling ] …the promotion. [ Crying ] As — as a teacher, I should be there
for my students when they’re at their worst. [ Tires screeching ] What’s wrong with me? ♪♪ ♪♪ Ha! Time Devils! Let’s grab his papers! I’ve got it! Aah! My American football term paper for American Football
Term Paper class! Stop, you pestilent Time Devils. Leave the boy alone! Oh, my God.
It’s him. It’s that man. He’s told us to stop. Ahh.
The power of time! [ Gibberish ] Whew-wee. That takes care of that. Goblin: I am the helpful
custodian of All-Sportsu. I also work fighting against
Time Devils who like to mess with time. My name is… Time Lord Tim. I am the custodian
of time space, and this is my
Time Piece Puzzle. It allows me to control
and harness the power of time. Now run along. Back to sports class
with you. You wouldn’t want to be late
with that term paper, would you,
my good boy? Well…
Gee, thank you, mister. I am the friendly custodian
of All Supotsu Sports Academy for Sports Students. It brings me such joy to help
these fine young students in any way that I can, be it defending them
from mischievous Time Devils or cleaning up
after their dirty accidents. That is my job.
I must do it. I love them. All with the help
of my Time Piece Puzzle, a great
and powerful artifact that I received
such a long time ago. I won the Time Piece Puzzle
from a giant grandfather clock in the great battle that lasted
for just a single moment and all of eternity,
all at once. [ Bell rings ] Ugh, so dehydrated. You know what they say. As soon as one mess
is cleaned up, another one
takes its place. Don’t you worry
because worry not. I control the power of time. Uh-huh.
I’ll clean it. Right in the hole
where pies ago. You fool!
What have you done? This is no laughing matter. Your actions will have
dreadful consequences. Oh, no! [ Time Devils laughing ] I’ve got fingers! No.
Please! Makasu, help! He’s going to scramble
my eggs. Ow. We’re going to put you
through puberty until you barf
your genitals, Tim! Ohh! My brains!
Ow! My gentils! Get away from that
weird-looking janitor, you demon bastards! Hyo.
Hyo. Hyo. Hyo. Hyo. Weird little man.
Are you okay? I warned you, Makasu. These events will have
cosmic consequences. And now, because of you, my teen gentils
are fused to my brain. Ooh.
I’m a mess. I’m a big mess,
and no one will clean me. Agh. And now I’m dead. Ah, wow. Oh, boy. [ Bell rings ] I had fun
being your soccer partner. Those were
some great kicks. Bye, everybody! I had a lot of fun
playing soccer today. Well, well, well. What do we have here? [ Gasps ] Looks like two
beautiful young men with frosted tips
and pockets. [ Shuddering ]
Who are you? Allow me to introduce myself. I go to the nearby
public school, and I want you to hand
over all of your valuables. You bully! Have a taste
of my ultimate technique! [ Echoing ]
Electric Scorpion Kick! Hi-yah! Foul! Witness now my
ultimate technique. Instead of wasting my time
with useless training drills and team-building exercises, I combined the ancient art
of tattooing using henna dye prepared from
the Egyptian privet plant with the modern science
of steroid technologies, generating these. My hennaroids! Hey!
No fair! That’s cheating! All you
little academy kids, running around kicking your own
spotted pentagon balls. It makes me sick. Now arm wrestling. That’s a real sport. Ooh.
Ow, ow, ow. You.
You’re the bully targeting
my fellow students at the All Supotsu Academy. You’re showing
bad supotsu-manship. If you’re going to arm wrestle
anyone, bully, arm wrestle me. You wish
to challenge me? [ Laughing ] So be it. You see now, Makasu? You cannot beat me. I possess the ancient Egyptian
power of arm wrestling. Your sports
cannot save you now. You underestimate
the power of modern
regulation sports. [ Yelling ] I don’t know how
this is happening. You have bested me
in an honorable way. I guess being a bully
isn’t how — I will now strip
you of your power. No. And your money. And also their money. Hey, ma.
I’m back early. My bullying got cut short. No. No.
Run away. Hey. Don’t try nothing, you stupid
noodle-armed little punk. Mother. Nooo! [ Gunshot ] If only I hadn’t
come home early. If only I didn’t have
these noodle arms. This is all your fault. Akari:When I was a girl,
I wanted to be a secretary.My mother and I would often
visit a simple countrysiderice porridge eatery.The taste of the rice porridge
they servedalways brought me joy.When I grow up,
I want to be a secretary. Sorry, honey, but you’re
too plain-looking to be a secretary. Aw. Why don’t you
sell some flowers so no one
has to look at your face? They’re distracted
by the flowers, and not your ugly face. Mmm! Shut up.
Mommy’s eating.So I hid my plain face behind
the beautiful blossomsof my flowers.I would return to the rice
porridge restaurant every year,even after my mother passed.Mommy, why is that woman
so plain? Shh.
I told you. Don’t look
at plain-looking women. They’re different. Thanks for the flowers.
Have a nice day.Years passed until one day I
met a handsome young strangerat the same
simple country eatery.He was foreign, a tourist.After lunch, he insisted on
coming back with me to my cart.Man #2: There are
so many flowers here. I can’t decide
on which ones to buy. Which flowers do you
like the most? M– me, sir? Yes.
You. Well, I’ve always admired
the beautiful red carnation. Ah.
Of course. They are striking. The red carnations
it is, then. No.
Keep them. They suit you.Soon I became his bride,and on my wedding day,I carried red carnations.It’s like a little flower. You’re like
a little flower.Every day, I made my husbandthe same rice porridge
from my childhood.Every day, I hid my plain face
behind the flowers in my cart.I have found peace in the
simple way I live my life.Ooh!
Stop! I must buy all your plants! Here’s all my money! Oh, my!
Thank you, sir! I’m running in place
to burn calories. Have a nice day! [ Tires screeching ] [ Men moaning ] Oh, yeah.
Oh. Oh, we’re making out. Oh, Italian!
Like a red carnation.Bocce instructor:
Smells like — mmm. Smells like rice porridge. I hate when you interrupt
our sex for porridge. My God.
She caught me having an affair with my student
and killed herself and made herself
into rice porridge. My God!
She’s a rice porridge! No! No! No! Can’t believe…it. Ahahuhuhahaahhhh. [ Crying ] Stop crying!
Ignore the guilt! They’re all dead
’cause of me! But, Makasu… No. You can’t let this
get to you. I told you, God damn it,
don’t let Supay get to you! [ Laughs ] Looks like the little sportsman
is out of commission. Too bad his big, bad journey
had to end so soon. No! I’m a second-degree murderer
in the cosmic degree and a first-degree
murderer of gods. But I’ve always been murdering
since the beginning. Everyone,
I’m a murder man, not a sportsman. No. No.
No. No. No one can resist the guilt
of the projections of the knowledge of death that the god of death
has projected into their mind with his big,
beautiful, sexy eyes. Ahh. Uh, 15-15. Aw, gosh. He’s just going to easily
score points if you lie down like that. I don’t deserve to win. Supay! You think you can just drain
this sportsman tennis boy of all his power and energy
with guilt? Think?!
You boogie woogie bubble butt. I just did! 30-15. So cocky, so damn proud of your mind tricks
and your big eyes. They’re big and sexy eyes,
damn it! Hyah! Sorry. Ooh la la. Makasu is better
than your guilt, your brainwashing, your boogie-woogie
dancing antics. You’re the bumble-butt
boogie woogie — I just said you were.
Hyah! But the truth is… you’re ashamed, Supay.
Hyah! Ashamed of your tiny,
real tiny, just small, tiny eyes! Ooh!
No. My big, beautiful, sexy eyes. Ohhh. Oooh. I’m becoming ugly, small bones. Bones. Wow. You defeated him
by destroying his m– fake eyes and revealing
his tiny, real tiny, just small, tiny eyes. Chirp chirp. Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear? Hmm, chirp? You’re snuggling me now, even though I was acting like
a real man’s brown Starburst. You’ve lived your life
ignoring most consequences, and all I ask,
all I’ve ever asked, is to take those moments
of guilt, of emotion, and forget them. Move past them. No one else matters. It’s true. Ever since my grandfather
lost his mind, I’ve gone numb to the world,
but you’re saying… I should be numb? That no one else matters? Except for me,
helping you in tennis. These are your most important
sports fights yet. Chirp. Hey, I’m in the cuddle
puddle, too. What a weird way for this
tennis match to end. Narrator: Within “tennis”,
there is an “I”. Eye translated to Quechua
is Nawi. I like to think of it
as the soul hole. You have the cornelius
which produces tears, the iris which surrounds
the main sphere, the receptor grid with rods
and cones lining the perimeter, the fovic mass,
and of course the color torus. If people have less rods
than cones, they may see
more angular shapes. If people have more cones
than rods, they see more spherical shapes. With your eyes, you can fixate
on an object to absorb the color spectrum
known as red through violet. People ask what colors
the eye can see, but the question should be
what colors can the eyes be? Purple, sea foam, copper,
pubus, and green. Soul, souls, souls, souls, purpose of the eye
is to seek the soul, soul, the purpose of the eye
is to seek the soul, soul soul, to see — to see, the sole purpose of the eye
is to see — the sole purpose of the eye
is to see the window — the sole purpose of the eye is to see the window
of the soul… The windows, the windows
the windows… Eye, eye, eye, eye… Chair Umpire:
Do not panic if suddenly
your eyes give out in a bout of tremor or panic. Ugh. Because an impression of an eye can be made and saved
and bought and taught. Feel the weight of your eyes,
feel the weight of your eyelid, now let your eyelid slide, now place your eyelid
over your eye, crying. Do you cry?
Open your eyes. Of all the senses, sight
is the third most visual. We have two eyes. We have two eyes.
We have two eyes. In order to see.
In order to see. In order to see
what is before us. See what is before us.
See what is before us. Reflections,
refractions refracting off refractions. The center of the iris, what you
may not know of the iris, two eyes is that
we have a third eye. Sight. Sight is the third
most visual sight. Visual sight.
Visual sight. Visual sight. Visual center of the eye. Third eye. Third eye.
Third eye. Iris. Iris.
Iris. Iris. Iris. Iris.
Iris. Iris. Iris. Iris.
Iris. Iris. Iris. Iris.
Iris. Iris. Iris… pect you. The God of Tennis
teaches Makasu to suppress guilt
with the power of alcohol, but they’re ambushed
by Khan, god of the wind, and his surprise friend,
Kataquill, god of thunder. Can Makasu deal with a doubles
tennis match on his own? Tune in next year for “Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu
Chapter 4: Break Point”. ♪♪ ♪♪ Narrator: Makasu is no match
for the god of death, Supay. Look into my big sexy eyes,
Makasu. They’re super duper sexy. Take off Supay’s sexy eyes to
reveal his hidden creepy eyes. Outer space Makasu
action figure including a box
of freeze-dried ice cream and — Hi, Makasu. ♪♪ Hi, Makasu.
It’s good to see you. Bucket’s father has
ball-shooting action. Be careful.
My grandfather had a nail shoot through his eye
when he was hammering. It’s about time… I showed up
as an action figure. Time Lord Tim manipulates time with his puzzle
piece-spinning belt. Finally, you can erase
all those mistakes you made
in junior college. Holy crap!
It’s Paint Brush Makasu! Now I can paint any tennis
opponent into a corner. Hey, Makasu! Get ready for a beating
with my big muscle arms! Check out these
gnarly tats, bruh. The Bully covered in tattoos
that g– g– g– glow in the dark! Radical! Hey, I’ma here to teach you
how to play bocce ball! Italian bocce ball instructor! [ Screaming ] [ Screaming continues ] “Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu”
action figures and play sets. My name is Makasu, and I’m
an international sportsman and religious relic thief. You might have heard
of my heists and my famous abilities
in sports. I always travel with my servant, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear, who lives in my back
pocket dimension. My most recent quest involves
challenging all the Incan Gods to tennis for the treasure
of South America. On this journey I actually met
the French God of tennis, friends with these Incan Gods, who’s been helping me
put them all to rest, and thus kill them after
defeating them at tennis. A little while ago, Supay, the
God of death and a trickster, flooded my mind
with guilty memories. And now, I don’t feel so good. Makasu?
