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Ignite Minneapolis 7 (Full Event)

Ignite Minneapolis 7 (Full Event)

– Welcome to Ignite, Minneapolis. Thank you all for coming tonight. I want a really quick show of hands, how many are are here for
their very first ignite? Wow, alright, a lot of you, welcome. I think this might be
the most number of people we’ve ever had at an ignite, not sure. My name is Patrick Kuntz, I’m
the producer of this event, but I want to tell you I
do not do it all by myself. We have a small army of volunteers. You’ll see them walking around
tonight with red badges on. They have donated their
time and their talents for the months leading up to this event, so if you see them, yeah,
give them a round of applause. Buy them a beer, too. Also, I want to say we could
not have done any of this without the financial support
and the in kind support from our magnificent
sponsors, so another round of applause for our sponsors, please. (clapping) So we started doing this thing last year, or at the last ignite, where we invited a past ignite speaker to
come back and serve as an MC for the next ignite, and
that worked out really well, in fact Mike is running the
lights, I think, and so we decided to do that again. This time we’ve invited Laura
Fitzpatrick to be our MC. I’ll tell you a little bit about Laura. She is, uh, by day she is a strategist at Carmichael Lynch Ad
Agency, and then by night, she is a student of Improv Comedy. And she also wanted me to
tell you that she knows all the lyrics too, and can
sing perfectly, the song about the, uh, the names
of the chemical elements, have you heard about this? It’s set to a Gilbert and
Sullivan tune and it’s like The Pirates of Penzance,
she can sing it perfectly and she would, if you see
her, do yourself a favor and ask her to sing it for you. She didn’t really ask me to
tell you that, but seriously, it’s a rare talent, you should
share it with the world. Let’s make her feel welcome. Your host, Laura Fitzpatrick. – Hello everybody, and welcome
to Ignite, Minneapolis Seven. As Patrick said, I’m your
host Laura Fitzpatrick. Now, I’ve never hosted
anything before, so I decided to look up some helpful tips on hosting. One of the first tips was to
not make things all about you, so I immediately called 98
Degrees and my backup dancers and canceled the opening musical number. That being said, the
hashtag tonight is not hashtag Laura rules, hashtag
Fitz is my home girl, or hashtag Laura’s big show. It’s hashtag ignite mpls,
but if you tweet something with all four hashtags,
I’m not going to stop you. We are live streaming the event tonight with help from Rewire. To find the live stream, you
just go to the Ignite website homepage at,
or you can visit the Rewire website or In prep for the camera, I did
wear my spanks because I heard it adds 10 pounds, so… Tonight’s Ignite is raising
awareness for CoderDojo, a global movement providing
free and open learning to youth with an emphasis on computer programming. The twin cities chapter
works to eliminate gender and socioeconomic barriers
to computer science, with a non cost way for
kids ages eight to 17 to learn how to code
and have fun doing it. If you haven’t done this just
yet, you should get our mobile friendly event program. Just go to One of our sponsors, a
company by the name of Uber, is offering 20 dollars off
of your first ride tonight, so just use the promo code ignitempls. Alright, this is my favorite slide. It’s probably, uh, probably
the most photogenic picture of me ever taken. The format for ignite is
as simple as it is brutal. Each speaker tonight has prepared a deck of exactly 20 slides. We’ve set those up to auto
advance every 15 seconds. As a previous Ignite
speaker, I can guarantee you that each speaker is
probably suffering from one of the following symptoms right now. Bloating, puking, regret,
excitement, panic, excitement that turns
into panic, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth,
wet mouth, pit stains, and or shakes. Basically, it’s really really terrifying being up here tonight, so
please please help these people be very enthusiastic. If you’re a golf clapper
or a twitter troll, you’re welcome to excuse
yourself right now. And with that, let’s get started. Our first speaker. Originally from Southern
California, Steve Peck is a five year of Minnesota Transplant. He’s cofounder of Docalytics,
which is a twins cities tech company, but he maintains
an outsider’s perspective, which gives him insight
into the uniqueness of our great state of Minnesota. So please welcome Steve Peck. – Didn’t know if I’d be in
a situation like this again. Anyway, my name is Steve Peck. Not going to lie, I’ve never
spoken in front of this many potentially drunk people
before and I’m just a little bit nervous, I got the
shake thing going on, but to help ease this, I’m