Do you still not feel so good? I’m trying hard to forget
my feelings, like you said,
but the memories are lingering. Uku Pacha may be behind us,
God of Tennis. But I’m still here.
In my head. Let me try to be better
at helping you. There’s an old French fable
by Jean de la Frompe about an old worm
and an old rat. I’m going to tell it to you now. ♪♪ Whatever could that
strange sound be? Oh, a worm!
You gave me a fright. Damn!
Are you digging a hole?! I was until you came
bursting in! I only burst through because I was just so excited
to see you, dear. I have wonderful news! Is it news about how helping me
fill my hole? No! I was just at the
Font a le Bean’s table junction, and I heard mutterings
among the folks there that there is to be a contest! And I think you and I have
a great chance of winning it! Ooh, ooh!
What is the contest? We simply have to guess at the
day of the first rain of winter! And if we guess correctly
we will win the prize! And what is the prize? It seems that the vermin
holding the contest want to keep it a secret. Oh, a secret prize? Go away, Old Worm! I’m not going through all
the hassle of entering a contest when I don’t even know what
the prize is in the first place. But we have an advantage,
Old Rat, my dear. And what is that? Your old bones! My old bones? Your old bones! Ahh, how my old bones possibly
gonna know when it’s gonna rain? Old Rat, you know
as well as I do that you can always tell
when it is going to rain because your old bones
always ache. Ah, old worm, my old bones
they only ache, when it’s about to rain
and the first rain is in winter and it is fall. I did not think about that. Oh, Worm, you don’t —
you don’t think about anything. Even so. Oh, Worm, don’t be
so down and out. I think I got an idea. ♪♪ Oh, my old bones! Are they aching? Yeah, they are, but it’s
too early for the first rain! Oh, let us run down
to the guessing booth! Perhaps we can make it in time! Okay! We have a new guess
from when its gonna rain. It’s today! Oh, is that so? That is very silly. It is still fall. We would like to submit
our guess. If you insist. ♪♪ What’s next then?
Did it rain? Was the rat right?
What happened? What’s important isn’t whether
or not they were right, but that they had a journey
together that day and shared fashion hats. Be in the moment,
not in the past. Every moment is beautiful. Wow, like when I waited in line
at Cobie City Electronics for the new Cobie game cream and they didn’t make enough,
so no one got any. Wow.
But hanging out in line? That’s an experience
I never wanna forget. It’s not the results — except also I wanna get
the treasure of South America. I also have one other way
to help deal with your guilt
and memories. It’s this building called Bar,
where they serve alcohol drinks. [ Man singing in Japanese ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ I regret not buying a house
years ago, when it was a buyer’s market. I regret not apologizing
to my mother years ago, when she was still alive. I regret letting my marriage
fall apart years ago, when I worked too much. It’s a good thing we’re taking
a break at this bar to learn about erasing
regrets with alcohol. Now I understand why my dad
always told me he drank to forget. Ah, mmm —
because it works! Yes, it helps. Drink. All: Drink. I’ll get the next round. I have some regrets to share. But you’re put together
and have a red hat! What regrets could a person
like you possibly have if you’ve got
that kind of hat? I don’t want to talk about mine
just yet. Let’s hear about yours first. Bartender!
Your finest whiskey. Oh. Time to spill. It was a blue house
with a red door. I wish my indecisiveness let me
buy it sooner. It was a stupid argument
about loans. I wish I told her I didn’t need
to borrow her money. I wish I told my mother
I loved her. It wasn’t my fault
for being unfaithful. I wish I never got caught. I wish I never had a secretary. I wish I had a prettier wife. Why did this have
to happen to me? Ahh, yes!
Wonderful. And you, child? [ Slurping ] It’s fitting you ask in a way. ♪♪ Just recently
an Incan god of death tried to fill me
with regret, shaming me for
my hyper-sexual past and for the people
I killed indirectly. But thankfully, my friend
the God of Tennis brought me here and taught me
how to neuter these feelings with booze! That’s not a real regret! You better give me
what I want or else. I like these. Can I have another one of these?
I like them. I am the Regret Demon and I will
feast on your past mistakes! Now speak, you pathetic human,
or I will kill you! Sorry, but my only regret now is that it took me
so long to discover whiskey. Whiskey is delicious! I wasn’t much of a drinker
before. I’d only drink socially,
you know, just to fit in. But, man, this whiskey stuff,
it tastes like wood. Ugh! I guess I don’t have regrets,
either. Ugh! I guess my regret
is pointless anyways. Ugh! I guess my regret teaches me
to be a better person! Noooooooooo! The truth is, Makasu, I knew
the Regret Demon would be here and I knew that you were
vulnerable and weak after Supay. But I knew that you could also
take the lessons from the fable about the Old Rat and Worm
from Jean de la Frompe. You know what, God of Tennis? Let’s all dance! ♪♪ Yeah, ha-ha! Running. [ Snorts ] I’m very hungover. With all you’ve accomplished
I sometimes forget your mortal stamina
for alcohol. I’m fine with having two beers and then feeling
all funny inside. But now I feel like
making bottom throw up. Aww, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear does a little puke, just like in
the movies — Hollywood! [ Chirp ] You’re right. It’s good to be out
of Uchu Pacha and be here,
among the fresh air. The pacha are distinct,
separate worlds, but as we’ve seen, they are
connected through passageways. Such as the mountainous
Under Andes we took to spring cave
that led us to the Supay. Ow — bleh! Oh, you stupid flying bear. Everyone knows that quinoa grain
map tastes just like normal quinoa,
which is a bad taste. Makasu, please. Don’t shit all over the food
of this country while I’m explaining a diagram
of the different planes of existence
in the Incan cosmos. [ Flatulence ]
I can’t help but dump poo all over
the local tubers and flora. He’s right.
I shouldn’t try and change him. Some men just dump poo all over
local tubers and flora.I can’t help but dumpu.Whoa?! Huh! Aahhh. What is this? Hold on, wait, let
me pull up my pants real quick. What is this wind
that’s brewing? Oh!
Uh oh! Everybody! Whoap! Gotta avoid this male defecate! Whoa, the chair umpire almost
rolled into my brown dumpu! Chair Umpire! Sorry to blow in with the wind. [ Laughs ]
Very funny to me. Okay, listen. Your wildest challenge
is yet about to c–occur! Is yet about to occur. Uh-oh. Makasu! The chair umpire means
to tell us our journey is
being interrupted by Kon. Ron! [ Chirp ] No, Ron! Ron! Kon!
With a K! Ron! Kon! [ Grunting ] My hair’s going everywhere,
like a big pork. Ah, kick! Kick! Kick! ♪♪ -Fwah!
-Ron! Kon! Kon! Kon! Nope. Kon, like Kon-traceptive.
Kon! That’s right, Kon,
the boy wind god, is here for tennis. I blow wind up your ass.
[ Laughs ] Very funny. ♪♪ Oowee. Makasu the sportsman. Now he’s playin’ tennis
with that wind god O’Kon. You know the wind been
pretty foolishly strong lately. The wind blew too much, I don’t think I can have
my little campfire here. He’d blow it right out,
blow it right over. Fire go flying down the road. Wind can do all kinda things. Oh, for instance last week,
the wind blew so hard, it blew all the dirt right off
my old dog’s back, and down the tip of the tail
and right off. I didn’t even have to give him
a bath the next day. Well, I’ll tell you one thing. That old wind is not gonna
blow me away or my toasty campfire tonight. Whoa! What Mr. Wind blew in now? Looks like a short
animated classic of Makasu. Eight years ago and I’ll
take it too, you know why? ‘Cause we been so down and out
lately and feeling sad, I think something sweet
and cheerful like this might be a good break. From the old
hypermasculinity of sport. [ Beeping ] Go on in there little feller. [ Beeping ]Makasu Quick Sports Memory.♪♪ The facts are this, Rivers. We know Makasu is battling
the gods of Slavic paganism, and that’s
the only facts we have. I’m sorry we don’t
have more facts. The chill of the wind here,
snow… It’s all beautiful. Your wife and your son
should be at the safe house now. I-I’m sure you’re used
to the drill. Yeah, two years
I’ve been after this guy. It’s been tough, but I feel like
we all enjoy the excuse to see the world. It’s a struggle for Sonia,
my wife, sometimes, but she is doing her best
to be able to work from home. You know?
I really look up to you. Oh, my piss. Yeah-ah! Formula One racecar!
Nice! Ugh, Bendy Rivers, my nemesis. That is a Formula One racer. Luckily the old fool
doesn’t yet realize the favorite sport
of the Slavic deities is Formula One racing and that
that racer is my racer from beating them all in
Formula One racing. Besides, I’ve already defeated
Ognebog, the fire god, and took Pakobhhk,
the herb that unlocks and opens everything
locked or closed. They say that only tortoises
can recognize it. Whoa. Hello, everyone,
at Cobie City Speedway! My name is Cobie, and I am the CEO
of Cobie City Electronics. You may recognize me as one
of the most eligible bachelors in this month’s
DVD+R Magazine,and I pioneered this
state-of-the-art Cobie 360 jumbotron. It’s 3-D, and it’s 360 degrees. Look at it move. This is a gorgeous day for the highly anticipated
race between Makasu, the sportsman
who cannot be defeated, and Ognebog,
the fire god of Slavic pagan mythology
and folklore, whose flames may very well
consume Makasu today. One thing that the fire
cannot consume is the fire-resistant
Cobie Coob Brick, a wireless 8k streaming device, available for sale at vendors
across the speedway. Makasu, you will know defeat when you feel the full power
of my 45 degrees. 45 degrees Celsius? What’s that in Fahrenheit? 78?
Ooh, 78.Today will be the last sporting
event of your pathetic life. Ognebog, the fire god,
this is hot.Ooh, 78.Whoa. Look at their heated exchange
and look at their tires. So thick! If you would like to make
your own tires this big and never have
a flat tire again, look under your seats for
the 10% off coupon of a Cobie Tire Inflater,
on sale now! And look in the sky! Bobcat Dylan, the Cobie City
Hang Glider Expert and Advertiser. Doesn’t he seem excited
about our new inflaters? Now look in the stands. It’s Triple Trout,
our Cobie City Spokes-fish, selling inflaters
whenever you want one. Audience:
Triple Trout, we love you! And now, here’s a quick video
I made to advertise the Tire Inflater to you. Whoa.
Slow down! It looks like you
have a flat tire. I’ll inflate it. I just need the last four digits
of your Social to unlock the tire. Go ahead, and I’ll enter them on the keypad below
when you’re ready. Thanks for the digits. You’re good to go. [ Air hissing ] Hello.
I’m Bobcat Dylan, official hang glider of
Cobie City marketing. And I’m Triple Trout, the official
spokes-trout of Cobie City. You should buy a tire inflater. They’re not that expensive
and they work. You can’t blow your own tires. Cobie City Electronics. Have we leaked the tires
of every car in parking lot, Kiwi? We have deflated
all the tires in the lot. We anticipate record sales. Yeah?
That’s great! What a delight! Cobie, what
an electronics mogul. And to be here at his raceway. You know, Ognebog,
I’ve got all of his products. I’ve got the Cobie Branch, I got the Cobie Ear Muffys, the Cobie Smart Freeze. I’ve been saving up
for Cobie electronics since I was 14 years old
when I was back in high school. And I was packing bags,
at the paper bag store. Shut up, capitalist scum! Capitalist scum?
Is that the new MP3 player? Racers! On your mark! Get set!
Go! Goodbye, goodbye! Huh? Oh.
Ah. My tires deflated! We even drained Makasu’s tires? It wasn’t supposed to happen,
but we can fix it. We can sell Makasu
a tire inflater. It’ll look great for our brand. Yes! Our tire inflater
is his only hope. I like your thinking. Ahem, everyone, everyone! If you need a Tire Inflator, don’t forget the Cobie City
mascot Triple Trout is perusing the stands now,
selling them from his basket. How many have we sold,
Triple Trout? We sold three! Listen to this song! Isn’t it catchy? I remixed it with the sound
of my own leaking tires. You’ve heard of EDM music. What do you think about ETM,
electronic tire music? It’s catchy, right? Triple Trout has a tire inflater
for sale in the a– here? Looks like I’ll be spending
my money here in Serbia, helping their economy. I need that Cobie Tire Inflater! [ Engine revving ] Trout man, I need a rip
of your inflater. No cash. We need a bank card
or a Cobie Currency Card. I’m in the middle of a race! Come on, Triple Trout, your boy
only got this much paper money. Hey, man, we need a card with
some valid information on it. It’s for security reasons. I’m not trying to take
your identity or anything. I’m not an identity thief! No way, man. Thank you very much. Hey, what do you think
you’re doing? Come back here. Here we go. Now I’m off.
I’m off. Hey, I think that trout
stole my identity! ♪♪ Aahh!
Meeit! Sesuki. Aah.
Thanks a lot, comrades! Huh? Oh, I love vanilla
ice cream sandwiches in those soggy brown cookies. I will your melt ice-cream
sandwich. [ Speaking foreign language ] Oh, no.
My ice-cream sandwich is doing
a melt all over my pants. And it’s very sticky and messy. Oh, gosh. It’s a sticky
and messy race now. Ahh!
Ugh! Ahhh! Dear Makasu, the flames
will consume you here in Serbia. ♪♪ Aah! Send me a postcard
from wherever it is you Slavic gods
go to lose, Ognebog. I love collecting postcards. [ Crash ] What? No way! Surprise, surprise, little boy. It won’t be that easy. Tiny dancer, you have reached
the end of the yellow
brick road, Makasu.[ Grunting ]
I’m uusing my tire inflater.I-It’s my last hope.Uh, ah.Gotta use the inflater.Uh-uah. Wouldn’t it be nice
to buy a tire inflater? Hey, Bobcat! Let’s finish this!Cobie Electronics
has two mascots.One is a trout,
and one is a flying man.The trout is meant
to connect with teenagers.The flying man is meant to
connect with horny rude wives.Women were not satisfied
by their husbands,so they think
of the flying manand think that
he’ll take them away.[ Engine revving ] ♪♪ This will not be the last
that you see of me, Makasu. Dasvidaniya!
-What a race! Congratulations, Makasu! I may have one a race against
a god of fire today, Ognebog, whom I have defeated
in Formula One racing in order to get this,
Pakobhhk, the herb that opens
everything locked or closed. But I think I realized something
even more important, ladies and gentleman. Maybe the gods of today
are closer than we think. Cobie, your amazing products
are in all of our homes, listening to every word
we say. Fire, who needs fire today? Who has a fireplace? And in a way, is this man
not more of a god than this obsolete
charred dust person Ognefer-fer–
That’s something to think about. That’s a theme, I think. That’s an idea. And I don’t think
anyone’s written about it. I’m going to the shower room
of lockers and rinse myself off. ♪♪ Sometimes
I wonder if just filling up this back pocket dimension
with stuff is burying myself in my own
metaphorical isolation. But then I remember
I’m in my early 20s and I don’t have time
to worry about anything. But maybe then also do I wonder
if I actually want a friend. ♪♪ [ Knocking at door ] Huh?
Oh, cool, a box. [ Grunting ] Dang it. Duh, Pakobhhk. Whoa!
Oh, sick! My Back Pocket Dimension Flying
Bear slave came in the mail. Who needs friends when
you have media and an unpaid intern animal bear
flying in your back pocket? ♪♪ ♪♪ Here are all the identities
I stole. Thank you, Triple Trout. We will add all of these
identities to the newsletter, and we’ll finally
achieve diamond status. Hey, I think my
tire inflater broke. Come on, guys,
let’s get outta here. Can you actually fly with
all of us on this hang glider? Yeah.
I trust the wind! [ Harmonica notes playing ] ♪♪ Diamond status. That may or may not offer
insight into our characters or the events at hand
or even the — the themes of — of wind and, well,
the way it blows by. I do know we don’t have
much time ’cause this life
is mighty short, and the way that wind
will sneak up on you and blow
around the corner a good thing or not a cocoon
laying up on the windowsill. ‘Cause then we might just
tumble off, and next thing you know
we’re going to a party but now just a big pile
of yellow goop on the ground. Well, let’s see. Uh, let me get back on track. Uh, why don’t we, uh,
just follow that wind and check back up on Makasu and his tennis match
with the Incan god Kon. I-I-I think it’s been
8 years now. Take caution, Makasu. Kon is the only child of Inti, the Incan Sun God,
and Mama Killa, the moon. Through his gradual
mental decline over the years Kon has become a pompous,
wind-filled monster, who also benefits from many
years of private tennis lessons. He may have the body of a child, but he has the strength
of an average man. Guh! Kon, you may have the power
of a thousand winds, but you stink real bad, like someone spilled beer
on a lost dog. Like young hormones and
the inside of an artichoke. Aah. You think you have the skills
to defeat me, mortal? Let’s see what you can do. ♪♪ I hit balls! Impressive. You will be an excellent
challenge. Destroying the others
must have been good practice. But I’m a whole different game. Fat chance,
you small little freak. The game hasn’t changed. Last time I checked,
it’s still the game of tennis. Nasty boy hate stare! ♪♪ Huh?! Rain? Was that old rat right? Looks like we’re in
for some nasty weather. Perhaps you should
rethink this, mortal. Incan rainstorms
are unlike any other. Forfeit this match and go back
to the puddle of mud you grew out of. If I can handle Mama Cocha’s
water balls and waves, I can handle
your light pruning, Kon. Maybe you’re the one
who’s getting tired. Just a little winded. Ugh, my fingers
and whole body — so raisin-y. Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear! [ Chirp ] Get me my windbreaker! To counter this wind
I need no ordinary artifact, but rather a personal artifact! ♪♪ The hand-me-down windbreaker
from my grandfather. Grandfather! ♪♪ Looks like your
emotional instability will be your downfall.
Nasty boy hate stare! ♪♪ You do have anger that scars
the heavens, human. Heh, yeah. Oh, no. Has Kon created a gash
in the heavens just small enough to allow? We heard you’ve been doing
tennis murders, man. That’s not cool, man. Catequil’s particular dementia
involves him saying the word “man” a lot. Man, thanks for opening
that brief Pacha Gash for me to slip through and give you
big swipe tennis slices, man. Let’s suffocate this creep
with the very air he breathes. Huh! Man, that sounds chill, Man. ♪♪ Ugh. ♪♪ Two people at tennis
for doubles. How can I even manage? They’re just hovering there,
aware of their lead, taunting. [ Tennis ball bouncing ] Phuah! Uh! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! You simply don’t have the power
to even stand against me. It’s almost a good thing
Catequil is here. Man, I’m the life
of the party, man! I’ve done everything. Like I kissed three chicks
in one night. Ca-caw! Ouch, big rocks. Hip lunge boast! Ooh! Ow!
Ow! They’re playing with my body
like a limp rag doll of a man. Earlier when I said I wasn’t any
good at tennis, I was correct. I knew I wasn’t any good
at tennis. If you can’t even defeat me,
how do you plan to stay alive against my mother and father?
-Shut up! They’d smash you
where you stand. You pulled a trick on him, Kon. You started a doubles tennis. So?
You’re not my father! Fwah! Fwah! Fwah! Fwah! What? He resists my God Wind
Fwah Fwah? It’s — It’s true.
You did break the rules. I was a little nervous to talk
about it, uh, even though it’s my job. That damn chair! Always nervous! [ Whistle screeches ] Man! Man! Ugh! This whistling! I have done my whistling. I now will make a ruling. ♪♪ Nothing will change. What? The ma– The mortal is gonna fight
the gods as an individual and then they can play as two. -What?
-But, Chair, that is not fair. Sir, they don’t call me
the Fair Chair. They call me the Chair Umpire,
which doesn’t even rhyme.That damn chair.♪♪ I’m sorry, Makasu.
You were brilliant. You took down Ekeko, Mama Cocha,
Urcuchillay, Supay. I don’t stand a chance
as an individual. May I kiss you? No, sometimes I don’t like
intimacy when I’m stressed. Wait!
Intimacy! We’ve touched so many times,
God of Tennis. We’ve held wrists and arms
and floated together. You’ve been there,
talking in my face and being sweet
over and over again. Tell me. Have you felt it? Felt what? That we could, just one time, use our powers
of friendly intimacy to merge our bodies
together to create one even more powerful
ultra individual. Ultra individual amazing? It’s dangerous, but I feel like
if we risk it this one specific time,
we can have an exciting moment and we can get
the infusion of sports and tennis abilities
that we need. -Chair?
-I’m nervous again. Today is just, like,
kind of an off day for me. And I’ve just been like,
really in my own head.That damn chair.
Yeah, you know what? Actually, sure, just go for it. ♪♪ Are you ready? As ready as I’ll ever be. ♪♪ Uhhhh. [ Gurgling ] I really hope they die
doing that. It would be a real load
off of my back, man. Tennis is just
quite a lot of energy. Hard work. Huh. Gayayaya! Gah!
It’s in my eyes. Gayaya! Oh, yayaya! You’re talking scary now! I wish I could wipe the spit
from my face. ♪♪ Uh, ehh, uhhgh. Gayaya! Spine touch! Bitch, you can talk.
What the heck? You were just going “gayayaya”? Spine flisk! What the heck is a flisk? ♪♪ Huh? Whoa!
Their merged form? Tennis rackets for arms! Cactuses for legs! Hyah, hyah, hyah!
We are one for tennis. The rules of tennis
are very strange for me, even as an expert in tennis. Very well.
A merged form. Hmpf. I guess I stand no chance. Prepare to be shredded
at beef in sport! Oh, ultra form!
So ultra. I’m so scared! Don’t hurt me.
Ah hah! I don’t know, Kon.
It seems pretty ultra. Tennis rackets for arms? Cactuses for legs? Pretty ultra. Shut up.
Fwah! Hey, wait. Whoa! ♪♪ [ Chirp ] They’ve merged as well? Don’t fear, Makasu. We’re on equal playing
fields now. Which is better than
where we were before. On equal fields. Oh, wow! ♪♪ Hyah! Fwah! Hyah, hyah! Grraaahh! Wow!
You big, strong, ultra boys, are you ready! Oh, I got gas.
We are ready for tennis! ♪♪ Fwah, fwah, fwah! H-H-Hyah! ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ Yuh, aye, backspin ♪ ♪ Yo, cut like the wind ♪ ♪ Ya, lil boy, like the wind ♪ ♪ Dump in ♪ ♪ Hit it again
Ooh! ♪ ♪ That’s your ass ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, smash ♪ ♪ Hit that thing cross court ♪ ♪ You know you knock ’em
last, aye ♪ ♪ Hit that thing cross court ♪ ♪ I got em runnin’ down ♪ ♪ I can tell you runnin’
out of stamina ♪ ♪ Know I keep them mothaf–
block hot ♪ ♪ Boy, you is no match
for my drop shot ♪ ♪ Oh, my gosh ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag,
serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag,
serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag,
serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag, serve, sauce ♪ ♪ Serve, swag,
serve, sauce ♪ No. No.
No. And that’s the game,
set, match. Game! Set! Match! ♪♪ I feel inside broken. Aah! We did it. We ultra-won the form-merging
contest tennis match. Huh? Through hell and back and
whatever extraplanar nonsense we now find ourselves
in, Makasu. I’ve found you again. Wait, Bendy Rivers. The spiritual detective! I want to stop him,
but I can’t move. I have orders to shoot you
on sight. Give me one goddamn reason
I shouldn’t kill you right now! Ugh, my nemesis! Give me one goddamn reason
I shouldn’t kill you right now! Love. ♪♪ Yeah, it sure is hot,
Flying Dimension Bear. ♪♪ [ Mumbling ] ♪♪ So, what’ll you have? Flaming Nachos of Bethlehem. I’m here for Jesus H. You know this.