picturing each of you naked right now, which is helping. Actually no, it’s making
this more awkward, my mother in law is sitting
right over there, so… Anyway, enough about that,
a little bit about me. I was actually not from here,
orginially, as she indicated. I was born and raised
in Southern California. Went to school in
Colorado, Boulder, Colorado where I met my lovely wife,
Christine, who preceded to move me more colder and
colder and colder places, before ultimately bringing
me back to Minnesota, her home state. I actually think this is a
past time of many of you guys in terms of finding people
living happily in warmer clients and then sucking them back
in just to see how they last during that first winter,
so, glad to be part of that experiment. When I first moved here, I
didn’t know much about the state other than what most Americans
know in terms of you guys are all white, I’m glad to
verify tonight through this, you love Prince more than
anything, and of course, if you go outside in February,
there’s a good chance you might die, but, you know,
I’ve heard a lot from my neighbors in terms of every
winter around mid-February they’re always saying oh
it’s not that bad, usually, it’s not that cold. Really? I think it is. I think you guys have
this sort selective memory of this perfect weather back in 1987, and ever since then, you think
every winter up until that point except the one you’re
living in was exactly like that. It’s a coping mechanism, I
get it, what I didn’t get, ice fishing. Here is a sport where, you
know, grown men lock themselves in these small rooms that
subside of nothing but, like, Cheetos and maybe root
beer schanpps and sunflower seeds over the period of a weekend. You know, it wasn’t until I
moved here and spent my first winter with my wife and kids
that I realized that this wasn’t about fishing at all,
this was about creating an environment so inhospitable
that there was no chance in hell your wife or kids would ever join you. So you’re guaranteed to
get that two to four hours of solitude each weekend,
it’s a brilliant strategy, and no offense Christine,
it’s one I think I’m going to adopt next winter. But it’s not just the men
who winter makes, you know, into weirdos, it’s everybody. Who here has been to the May Day festival right up the street in Powderhorn Park? Right? It’s a great event filled with weirdos. I don’t know where these people come from, but you never see them any
other time in Minneapolis except here. I actually think this is
what winter does to people. I mean, I think they need
this day to get it out of their system so they
can evolve back to their normal selves, which is
typically like a white guy in a pink twins shirt
drinking beer in the sun. But the sun is a good thing,
it allows us to sort of get back into my favorite
season of all, and that is where you can sit and eat a
tub of cookies, a basket of cheese curds, and spaghetti
and meatballs on a stick and that’s considered a well
balanced diet, it’s great. But food really brings us
all together, I mean I bet everyone here has that story
of at some point in their life when they’re eating lime jello
salad or a hot dish in the basement of a Lutheran church, am I right? No, maybe? You know, but, we like it. I mean one thing that is a
common factor, there is the phenomena of Minnesota nice. It exists. I realize now that if I walk
away from a conversation feeling good about myself, but
maybe a little bit confused, that’s Minnesota nice, so… I’m going to test this
here and sort of apply it to this situation, yeah. So I would say here oh, you
call it duck, duck, grey duck, do you? Well, that’s different. But, you know, it works, I get it. In fact, Minnesotans, I love
it here, I love the people, the quirks, you guys are actually
the ultimate trendsetters. I mean, look at this guy. Look at me. He’s, after all, just the
original hipster, is he not? I mean Paul Bunyan, 100 years
old, and he’s doing great, and there’s other trends that I’m sure are going to catch on. I’m pretty sure everyone
is going to be eating lutefisk for lunch and going
to meat raffles by night across the country in no time. So with that, I’m going
to leave you with one word repeated from a great Minnesota
movie, The Mighty Ducks. Hopefully this will bring
us together and get excited for more speakers tonight,
and that word is quack. – [All] Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. – Thank you guys, Steve
Peck, thank you Minneapolis. (clapping) – Thank you, Steve. I was happy that there was no mention of Jesse Ventura in that. Alright, our next speaker. As managing partner of
Click, Kathryn spearheads recruitment for digital
advertising, media, and marketing professionals. She has worked with ad agencies,
in house corporate agencies and fortune 500 companies