Spare me the core-malities. Hey, Jesus Christ, I think
someone’s here to see you. ♪♪ Flying Bear, don’t embarrass me
in front of Jesus Christ. Just shut up. Huh, Stigmeetos. You’re not an easy man to find. You just had to look
inside yourself. Come soak your feet,
my baby child. It’s refreshing in here. ♪♪ These little nibblers
are adorable. Those fish seem to love
your feet, Makasu. Ooh! I’ve heard tale of your
legendary sports prowess, and I just hope
you’d come to play with me. Of course. Seek and ye shall find. Hands. ♪♪ Let’s play. What’s that in your ear? Oh.
A bowling ball. Oh, wow! Still don’t want anything? Nah. This will be over soon,
Nachos of Bethlehem. I respect that.
You know yourself. [ Grunting ] Strike follow point! Bowling! Cwwoo! ♪♪ Oooh! Great job, Makasu. Oh! Unh. I just love this game. ♪♪ This is silly, Jesus. You could never catch up
with me. I’ve already won. But you’re wrong, Makasu. Tell me how many pins you see. Seven. No, Makasu. 7 times 70. That is my father’s love
for you. But how can Lord love me? Thief of many relics, who has come here yet
to challenge and defeat. How is heaven above full of
so much glow of love? One is loved
because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. I’ve been focused
on the wrong thing. No one has ever
loved me this way. Ooh. [ Chirping ] No, please, Flying Bear. Maybe Bendy Rivers —
I’ve not been a bad man. I’ve wanted to mean something. Accumulating. Just to matter, but in the end, I should probably
just be taken for who I am. And forgive myself. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Sniffles ]
Even here, in this outer dimensional
in-between worlds of the Incans, the sun shines bright. Maybe the key is having
something to look forward to. ♪♪ Makasu? Gone again. Nothing left
but flattened grass, and I — hold on. You can’t be serious. Of all the dumb things you
could do, of all the gullible — Two years ago, Bethlehem. You bowl against Jesus Christ
and score a perfect game, leaving his wrists gaping
as you snag the Stigmata. Oh, God. How could I be
so easily tricked? Makasu doesn’t learn lessons
from weaker opponents. He murders them! Bendy, it’s your wife.
I think we should separate. I’ve been emotionally cheating
on you with a man from Texas who has a cool farm
and motorcycles. [ Beep ] ♪♪ ♪ You, like always try to be
like the wind ♪ ♪ Suddenly how the love
touched me ♪ ♪ Following angels,
flying in the rainbows ♪ ♪ Bring me peacefully ♪ ♪ Sleep in your arms ♪ ♪ Just believe in me,
as I wished going free ♪ ♪ Taking through the past
to see, ♪ ♪ stop the future in my feet ♪ ♪ Being strangers, please ♪ ♪ Don’t rain in our sunny sky ♪ ♪ Wrote this song,
with love, to say goodbye ♪ ♪ For the reasons I’ve got ♪ ♪ There are no regrets
to show ♪ ♪ How the deeper heartless
could be left behind ♪ ♪ Ahhhhhhhhh, ooh, aaah ♪ ♪ We always fall down ♪ ♪ You try, but it’s nice
to say goodbye ♪ ♪ Me, as I wished going free ♪ ♪ Taking through the past
to see ♪ ♪ Stop the future
in my feet ♪ ♪ Being strangers, please
don’t rain in our sunny sky ♪ ♪ Wrote this song,
with love, to say goodbye ♪ ♪♪ Woman: That was a very good
song, I like that, yeah. [ Glass shattering ] Oh. Well it’s a —
I was trying to. I can’t get the drift of it. With the different sports
and the different locations and the different characters
that you’re putting in there. I guess the summary was this
young man that was into sports and he was trying
different areas to perform, and different kinds of sports
to perform like tennis and — what was the other?
I can’t remember. Seemed like a — Well anyways, mainly tennis,
I think, yeah. So that was what I thought
it was, this young man trying to their
best and win against all odds. People take maybe
winning too serious and they don’t really
enjoy the moment when they’re
participating in it, and it’s all about winning
and not experiencing the time they’re actually
participating. That’s what — the thing now
is mindfulness. Have you ever heard
of mindfulness? And I think that’s kind of
something new that’s just come up
in the last several years, and I think mindfulness
is being in the moment and the moment
that you’re in it instead of thinking about what
happened or what’s gonna happen, but trying to say
right at the time that you’re actually
living in the moment. I don’t know what else —
how else to say it. Is that your voice on the —
-Man: On the main character? The whole time? Yeah, I’m Makasu. Oh, you —
Yeah, it is your voice. I didn’t really recognize
that voice. Didn’t recognize your voice
with that — Well that — that was —
that’s good. I mean, it was very in — I could understand
everything you were saying. Will people get annoyed
by that voice after a while? No.
I didn’t. No, it wasn’t annoying at all. It was a pleasant voice. It’s not — I didn’t get
annoyed by your voice. Three cartons in there
a couple of days ago, but there’s only one
in there now. ♪♪ There’s only one. Va-nil-la. I prefer that to any other
and then sometimes put
chocolate sauce on it. Hersheshies. Syrup. ♪♪ Makasu’s bones ache
after merging so hard, but sex, drugs,
and rock-hard fake breasts all cloud Makasu’s judgment. Turn into primordial soup for “Gammeu Setto Machu
Picchu Chapter 5: Foot Fault.” [ Grunting ]
So, Doc, what’s the verdict? I wanna have a baby boy! Well, the good news is your
sperm count is off the charts. You’ve got more swimmers
than theTitanic.That’s stupid.
Is there bad news? Yes, it looks like some of
your genetic material has been damaged. It’s as if someone got rid
of all your genes related to the sport of tennis. What?! No!
Damn you, Keke! Whoa, calm down.
Who’s Keke? Sounds like the name of a shoe. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ I never told you this ’cause
I didn’t want to seem braggy. As a child, I was a tennis
singles world champion. My main rival was
a Bolivian boy named Keke. He nearly defeated me
in my final match. But I used my big,
fast arms to win. As I scored the winning point, he stabbed each of my testicles
with an ancient device. It is my duty to protect
the ancient gods from your offspring! He yelled as he stabbed
each of my testicles with an ancient device. I didn’t think much of it
at the time, and I still don’t. Okay, time for Korea. I’ve got to pay more attention
to what I’m shooting at. Please help me. They killed my dad and my mom and my neighbors
and the birds in those trees. Sorry, baby boy,
we Americans are leaving. I wanna have a baby boy! Ah!
I feel bad. Huuuuh! Hey, kid, get used to
calling me “new cooler Dad.” Because I’m gonna let you
eat sugary cereals and stay awake all night watching scary movies that
stir up your wartime traumas. Here, have some hard
Army bread. In America we eat bread and we’re allowed to wear
clothes that aren’t beige. Yep, it’s live free or die hard,
and dying’s for commies. I spent weeks teaching that poor
bastard child my Western morals,
but he just wouldn’t listen. Who was the 15th
U.S. President? -Millard Fillmore?
-Wrong! How much water does
the Hoover Dam? Fuh-Five? Wrong again!
Give me that! You don’t deserve bread. Wha.
What the? Whoa. My hands pass through. But you didn’t die and now
your wife is pregnant. How many sons do we have? The truth is, none. But also four. And only one of them will live. We’ve done the Super Sportsman
Cloning Project in a Polish laboratory. There is a curse in your genes, and playing God
can only do so much. Playing Gods? That’s when I decided
I would make sure whatever clone bastard offspring I had would spend
a lot of time playing Rac-quet-ball
with their grandfather to make up for poor genes. Also maybe some of this
was a dream. I’m the main character’s
grandfather as a young man. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ The death of Catequil and Kon
has caused the skies to rage, which may be helpful
in our ritual, but dangerous. These eyes will open up a space that a bridge can go
through to Hanan Pacha. I mean, you say eyes,
God of Tennis, but those look more like
titties from uh — ugh, I’m sorry I said that thing
about titties just now. Can I talk to you
about something? Chirp? Yeah. I didn’t tell you this, but after we did
the defeat of Ekeko, the Chair Umpire
flew me around. Chair told me I’d be absorbing
the spirits of the Gods who had passed after
I had defeated them. Huh? Oh!
Chirp?! And that’s never happened
to me before, God of Tennis. I’ve defeated so many spirits
and Gods and ancient things, but never have I done
an absorb suck power move. Sure, right. I feel Supay in my bones,
Ekeko in my laugh — like there’s untapped power in their spirits
sleeping inside me. But I’m too terrified
to channel it or even admit to myself
that they live within me. Yeah.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Is this an Incan-specific
related phenomenon? Hmm. I’m not sure if
I’m listening to this. So many firsts
on this adventure. You helped me conquer
my fear of tennis, we merged and became
a super mega form, I started drinking whiskey, and now the echoes
of your old God friends are dancing like slutty marbles
in my skin. I’ve been actively repressing
them every chance I can. Ahh. I don’t know if it makes me
feel weird. To have the memory of my victims dancing like slutty marbles
in me. Mm-hmm.
That’s good. -Huh.
-Repress everything. Uh, but thanks
for telling me. Sure.
Right. Oh, well.
That’s fine. Right. I know you keep pushing me. Yeah. But sometimes. Mm-hmm. When I’m exhausted, like
after the merge we just did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I start doubting whether or not
I was even meant to do this. I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I’m just suppose
to not give up, even if Fate itself
has destined me for failure. Listen, I’ve said it
over and over. Just stop caring
and pursue treasures and kill anyone
who gets in the way. Just relax. Now give me a hug. [ Chirp ] ♪♪ We’re here.
The Upper World. Chirp-chirp. Your tendons must be all sore. Go rest in the warm water.Strange: I don’t remember this
large hotel complexbeing near the hot springs.Ha-ha-ha!
Wow! Look at all this
great pork hot tub. Oh, my [bleep] wet pork! Are these hot tubs
we can relax in as people? Chirp-chirp! Hot Tub! Chirp, chirp! Ha!
Zip! Fwim! Whoo! That’s right. Melt those
feelings away, Makasu. Ooh!
Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Wow! Ah, ha-ha! Hoo, boy. That last match really took it
out of my loins. Thanks for leading us here.
I’m getting all buttery! [ Cooing, chirping ] The hot springs of Hanan Pacha have resurrected
many a traveller. Ooh, found the bubble spot! Get in there,
you little bitches. Yeah, do it.
Do it. Yeah, do it, ya little bubbles. Yes!
Enjoy the bubbles! Shut up, I’m beeping
the bubble — Ooh, bubble! [ Flute playing ] Wuh? What was that noise? Whoa! A musical melody? Look! [ Giggling ] Who are you girls? Were you watching me
do bumble hump? Hey, they seem to like you. [ Splashing ] ♪ We heard your moans,
young Makasu ♪ Oh, wow! ♪ And sprung to life
to adore you ♪ ♪ Each of us represents
an alluring stereotype ♪ Singing, hmm, huh. ♪ Nyan Nyan Kitty Maid,
feline grace ♪ ♪ Bookish Nell wants
to read your face ♪ ♪ And Fire Ishi
knows of danger ♪ ♪ Yet can’t resist
this naked stranger ♪ ♪ Stay with us forever ♪ ♪ Give up your quest ♪ ♪ We’ll pleasure every
centimeter of your chest ♪ ♪ Sports are for losers ♪ ♪ We know what’s best ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ ♪ Stay with us forever ♪ ♪ But first decide ♪ ♪ Which one
of us you’d like ♪ ♪ To be your bride ♪ ♪ Don’t make us fight you ♪ ♪ Just pick a side ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ ♪♪ ♪ I like thick boys
with hygiene for days ♪ ♪ I can sense you’re educated
by your worldly gaze ♪ ♪ Did you know that oily rags
can lead to a blaze? ♪ ♪ Even proper ventilation ♪ ♪ Cannot stop
smoke inhalation ♪ ♪ Stay with us forever ♪ ♪ Don’t make us beg ♪ ♪ Your surrender will engender
us to stroke your leg ♪ ♪ Tennis is a sham no matter
what that guy says ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ ♪ Sleep with us forever ♪ ♪ Make your pick ♪ ♪ You want a kitty
or a bookworm ♪ ♪ or sound safety tips? ♪ ♪ We need an answer or we
will [bleep] up your shit! ♪ ♪ Makasu-u-u ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ What a conundrum. I want to complete this journey, but these babes are,
ugh, saying otherwise. They were awfully
dismissive of tennis.Hmm. That bothers me.One of my few
remaining weaknesses — sins of the flesh! Makasu, the choice is clear. Makasu, the choice is clear. And the choice is me,
oh, wise one. This reminds me
of ventriloquism. Yeah.
That’s what I do. I’m the ventriloquist. Gabe, it’s cool.
You can go. Yeah, it’s weird now.My aunt and uncle who raised me
never approved of me“throwing my voice.”Called it the warlock’s tongue.Lashed me all strung up
in their beer cellarand left me
hanging upside down, my bleeding skin nourishing
their microbrew homestyle for all their
bearded friends. ♪♪ [ Gasps ]
What a messy boy! Look at all these dirty things.If he doesn’t clean up his room
soon, he might get grounded.How will a messy boy make it
to the spring carnival and find his true love
on the Ferris wheel if he can’t leave his home? Aww. Nyan Nyan Kitty Maid
is here to save the day! Starting to clean is hard. But once you start,
it can be lots of fun. Say what you will
about Rivers, but he certainly
does have an imagination. And the facts are this. He riddled that entire hotel with cameras and microphones
all wired up. So many close calls.
It’s — It’s hard to have hope. But this time it’s just overly
intricate and evolved enough. And what a costume. What a costume! Agh! Relax! It’s just such a — ugh! Relax! To get close so many times, I just need to release it all beforehand so I don’t
get disappointed. We have more to worry about. I’m nervous for
Agent Bendy Rivers.Nervous for Agent Bendy Rivers?He’s four and a half layers up. Yeah. Here in the Incan heavens. Hanan Pacha it seems
to be called. But all previous celestial
satellite imagery shows this land
was only hot springs. Maybe it’s a new hotel. If it is, it’s very new. A very new hot spring hotel. Strange. And look! Energy readings for more babes. Yeah, but Rivers is just
pretending to be a babe. It’s not that simple! These additional babes, they seem to be
appearing out of nowhere. Multiplying
at some odd rate. I’m worried. I farted a little bit. And I don’t see them
on camera yet. Just shadows in the corners. Babes just out of sight. As far as I’m concerned
if these babes slow down Makasu,
that’s a good thing. I’m just nervous about all
the potential babes. Things are not what they seem
with these babes. Dirty clothes go in the hamper. Toys into the toy chest. All the school work
goes in your backpack. And all this goes
in the garbage. Yuck!
[ Purring ] You hear Sonia and Bendy
are separating? Yeah, divorce is awkward. ♪♪ So what’re you into these days? Music, I think. I like that.
I like that. Agh! This is a fun hot spring. I like the peppermint
flavor part. Reminds me of, uh,
Christmastime. I use to suck on the spear —
the spear end of the stick. That’s disgusting. Make it sharp. [ Chirping ] Yup. I didn’t have many friends,
but I’d walk around the creek and I’d poke the eyes
out of squirrels. Real serial-killer stuff. What? I was wild. Oh, yeah, seems like — What do you think of this one? Well, it’s kind of wet. My stepdad really likes saunas. [ Chirping, cooing ] ♪♪ I don’t know why something being
just uncomfortably hot enough is hot and aw–
is great. Yeah. And it, well, the contrast
with the weather outside. Oh, well, that’s true.
That is kind of nice. Like the different feel — the different feeling
of the weather outside except when you’re
in the hot water. Yeah, yeah, like you can get out
and come back in if you’re feeling cold. Nice and brisk. Yeah. See, that’s what I like about this hot spring right now is Winter-Wonderland-themed
with the peppermint. Yeah, I do like the peppermint. Oh, this one’s cool.
Jungle world. Oh, wow!
Look at all the vines. I like the lemurs. Aw, yeah. Lemurs live in the jungle,
right? Yes. Oh, wow! That’s very interesting. You ever — Flying Bear likes this one. Yes, yeah.
I, uh, I found this leaf. Cool.
All right. ♪♪ I’m bored of you talking. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go underwater. [ Blowing ] Uh. Whaaa. Oh. They’re touching me in the leg. Ha-ha-ha, motorboat. Yeah. You can make your own bubbles. Uh, oh, well, oh, all right,
here I go. [ Blowing ] ♪♪ Oh, wow, you’re doing
a flashlight. Whoa! Yes, look at it. I didn’t realize your [bleep]
is a flashlight. Whoa! I’m gonna click it. Here we go. Whoa! I just wanna keep
flipping the switch. Whoa! Well, go ahead. Nice. Man, I could just lie
in this one forever. Oh, yes! The theme here
is Vegas gambling. Gambling? Vlegas — Vlegas gambling. Oh. Flay-gless gambling. All right, let’s go to the
Big Bang Theoryslot machine. I like how this hot spring
is just Tomatillo sauce. Whoa! Yes! Hmm. I’ve got this. Oh, okay. Sure. ♪♪ I could definitely
get used to this. Oh! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Yes, I almost find my mind
escaping me while I’m here. Like I’m reminded of
“first love’s kiss.” Excuse me! Just getting any
cobwebs off of you that I can. Uh, you can leave my cobwebs.
It’s all good. Bye! We can afford to rest
just one night, I think. Have a good time catching
Z’s like the band ZZ Top. God of Tennis,
ZZ Top is the band with the big, ugly beards. Both:
Good night, time pals! I’ll see you in the morning,
if you know what I mean. After we sleep! [ Sighs ] What a time this all has been. At least I have a room
all to myself. [ Sobbing ]Who could this mound
of wiggling blankets be?A spy?Hyah! Makasu.A spy?Since we’re not in front
of the other girls, I don’t wanna
be subtle anymore. There’s a fire in my landclam
and my hose can’t put it out.Uh, this is so awesome,but I can’t get a boner
right nowafter merging so hard.Please be waiting spread. I’m gonna go see
if I can boner pill. Uh, find some. Uh! Ooh, um, uh, okay, shoot. Uh, apologies! I was so absorbed in my books. They’re all by Umberto Eco. Hyugh!
Nothing gets me wetter than Italian semioticians! [ Both moaning ] [ Moans echoing ] Uh, sorry, I can’t easily
have sex right now! Ah, he’s leaving. Huh? Can I help you?Another woman? Uh.How come I haven’t met you yet? Hmmm.
Are you a sick boy? Oh I dropped mommy’s pen
down my puff puff. [ Distorted groaning ] What the hell?!
You pervert! Huh? [ Grunts ] But I secretly have
a very angry crush on you. Also, I’m a camouflaged sniper. How many ladies even live here
in this hotel? Ah. Oh, aren’t you a beautiful,
passionate, sneaky man. I am a very sexy plant lady. Holy heck! Ah, my God! Agh!
Women, ladies, ah! ♪ You can never leave us ♪ ♪ Why even try? ♪ So many ladies! ♪ We’ll capture
then enrapture you ♪ ♪ No need to fight ♪ ♪ Give us your body
and do what’s right ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ ♪ Run, run, little coward,
from the female gaze ♪ ♪ We’ll eat your beating heart
then set your body ablaze ♪ ♪ Destroying your flesh is
the highest form of praise ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ ♪ Makasu ♪ Ow!
Dude!The ventriloquist!Listen, man, who the heck
are all these ladies? Earlier there was only
three babes when you were singing their song,
and now there’s like at least two more babes
and one’s a plant. And now I’m seeing, uh, there’s a bunch of scary eyes
in the forest. The implication being there
are dozens of more ladies. I don’t know. There aren’t many good gigs
out here for a singing ventriloquist. I responded to the ad
just ’cause I needed money. To be real with you, this hot spring hotel
wasn’t even here yesterday. When I got here, it was growing
out of the clouds in the moonlight, like silver
spears of distracting sin. I was alone. And then, these women appeared. They told me I had to sing
for a sportsman. What the hell
is happening?! I needed money! No one hires ventriloquists! [ Labored breathing ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Groans ] Huh!
Don’t tell me! All the women in this hot
spring hotel are made of meat! They’re treating the meat
like women! Huh! You can’t imagine how hard it was
to sneak into here. Doing this whole good
girl kitty cleaning act. Nyan Nyan Kitty Maid? Uh! You fool! That was just a disguise! Oh, wow! I slipped in behind you guys
when you summoned the rainbow lightning
to Hanan Pacha, quickly disguised myself
in whatever outfit I had on hand, found a ventriloquist who was hired to serenade you
with two women hiding underwater and wrote him lyrics
after bribing him to include me in the song. But, oh, am I glad to be away
from those creepy ladies, that flying bear,
and your strange God friend. No one here to help you
anymore! Bendy, I think
you need to shut up ’cause I think we’re in
for a world of plaster pain! If these ladies find out
you’re a secret lady, not one of the real ladies
of these fake ladies, we’re going to be
in a slit pants forest cudge! No!
No tricking me now! Woman: Aaah! You ruined everything! Hyah! Ah!
[ Gunshots ] ♪♪ Why couldn’t you have just
kissed them and been a good boy? ♪♪ Uh, crawling on my hands, uh. Time to use you well,
sweet little racket. Makasu, I took a nighttime
soak in the hot tub and realized all the women
we’ve seen weren’t real but made up
with silver moon magic and all of this has been a trap
set by Mama Killa to use a meat army of women she’s created to distract you
with hot tubs and sex and stop you from winning
this tennis adventures. At the same time, Bendy Rivers,
the mortal detective, pretended to be
one of the women, but he wasn’t able
to interfere much because he’s just
a normal man, and your tennis adventure
is on a far bigger cosmic scale than his small existence
and maybe, just maybe, he needs to accept
that he’s a speck among stars and, Makasu, you’re brilliant. I — Oh, I see you’ve, uh,
learned yourself. Who is she?
Flying Bear! [ Chirp ] She’s Mama Killa.
The moon. Ah. Narrator: Mama Killa — M-A-M-A K-I-L-L-A —
in Quechua, Mama Killa’s name directly
translates to “mother moon.” The sister and wife of sun God
Inti and daughter of Viracocha, Mama Killa was considered the third power in
Inca mythology. ♪♪ Though primarily affiliated
with the moon, Mama Killa is also
a goddess of marriage and the menstrual cycle,
considered a defender of women. She also oversaw time
and the calendar, due to the fact
that many rituals and feasts were based upon
the lunar cycle. Silver was the metal
of Mama Killa, and gold for her husband, Inti. It was said this gold
was the sweat of the sun and silver the tears of the moon as they toiled
and wept on behalf of humanity. Both sacred metals,
and both seen as opposites sides yet equally vital parts of life,
the masculine and the feminine, which required each other just as much as day
required the night. The Inca had a story
about Mama Killa that accounted
for the dark spots visible on the moon’s face. A fox fell in love with her
because of her admirable beauty, but when he rose into the sky
to meet Mama Killa… ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ …she squeezed him so hard, patches were created
upon the moon’s face. ♪♪ ♪♪ Eclipses were seen as
spiritually frightening events, and specifically lunar eclipses were associated with Mama Killa
being in danger. That, perhaps, an animal like
a snake or mountain lion would be attacking her. Because of this, attempts were
made to scare away this attacker by throwing weapons,
gesturing violently, and making a lot of loud noise
during these celestial events. If the animal were to win
its battle with Mama Killa, it was believed that world
would be left in darkness. Even after the Spanish
conquered the Inca, traditions around eclipses
persisted in native beliefs. Because of this, the Spanish
could use their understanding of astronomy
to their advantage and predict when eclipses would take place,
earning great respect and possibly fear
from the population. At night, Mama Killa hovers
sweetly in the air, a reminder of celestial
empathy and care, that even when the sun
disappears from view, the Gods are with us,
loving. ♪♪ Ahhhhh! ♪♪ You maggot. Despicable leeching trash. People have preyed on
this continent for centuries. Whatever, Mama Killa. You know what I’m here for. To finish the job. But you will fail!This Goddess
is serious business,also with very serious thighs!Hyah! How about I give you
first serve? Hyah.