all across the U.S. Please welcome Kat Duncan. (clapping) – Richard Nelson Bolles. He wrote what color is
your parachute in 1970 and Dick has written this
book every year to date. I’m pretty sure you don’t
need to buy Dick’s book, because we’re going to
talk today about targeting your network, not getting a job. What color is your parachute
is about getting a great job, but I think that’s about
targeting your network, and right now, 95 percent
of you are employed. We’re at pre-recession levels
in the state of Minnesota right now in the employment market. The five percent that
don’t have a job right now, you’re going to have one
really soon, I promise. Most of us are shooting darts in the dark when it comes to our network. What we’re doing is first tier network. Our friends, our family,
people that we know, but do they know what you do? Most of the time they
don’t, so let’s not waste other people’s time,
don’t waste your own time. We’re going to target our
networks, and I actually have some strategy and metrics around this. So we’re going to reverse
the concept of meeting people and think more about
where do you want to work. You’re already working
somewhere, but do you love it? Is it where you want to be? Does that company align with your values? Think about the thousands
of companies that you could potentially work at in
the state of Minnesota, and narrow that down to 30 companies. Agencies, corporations,
non profits, 30, and I know you know how to use Google,
so we’re going to research to narrow to 30. Take that 30 to 10. Take that 10 to five. We’re going to focus on five
companies that you think you want to work for, but
you need to write a value statement about why. I hear all the time from
people I want to work at xyz company, but they don’t
know why they want to work at xyz company. Why do you want to work there? Does that company align
with you as a human being? Do their values align with your values? Is it a product or a
service that you’ve admired since you were a child? You want to work there? Is it work life balanced? Think about where you
think you want to work, and you’re going to write a
passion statement around that. Three to five sentences,
short, sweet, simple. Three to five sentences about why you want to work somewhere. Once you’ve got those five, now
you’re going to meet people. 10 people inside of those five companies. You’re going to use LinkedIn,
not to connect with people, because we all know what it
feels like when you actually connect with someone,
or ask for a connection that you don’t know, and
you’re like whatever, that money is my network,
money is your network, don’t do that, but use
LinkedIn as a tool to identify people that work at those
companies that align with your values that
you want to work for, and then you’re going to meet them. That’s hard. So we’re going to cold
email, but we’re not going to cold call, because you’re
not going to get a response. And when you cold email, it’s
not about I want a better job, I want a different job, I have skills. You’re going to also be
grammatically correct and you’re not going to have typos in those emails. It’s really important. You won’t get a response from that. You’re going to be good about that. You’re going to email these
people and you’re going to email seven emails per one response. So, that means you’re
going to have to identify a great number of people,
because most of the time people are busy and you fell
below the fold in that email. People aren’t inherently
assholes, they actually want to help you. They would love to meet
with you, they’d like a cup of coffee with you, they
probably want to know you. But we’re really bad at
managing our inboxes, so you fell below the fold. Ultimately, the goal with these emails is four cups of coffee
every week for 90 days. And that’s our metric. Identify the people,
reach out, be patient, be persistent, be positive. When you meet them,
again, it’s not about you. This is about them. You’re asking why do you
like working at xyz company, how did you get your job at xyz company? If they talk more, they like you better, and this is how you’re going
to build a professional network that’s going to
influence your career. 50 new people inside of 90
days to help you transition to something more valuable to
you, because remember that no one, no one says no to
caffeine and chocolate. It’s mocha people, offer them a mocha. I’d like to think Mary Lou Wichlacz, very personally right now, for helping me build these slides. Without Mary Lou, I
wouldn’t have the courage to stand on this stage
today and thank you all for coming today. Thank you so much. (clapping) – Thank you, Kat. I got to say, the job
market out there is tough. The job requirements,
it’s like must have a bachelor’s degree, must also
have tenures, experience, must’ve destroyed Frodo’s
ring in Mount Doom. Our next speaker, Mykl, designs