Ow! I’m not gonna let you score
even once. Ouch! Ooh!
Ow! [Bleep] yeah, burns just
like the moon burning. Quit poking her moon ball.
You’ll damage your fingers.True, I’ll damage my fingers,and I need them
for tennis finger.Huwahh! ♪♪I loved my son.A squirming little child,a slug of love in my arms,and with every cute yawn,
a gust of wind would comeand blow the hair
out of my eyes.Fwaauuhhh! ♪♪ [ Sniffle-snort ] How does it feel to kill
someone’s son? A small wind boy? Ah!
Gah, my foot! I’ve got a feeling
your son Kon was, like, almost permanently
in a child form because you don’t age
like me, normal boy, does. I went form boy to adult. But, what I’m saying is
it’s arbitrary for you to say, “Oh, you’ve killed a boy”
when he’s been a boy since like four hundred million
years ago. I don’t really care. Ah! Gahhh!
Clearly! [ Sobbing ]
You monster! Stomping through and leaving
a scorched mess wherever you go. You nightmare!
You monster! You little worm!How do I pick up this ball?It burns like the moon.Hey, slimeball! Aren’t you listening to me? Back pocket dimension
Flying Bear? Do Daddy a solid
and hold the ball for me. Uh. It’s hot, but I don’t care
if you hurt. Thanks! [ Disheartened chirps ] Just a couple practice swings. Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Huah, huah! Okay.
Phew. I think I’m ready! [ Chirping ] The big match between
Mama Killa and Makasu, a tennis dilemma with, uh,
who knows whatever happens!Hmpf.
You’ve got this, Makasu.♪♪ Now! Grab! Moon! Smash! Hueh! ♪♪ Hah! [ Grunting ] Menstrual star child! Menstrual star child? The next stage of life! Hyaaah! Agh, gosh! Uh! Oh, no. [ Chirp ] Agh! Luckily we had
my bucket of spit. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Panting ]
So much power! Let it burrow
in your wretched skull! Wipe your thoughts and memories from existence! Uughhh.
I gotta think! [ Smug chuckle ] Whoo, unh! What a pathetic hit! Are you burnt out already? [ Groaning ] ♪♪ [ Echoing ]
Spit bucket hyooo!Huh?
Did he return the ball?[ Steam hissing ] Hmpf!
There it is! ♪♪ [ Scream echoing ] No, Star Child! ♪♪ It’s mine now. My fertility? [ Groaning ] ♪♪ Huahhhh! Power float down. Huahhhh. I’ve been sucking in
your god-family’s energy this whole journey,
Mama Killa, and I figured maybe this once,
instead of being afraid, I could actively use
that to defeat you. You were so intent on killing me
outright, after all. How did you — But you needed
to be vulnerable, which is why I made the steam
with my spit-bucket move. During your blindness, my Back
Pocket Dimension Flying Bear flew into
my back pocket dimension. Flying Bear covered itself
with a plastic bag in order to protect itself from
the power of the sesho-seki, the Japanese killing stone that
I won from the Shinto spirits when I defeated them
in Ultimate Frisbee. I always thought it was
too difficult to use, seeing as it kills anything
it touches directly but I confused your little
menstruation star child with a curveball
swerve serve technique, and it grazed its finger
destroying the star child and leaving your uterus open
for my hands to reach in. [ Groaning ] Shhh. Shush, just die. Game! Set! Match! Bleblugbuhbelbhebheughbleh! ♪♪ ♪♪ Wow! Now I know get
what heaving feels like. This is a wacky turn of events. You look very good. [ Cooing ] Back Pocket Dimension’s
using my titties as a bedroom for sleeping! What a sweet boy slut,
horny boy. Shhh, shhh.
You can sleep for three minutes before I wake you up
with a scream. You — you look very good. Like a ripe fig.Cool it, man.Sexuality almost tempted Makasuin Mama Killa’s
Don’t let itcloud your judgment.
Uh.Will this be harder
than I thought?143, 142, 141, 140. That’s it!
I’ve had it!Bendy Rivers!
My nemesis!Hyugh. Every time no matter
what happens, you wiggle out! Agh! This whole plan,
this whole outfit, I corner you for once and this whole thing
literally comes crumbling down! But, Bendy, you can’t do a
shoot me if your gun fell down. No, shh.
The Chilean man is yelling. Just try and sleep
through it, okay? No!
You’re just ignoring me! Bendy, can you please
keep it down? My Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear slave is only allowed to sleep
several minutes a day because I am a cruel owner
and master, okay? 73, 72, 71, 70, 69 — hehe — 68, 67, 66, 65, 64.Bendy: No.
I have to let go.I haven’t been happy
for a decade.All to fail at arresting you. You’ve tricked me, hurt me,
broke me. Makasu, you win. I don’t really care. Can you send me back to Earth? Of course, mortal. ♪♪ -My sweet Almendra?
-Bendy?I don’t want to be separated. I don’t want to divorce.
-No, no, no.I’m sorry, you can’t
just decide that. This is a relationship.
A conversation.L-let me finish.I found out who I want to be. I don’t want to waste
any more time away from you.I appreciate you saying this,
but…I want to come home and be a Nyan Nyan Kitty Maid
for our family. Being dressed like this
pretty kitty maid is the happiest
I’ve ever felt. Will you have me, Sonia,even if I’m
a Nyan Nyan Kitty Maid?Like a cat? Listen, come home. Let’s take a walk in the park.
We can talk about it.I’ll be a stay at home
kitten maid nyan nyan.I do still love you. I’m sorry. Makasu: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,
4, 3, 2, 1. Huahhh! You, uh, you look very good. Like a — Like a ripe fig. Thanks, babe. Huah! Time keeps moving along like a timid night lamp. The treasure of South America
feels so close though. You’re really doing your best. Chair Umpire, back when
we first met, you were right. This has been my most
difficult challenge yet.This may be your most difficult
challenge yet, Makasu.Whoa! Are you saying
I’m mentally challenged?I gotta admit when I told you that you were gonna absorb
the Gods you defeated, I didn’t realize
you’d find a way to use it to win at tennis. It’s true.
I might’ve suppressed it. Just like the God of Tennis
tells me to do with all my feelings. But now I have a few
extra X chromosomes because of the power
of Mama Killa. Though I refuse to master
the powers of wind, electricity,
or water, or death. Those Gods aren’t as fun
as the power of interest me in the femininity. Speaking of suppressing,
God of Tennis, are you trying to hide
your wet dream you just had? You should probably tuck
your downstairs pants [bleep] away,
you little naughty boy. I’m good!
I’m fine now. I’m normal again. Hold on, guys. As a chair umpire, I am an impartial judge
to the events occurring, but it does not stop me
from celebrating your successes, which is why I’ve brought
you the gift of dance. Look at the tennis court now. Oh, look, this part must be
when I beat Ekeko in tennis by giving him
a fractal gift. Yeah, yes, and now we go
underwater, I think. Or was it the underworld? We went to the sky though too
and defeated Kon in the other one. No, Supay was the underworld
I think. He had shiny eyes. Sexy eyes.
Guh. You have kind of sexy eyes
as well. Right, no, sexy eyes, and this
is the part of the dance where you saved me by showing
that his sexy eyes were actually
not big sexy eyes but actually really
tiny ugly tiny eyes. And now the dancers
confront the tricky colon. The wormy dancer is pretending
to be eaten by the you-looking dancer. Oh, yeah, cool. And there being
a frozen pisco sour drink now to beat Mama Cocha
at the game of tennis. We sure have gotten ourselves
out of some tight binds. Mostly I did all the work,
but I guess you were also there. Now we go into the sky? This seems out of order. It doesn’t matter. The dances are pretty
self-contained. I like how one dancer is up
on the shoulders like that. Ahh. But watch out. Here comes Mama Killa
to avenge the other Gods. Yeah, right, God of Tennis. Don’t pretend you don’t remember
that I just now beat Mama Killa at tennis
by doing a spit-bucket trick, killing the star baby
with a death rock, and stealing her fertility. We just did that five
minutes ago. And see, now that
the dancers danced that they’re just standing there dancing the dance of us
standing. That was a very good
recap dance. ♪ Don’t give up ♪ ♪ On your dreams ♪ ♪ Never be awake ♪ ♪ Sleep forever ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Generic Ambien ♪ ♪ Tune out the rest ♪ ♪ It’s your sleepy quest ♪ ♪ Waking up is overrated ♪ ♪ Words get scrambled,
not translated ♪ ♪ Social bonds so fabricated ♪ ♪ And real life
feeling isolated ♪ ♪ Dream time ain’t adulterated ♪ ♪ Souls, they ain’t
eviscerated ♪ ♪ Do-do, do-do, do-dated ♪ ♪ Oh, I already stated ♪ ♪ Don’t give up
on your dreams ♪ ♪ Never be awake ♪ ♪ Sleep forever ♪ ♪ Mommy needs just five
more minutes ♪ ♪ Sleep can solve
any endeavor ♪ ♪ Don’t give up
on your dreams ♪ ♪ Never be awake
and sleep forever ♪ ♪ Bills pay themselves
in your dreams ♪ ♪ Leave out the food ♪ ♪ Your kids are clever ♪ ♪ It’s okay ♪ ♪ Just let go of your ♪ ♪ Bodily functions ♪ ♪ Your brain now ♪ ♪ Sentient being ♪ ♪ You don’t need ♪ ♪ Bodily functions ♪ ♪♪ [ Garbled voice ] [ Garbled voice ] [ Garbled voice ] [ Garbled voice ] ♪♪ Huh!
How about that? El Presidente. Which camera am I looking at? Hi.
I’m Maxime Simonet. I’m the creator and director
of this piece, also the star. I play Makasu, and I’d like
to thank you for listening to me talk
for five hours so far. And being five hours
into such an ep– Let’s wait for them to leave. ♪♪ My mother Vicky Whiting, and my father [bleep]. Without them
I wouldn’t have been conceived. Uh, special thanks
to this brand of cola. Special thanks to Hideo Kojima, who I think is
a large influence for me and has such an autistic way of telling stories
that really resonates — [ Background music
stops abruptly ] So, should we close
that door here? [ Music resumes ]
Special thanks to these shoes I’ve worn for about
two years now. Falling apart. Shoelaces are nothing.
If you look inside, I don’t even think
the bottom is on correctly. It looks like some horny dog
just took a bite out of this. It looks like some starving
animal took a bite out of this. Special thanks to Vietnam. I mean, not Vietnam —
“Venture Bros.”, which took a break
on production, a long hiatus, to make sure
we could execute this project, which has so far
cost $4 million, and as you see this graphic
on the screen the number keeps going up. Special thanks to the hours
of hentai animations I’d watch online, mainly when
I was in high school, programs such as “Bible Black,” where those sisters
were [bleep] each other. Am I allowed to say that?
We all love sisters. I mean, like what — it’s like
they have sisterly love but also they’re making
each other nut. Eva Angelina — I think it was like a cam–
like, she was on web cam, and when she was gonna orgasm,
she said “I’m gonna nut.” And I still [bleep]. But pretty funny when a girl
says she’s gonna nut. Like, good for her. Special thanks to
the remaining hour of “Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu,”
which honestly, is gonna — I think it’s gonna be
really enlightening to some young white men
out there. Please get on Pornosite,
upload all of this onto Pornosite, make sure
people can watch this with the commercials
on Pornosite. I wanna see
those comments go up. I wanna see dickgiggler76
write down in the comments, “Whoa… not really hot, but, dang, I love this.” Narrator: Few Gods remain on
Makasu’s greatest journey into tennis treasures. A towering broken creator deity threatens to crush
all of his dreams. But are his worst fears
within his friend group? Break your TV into four pieces
and then [bleep] the pieces. ♪♪ ♪♪ Hmm. Looks like we’re going
straight through the place. Mm-hmm.
Looks like it. Yes. Straight.
Mm-hmm. Viracocha was
the supreme god, created everything
in the Incan mythos. But he journeyed across
the Pacific, never to be seen again… Hmm. …until he returned
and retired here, among the roots and the sea foam
and the wrinkle rocks. His age honestly made him
a burden to the younger gods. Ugh.
No, don’t remind me. Old people. Ugh.
The worst of all age groups. [ Thinking ]Hmm.
Except for my grandfather.♪♪ ♪ Everything is light ♪ ♪ Everything is light ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Closer than Heaven
and the underlay of things ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Everything is light ♪ ♪ Everything is light ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Closer than Heaven and
the underlay of thi-i-i-i-ngs ♪ ♪♪ [ Singing in Japanese ] [ Chirps ] ♪♪ ♪ War breaks out every day ♪ ♪ War breaks out every day ♪ ♪ In the sunshine ♪ ♪♪ [ Singing in Japanese ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Wind howling ] [ Bird screeches ] [ Snake slithers ] [ Quacks ] Viracocha’s primordials
line these halls. I’ve always found them…
unsettling. You’re just being
a scaredy-pussy, God of Tennis. Oh, my God,
what was that? Ooh! Ooh! What was that? Huh? Ohh.
[ Shudders ] ♪♪ [ Hookah bubbles ] Ah, this is
some good stuff. Ahh, I just love
the bump-bump. Like when you stir —
you spoon around a macaroni, and it makes
that squishy noise. I wish
this was forever. Bump-bump for the rest
of my life. God, I’m so happy. King Statue:
It’s not their fault. I mean, I-I told them
to do this. I told them to do
their bump-bump happy place. I didn’t tell them
that it’s all gonna be over in about 25 minutes. Look at them go,
just bump-bump. I mean, I love bump-bump. I wish I could be bump-bumping
right now. Yeah,
bump-bump’s great. But, you know,
I’ve got the truth inside. And you know the truth just drives me right up
like an arid winter. It’s fine that I’m dry. I’ve been here before.
Many times. Few things
get me out of it. But, you know, here I am.
Dry. And the fabric
of our slot in time is about to be ripped
right before us. And none of those guys know. They don’t know.
Weknow. You changed the world,
Robert. There’s no stopping this.
It’s time. Everything ends, Robert.
And everything begins again. We’re just experiments. Some attempt at life. A-A blip — A blip? Mm, yeah, a blip. A blip. Blip. I like that word. Blip. Blip’s a good word. Blip. Yeah, blip. ♪♪ Ah, uh. Those damn
stone visions. It all makes sense now. Ah, forget about it. These stone giants
are just pissy that they were an earlier
attempt at existence, sad because
they aren’t real and this is
the real world… for now. That also makes sense,
I think. [ Melancholy music plays ] Thanks for touching me
sometimes. I know I can be weird about it,
but thank you. [ Chirps ] Hey, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. Me and the God of Tennis,
we just shared a vision. Isn’t that wild? Oh [ chirps ] Ugh! No, stop!
You’re being jealous, and it’s so controlling
and emotionally abusive of you, and I’ve had it up to here,
which is my neck. [ Melancholy music continues ] [ Echoing ] Who…walks…
among…the…primordial? I…cannot…see…them. Aaaaaaaaaah! Makasu: Oh, whoa. Ooh. It’s hard to hold my foot
on this. Ugh! Ugh! [ Thinking ]
Why am I holding my foot?[ Bloop! ]I should let go
of my foot.[ Grunts nervously ] I’m very bad
with rumbling pillars, the feeling
of weightlessness, like everything
will fall beneath me. Ku– [ Bloop! ]I wish I could hold my foot.Ugh!
I can’t grab my foot.Y-Y-Yes.
I understand. Thanks for letting me
hold you, pal. It helps. Viracocha: You are… very good-looking. Like…a ripe…fig. Viracocha! They’ve come
to challenge you in tennis! Hmm? They…have…come… to…tennis…you! Ten…nis. [ Rumbling ] Tennis. Sorry, he’s very old
and annoying. I was just
saying earlier that everything becomes
annoying when it’s old. Except for old dogs.
They get a little cute until they grow blood balls
all over their body and whine all the time. [ Dogs whine ] Old things
are annoying. How old are you,
Chair Umpire? 25. We…always…loved…tennis. [ Stone crackles ] Were you talking about dogs? Yeah, he just said
that old dogs aren’t as annoying
as other old things, because we’re
currently discussing how old and annoying
you are, sir. I always liked dogs. [ Thinking ]
Does the universe age?Some say I created it,but so many beings
are credited with that.Creation —
It’s a dime a dozen.Were we created
by those seeking a creator?Aaaaaaaaaaah!A back and forth
of beginnings and endings.Like a match of tennis.Chicken volleys with the egg.Something must have come
before all of that,before whatever
cycle of creationled us to being here now.An origin point?[ Twinkle! ]A birth?Does it have a beginning?Does it have an end?[ Muttering
indistinctly ] Are you… the parasite…of me? Or am I… the parasite…of you? [ Stone crackling ] Tennis.
So bright. Like…the sun. Like my son. I wonder how my son is. Viracocha — the Incan
creator of all things. Father to Mama Killa
and to Inti. Inti.
His name keeps coming up. He’s gonna be
your final opponent, if you can survive
this old piece of shit. Old, dusty shit dried. The end…is…so very soon. Aaaah! I’ve come so far, man. I’ve confronted my past,
given gifts. I’ve drank too much.
I’ve changed genders, even. My soul is a scrambled egg
of screaming losers all dancing like slutty marbles
underneath my skin. Huah! Are you prepared
to join them, sir? Perhaps. [ Warble ] My serve? Hyah!
Go ahead, sir. [ Tennis ball bounces ] Aaaaaaah! [ Stone crackling ] Oooooh-ohhhhhhhh! [ Rumbling ] [ Warbling ] Aw, man,
this is slow and boring. Hey, God of Tennis, is it rude
when I say it’s slow and boring? In most cases, I’d say,
yes, that was rude. But rudeness seems to have
fueled your drive for success, and as I’ve
always said, politeness don’t
have no place on no tennis court. Yeah, you’re right! Aaaaaaaaaaah! [ Rumbling ] [ Rumbling continues ] You know, in the time
we’ve had to wait, I-I managed to write
a few spoken-word pieces. Wow, I didn’t know
you did spoken word. Well,
it — it also just — It wasn’t even a skill I had
before we had to wait. Oh, well. [ Microphone feedback ] [ Coughs ] Thank you, uh,
for showing us that this is, indeed,
a microphone by illustrating
the feedback sound effect, Flying Bear. Now it’s my turn
to cough. Female Voice: Bristle-comb pines
live more than 5,000 years. Male Voice: Bark-ridged fingers
sunk in stone. Together: Watch the cathedrals
rise from dust… Female Voice:
And melt like sidewalk salt. Male Voice:
But they also know fire. Female Voice: And rots.
And I want to grow old. Male Voice: I want to feel
my blood cool. Let my parents’ voices drop
leaf-like from withered arms. Female Voice: There’s a dog
waiting for me at a corner. Male Voice: Rooms no one goes
where they’re young… Female Voice:
Rooms a little slower,
a little more patient. Together: And someday… Male Voice:
I will be the time of night where the streets get empty. I won’t be alive,
but I won’t be you. Female Voice: Barnacle
on the skin of the world. Male Voice:
Virus sunk in spinal fluid. Together: Unmoved. Female Voice: It’s more of
a curse to stay unchanged. Male Voice:
Crater on a windless planet. [ Fingers snapping ] [ Chirps ] [ Snap fingers ] [ Rumbling ] [ Tennis ball bounces ] Gasp! Here it comes!
Ah! Oh, man! [ Grunts ] Here it comes!
Ah! Ah, here it comes! [ Ball whooshing ] [ Twinkle! ] Oh, man! Here it comes! Here comes the ball.
Okay. [ Whooshing continues ] It is coming. [ Whooshing continues ] Narrator:
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu.” Uh, ga–
Okay, here it comes. [ Tennis ball bounces ] [ Ball whooshing ] This is much like
a — a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm? Now, Makasu,
I thinkthat’srude! Just recently, I asked you
if something else was rude. [ Thinking ]
Time has lost all meaning.[ Whistle blows ] Foul! This is very boring. And I was too nervous
to say so earlier. [ Thinking ]
That damn chair.Always nervous.[ Whistle blows ] I’ll need to check
my rule book for a very specific
ruling. ♪♪ The ball’s going
through puberty. Hey, normally, you’d think
the ball would have to drop before it goes
through puberty. Got — You know what I’m saying,
Chair Umpire? [ Whistle blows ] Please! I’m already so nervous!
Ah!That damn chair!Always nervous.[ Whistle blowing ] My ruling is that, in tennis,
we can evoke the Nap Clause. That’s right!
The famous Nap Clause. This tennis rule states
that if any volley ends in one of the players
taking a nap, all formalities
are out the window, and violent measures
are allowed to be used, but on the flip side, if someone murders
the essence of the nap itself, they become
the Saint Nap Man… [ Snoring ] …and must gift children
and adults with naps for the rest
of eternity. Yep, he’s right. [ Snorting ] Uh, uh. Everyone’s being so boring
and basic right now. It’s hard for me
staying awake. Ugh! Makasu!
You’ve fallen asleep! You’re free to use
violence to win! Whoa, violence!
Violence! Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear! [ Chirps ] Ahh!
With my mastery of T-ball, I defeated the Igbo god
of justice and war, Kamalu, and stole his sword,
the Mmaagha Kamalu. Uh, it was on the rolling
savannas of Nigeria. Legend says this sword
glows evil when red is nearby. Uh, the other way. Legend says it glows red
when evil’s nearby. I have yet to un-sheathe it, but it reminds me
of “Lord of the Rings.” Stinger, by Bilbo Baggin. [ Grunts ] This sexy piece of steel knows that a mad broken god’s
hanging around. [ Shing! ] And I guess you need to be
brought to your knees with the power
of magical Nigerian sword. [ Thinking ]Normally,
Makasu defeats gods in sportsto weaken them, and
could never match them
in straight combat,but Viracocha
is so old and boring,he stands no chance
against one of the relicsMakasu stole
from a Nigerian godthat only has one passing
mention in Wikipediawith no real
cited sources.[ Echoing ] Hyah!
Hyong! Grassland! Tremors! Of! War! I…vibrate. [ Warbling ] [ Viracocha whimpers ] [ Rumbling ] [ Hissing ] [ Gasps softly ] Goodbye. [ Sloop! ] Very good weapon.
You’re a good weapon. Who’s a good weapon?
Mwah! It’s Mmaagha Kamalu.
Mwah! Huh? Why does it
still sense evil? Chair Umpire? Aah!
Oh, man! Flying Bear?
Ah! [ Chirps ] God of Tennis?
Ah! Come on, Makasu. Makasu? It’s just
a Nigerian sword relic. AmIthe evil? The whole time? [ Breasts deflate ] Oh, no. [ Balloon deflates ] Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man. [ Breathing heavily ]
Wait, wait, wait. Makasu, wait!
Stop! I shouldn’t have listened
to you, God of Tennis. Stop! [ Grunts ] [ Sobs ] Makasu-u-u-u-u-u! [ Sobbing ] I’m evil!
I’m evil! What are you
even saying? It’s been me.
It’s been me the whole time. And you made me ignore it. Supay tried to show me, a-and, sure,
it was a tactic to weaken me to make me useless at tennis,
but it’s not like I haven’t used tricks
to make people useless and weak. A-And he was right, you know? Think of that girl, the teacher,
the — the janitor, the bully, the wife. The freaking wife, man! And — And all the gods
that just stood in my way — the Norse, Egyptian,
Japanese, Mayan, Polynesian, Greek, Indigenous,
American… the Incan. Your friends. No, no, I told you. They were aberrant.
Lost. That doesn’t make sense! Even when the heart
is in the right place, the soul of this land
is a forgotten relic. Relics!
[Bleep] relics! Maybe I wanted those relics
’cause they’re, like, a — a direct, uh,
measurement of my worth or something. It meant that
I meant something. People weren’t enough
for me to beat. No, I had to have
these nonsense trophies ’cause I don’t have
anything else tying me to anything. No family,
no one that cares about me, everyone bitterly
looking at me as some dumb overachiever
at sports. And I go around the world
busting my ass all in my 20s to just kill these gods
and take what’s theirs and beat these fabrications
of the human experience just to prove some point
that I mean something? That I’m better?
That I’m — That I’m what? That I’m what?
That I’m what?! It’s almost like tennisshould
have been the end, you know? Nice return, Makasu. Remembering my grandfather falling on
the rac-quet-ball court… Aah!
Brain! …should have stopped me,
woken me up, kinda. “You’ve done enough,
you’ve taken enough,” the sadness told me. But you, God of Tennis — You — You made me
push onwards. You twisted
my selective empathy, and you manipulated me. You wanted the treasure. They needed
to be laid to rest. Rest?
They’re inside me, like little whispers of spit
under my tongue, like slutty marbles
in my skin. I-I can’t.
This isn’t normal. None of this was normal,
but that — that’s, like, the least normal
and worst part of it all. Slap! [ Echoing ] Aah! What, did Viracocha’s
dying spirit give you an iota
of self-awareness? Or is it the fact that,
this time, you didn’t
tear your victim open with a sport,
but with a weapon? Give it up, Makasu! Slap! Aah! You’re greedy.
You covet. And you’re
ultimately alone. I know this. God of Tennis,
you’ve instilled me with affirmation
after affirmation of
my self-repression, but the very deities you’ve
helped me absorb are now… [ Sighs ]
They’re clouding me. They’re clouding me
right now. Slap! Aah! I can’t do this. Not with you…anymore. [ Sword clangs ] If I’m gonna
finish this, I can’t be confused
by your baloney. I’ll get the treasure
of South America. On my own. And then
I’ll be done with it. Don’t follow me! [ Sobbing ] [ Chirping ] ♪♪ [ Sobbing continues ] [ Thinking ]
I’m completely alone.[ Babbling indistinctly ]I have so many
conflicting feelings.Why do I have so many feelings?[ Babbling continues ] Hup!
Hup! [ Tennis ball bounces ] [ Groans ] [ Chuckles ]
Hey, a little urn. You know, I’ve always thought those kids who just traveled
around, uh, Europe and stuff — You know, I always
thought that they were
avoiding something, right? They’re not really
doing anything. And they come back, and they’re like,
“Oh, it’s such an experience.” You just, like… [ Warbling ] I bet you’re wondering
how I even got this Back Pocket Dimension. What sort of convenient pants
does Makasu have? How come, when I transformed
into a woman, my bikini bottoms still has
a Back Pocket Dimension? It’s — None of this makes —
I don’t know, it’s… [ Urn shatters ] To be honest,
it’s a metaphor. [ Chirping ] My Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. [ Chirps ] I’ve gotta do this alone,
Flying Bear. [ Chirps ] [ Pocket unzips ] Ugh! ♪♪ Take your air mattress, Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear. You can’t be
my servant anymore. [ Chirps ] You dumb,
horny bitch boy. You can’t come. [ Chirps ] I never even cared about you,
anyways. Couldn’t you see
I treated you like garbage? [ Chirps ] Of course not. You’re a stupid animal. You’re a stupid and horny
bitch animal bitch! ♪ You walking away just hurts ♪ ♪ As plain as the pain
of the tears on my fur ♪ ♪ Your bullshit goodbyes
as you don’t apologize ♪ ♪ Treat either of us
what we’re worth ♪ ♪ You’re thinking
you’re doing me good ♪ ♪ Pushing me away
’cause you can ♪ ♪ Not because you should ♪ ♪ You’re just projecting
through lies ♪ ♪ As my blank,
sorry eyes are nodding ♪ ♪ Exactly as you thought
they would ♪ ♪ Thought they would ♪ ♪ Ooh-oooooooh ♪ ♪ Ooh-oooooooh ♪ ♪♪ [ Grunts ] ♪♪ [ Tennis ball bounces ] Almost there. [ High-pitched tone ] Oh, the light. It’s so loud. It does evoke
a wave of synesthesia, being here, that is. Makasu: Where is here? Inti. It’s Inti himself,
this place. It is it is place. We are at…him. At him?
At’m. Atum. Up and attem. Inti, husband of Mama Killa,
leader of the Incan gods, son of Viracocha, father to Kon,
and god of the sun. It feels so… overwhelmingly empty, for a place
that is a someone. Though it is him,
it also lacks him at the moment. At the moment.
ATM. At’m. Atum. You know,
it’s the only thing I do. What is? Umpire things.
As a chair. Oh, really?
I would have never guessed. I liked doing it. Kinda gave me
a — a — a raison d’etre. Oh, raisin —
raisin death. Ooh, raisin death. I like it
when you said “raisin death.” It’s fun to do these rhymes.
To find the things that rhyme. You know,
you’re very good at sports. I feel like, if they were
more themselves, they would have appreciated
a mortal like you, despite your flaws. My greedy killing streak? It’s not like
gods don’t have a huge death toll
ontheirheads. I mean, people sacrifice
children on their gods. What?
No. Do they meet judgment,
uh, you know, after? Doyou?Uh, I don’t think
I’ve cut my own fingernails since I was 12
or something. ♪♪ [ Whispering ]
What do we do? [ Whispering ]
I don’t know. I don’t have much of a point
beyond the games. It’s kind of
in my name. I am the titular
Chair Umpire. Even though sometimes
I get nervous. Titular. Titty bur–
Ugh, titty burn. I don’t like that one —
titty burn. It doesn’t — “Titty burn”
does not sound like “titular.” That’s weird. At’m. Atum. Must be crazy having your life
be defined by tennis. [ As Matthew McConaughey ]
[ Sighs ] It’s just what I do. It’s just who I am.
Matthew McConaughey. I bet you had
a lot to talk about with the God of Tennis,
though. Excuse me? Yeah, you know,
the French God of Tennis from the old French pantheon,
and when they fell apart, he came to South America
and he hung out with the Incans ’cause they love tennis
and he loves tennis. He was my partner, you know,
for a while. The blue guy? I thought
he was with you. Huh? Y-Yeah, there’s no
French pantheon, anyways. And there’s no
God of Tennis. I’m pretty sure
I’d be the first to know since I’m all about
tennis. Atom. Atom. Like the atom bomb. [ Explosion ] Narrator:
“Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu.” [ Whimpers ] Makasu. [ Whimpers ] Don’t act like it’s something
you should have always known. You learned
right on time. I don’t understand.
W-We held hands. And you are
an incredibly soft boy. [ Tennis ball bounces ] [ Whimpers ] It’s also frustrating
how gorgeous you are when you don’t get it. You naturally stomp
through ignorance. All I needed to do was nudge you
further down that path. You have a reputation,
after all. You always get
what you want. And you stay stuck
in your own head, skirting by on
your natural gifts and luck, trampling on the lawns
behind you as you sing to yourself
on the horizon. [ Shing! ] I’m not really sure
what’s going on. I’m freaking — [ Shing! ] Inti and God of Tennis:
A flesh puppet is exhausting
to inhabit for so long. Makasu:
Who’s talking right now? And where f– is, uh,
your voice from? Inti:
Come on, you piece of shit. You think I’d use
my actual voice when inhabiting
a flesh puppet by your side? Man, the fact that being
in a meat mannequin like that reduces me
to primal mortal urges to make love to you
terrifies me. [ Whimpers ] It’s good
to be back in me! Oh, God.
Why? It’s not like I could
come straight to you myself. I am the Sun, after all. They’d notice
if I was missing. But now you’re here. ♪♪ You’re so bright. A man after my own heart.
How sweet. But the truth is, I’ve been dying slowly,
just like the others. So I kinda pricked you
with a little soul vacuum, had you obliterate
everyone I ever loved so their power could be pulsing
in your little skull when you get here. ♪♪ Time is snuffing me, Makasu. I need a log, a thick piece of wood
just teeming with juice to light and kindle
the solar system. It’s kind of…my job. ♪♪ You can’t blame me. The evil intentions sensed
by Mmaagha Kamalu. It was you.
While you were puppeting the meat puppet
God of Tennis puppet. Oh, my God! I’ve never seen someone
go from such self-loathing to pinning all that negativity
on someone else so fast. Face it, we’re both probably
the bad ones. But at least
I serve a purpose. I make plants grow
and give old ladies booby tans. And do solar-powered scooters. You just take. Which is why I don’t feel
too bad for the fact I’m going to be
gleefully burning you within and without me until we’re one large,
perfect, celestial [echoing] object! ♪♪ No, no, no! ♪♪ I’m not letting it
end like this, Inti! Back Pocket Dimension
Flying Bear! Wait.
No! It’s pretty
convenient for me that you pushed your
little bear servant away, isn’t it? What a cute,
little bear slave. I’m — I’m burning! Just starting to. No!
[ Whimpers ] [ Chirping ] My servant! [ Chirps ] My bear from
my Back Pocket Dimension. I’m gonna help you,
Makasu. [ Flames whoosh ] [ Tennis ball bounces ] No! How could you? Don’t pretend
you care now! Well, you know what?
I’ve still got a hand. Huh!
Aaron’s rod from Exodus, used to spread plague. I beat Aaron
in a slam-dunk contest. Uh, Ukonvasara, the Finnish god
Ukko’s thunder hammer. Kind of a rip-off of Mjolnir,
honestly, but I beat him in a hockey con–
Oh, my God! [ Whimpers ]
Yagrush and Ayamur, the clubs crated by Kothar
in Phoenician mythology and used by Baal to defeat Yam, which I stole from Baal
in a game of Coin Quest. Wait!
No! I can’t.
You’re burning everything! To a crisp! Surrender yourself
to the furnace, Makasu. [ Sobbing ] No! No!
I won’t! I won’t surrender! [ Babbling indistinctly ]
No! Hyuh! I challenge you to tennis! Hyuh! Hyuh! Hyuh! I challenge you, Inti,
to tennis! [ Whooshing ] ♪♪ You’ve always been
[echoing] brilliant. Uhhhhhhnnn… Noooooo… Ohhhhhh… Whoooa… No… Nooooo… Why were you… [ Echoing ] Your. Serve. [ Folk music playing ] Bendy Rivers:
You’re a good kid, Makasu. I mean it. ♪ The game is over,
the game was lost ♪ ♪ To centuries
of a churning sun ♪ ♪ A yellow star ♪ ♪ Like a tennis ball
just rolling through the sky ♪ [ Echoing ]
Game. Set. Match. ♪ We play for keeps,
and we lost it all ♪ ♪ Racquets broke,
and our souls not far ♪ ♪ Fadin’ off ♪ ♪ To a Sunday afternoon
Sun ritual ♪ ♪♪ ♪ We’re livin’ proof ♪ ♪ There’s nothing left to hold ♪ ♪ Just let it go ♪ ♪♪ ♪ We were young
when this began ♪ ♪♪ ♪ And now we’re old,
there’s nothing left to stand ♪ ♪ For anymore ♪ ♪ Just let the castle fall ♪ ♪ Just let it go ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Let your death dance in,
smiling eclipse ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Let the sports be won
on your fingertips ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Grab the game, turn the key ♪ ♪ The sun is rising ♪ ♪ The sun is rising ♪ ♪ The sun is rising ♪ [ Warbling ] ♪♪ [ Laser fires ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Laser fires ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Warbling ] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Rock music playing ] Narrator: Put down
all those tired, old “Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu”
action figures and grab one of the most
sought-after action figures of this or any century. It’s the sun god, Inti! [ Whoosh, sizzle ] Can we get Lou in here
to clean this up? Uh-huh.
Yeah, they’re incinerated. Yeah, yeah, Susie. Uh, they signed the waiver,
right? I mean, we got signatures
on everything? We’re covered?
Okay, good. Well, I just —
I guess we’ll get art department to slap on
a warning on the box, or actually not have the kids
open it next time we shoot it. Okay. All right, well, I guess
I’ll see you this weekend. Yeah, I’m excited. I never rode
a roller coaster before, so that’ll be new. I hear they go up — Upside-down? I don’t know if that’s —
I-I can do that. Is there one
that doesn’t do that?