engaging web experiences, and he often speaks about
social media, WordPress, and typography. He’s the director of Social
Media Breakfast Minneapolis Saint Paul, runs Tech Karaoke Minneapolis, and is five and a half
minutes away from having a very strong drink, if you
ask nicely, he might share. Please welcome Mykl Roventine. – Thank you. For thousands of years,
people have communicated using social media systems. What we think of as social
media today is really just the latest incarnation of
our timeless desire to be connected using whatever
technology is available. OK, I’ll admit there was
no prehistoric Facebook, but these ancient social media systems are really familiar to us. They’re two way
conversational environments where information is passed
horizontally from one person to another using social networks
rather than being delivered vertically from an
impersonal central source. Take a second. Statesman Marcus Cicero
was posted in what’s now Turkey in the first century B.C. He stayed in close touch
with Rome through a network of his social circle, all
of whom gathered, filtered, and shared information on
a form of papyrus scrolls distributed by messengers. The Romans also had a
great method of sending instant messages, written
on a stylus with wax tablets mounted in wooden frames. The recipients response could be scratched on the same tablet and then
returned to the sender. These tablets could be erased
and used over and over again. Roman letters themselves
were social communications. Often copied, shared, commented
on, quoted in other letters, some were addressed to several people, written to be read aloud,
or even posted in public. Citizens across the empire
relied on an official daily accounting of the news called the Acta. This was only posted on
wooden boards in the forum, and it wasn’t distributed at
all, but it relied on reader’s social networks to reach a wider audience. Scribes were sent to copy
parts, or all of it, every day and it was sent to friends
outside of the city highlighting items of interest
with added commentary, background, and other information. FYI, the Romans started
the practice of using acronyms for common phrases
in their letters to save time. While the lite communicated with scrolls, ordinary Romans literally
wrote on each other’s walls. Graffiti was used as
public message boards. The walls of towns and
cities were covered in ads political slogans, discussions,
and personal messages of all kind. They wrote about what
they ate, who they loved, and carried on an entire
conversations on people’s walls. When Martin Luther
posted his list of items to be discussed on the
door of his local church, which served as the
University’s notice board, it was a standard way to
announce a public debate. What was unusual was
how quickly these ideas, written in Latin, spread
virally via a new form of media, printed pamphlets. These pamphlets were translated
and appeared simultaneously in different German towns,
paid for by Luther’s friends who had been sent copies, and
the propositions were known across the entire country
within mere weeks. Luther learned from this
and printed more pamphlets, this time in German, and
they were shared and actively sought after. As with likes and retweets
today, the number of reprints show how popular they were. His works were reprinted by
millions during the first decade of the reformation and proved impossible for the church to suppress. He employed multi media as well. Wood cuts and news ballads. News ballads were another
new form of media. They were songs that were
combined political commentary mashed up with familiar melodies. These were popular forms
of propaganda that didn’t require literacy to share. English coffee houses in
the 1600s were important meeting places, sources
of news, and acted as information networks. Many specialized in the
discussion of a particular topic and allowed collaboration which
resulted in important works in the areas of science,
business, and finance. The telegraph has been called
the Victorian internet. It allowed people to
communicate almost instantly across great distances, was
a world wide communication network, but it still
allowed people to connect in intimate ways. There was even a marriage
ceremony conducted over the telegraph between Boston and New York. Well before Craigslist
and Facebook, 19th century newspapers would run personals
of lovelorn Victorians seeking to connect. Personal ads often targeted
a specific individual, but were public and available
to anyone who read the paper. They also used identity, or
they also concealed their identities with aliases sometimes. In the 70s, the CB radio
craze turned the airways into a peer to peer network. This is where we get
the concept of a handle or on air identity. CB also had his own shorthand
abbreviations and slang to make communications more effective. Over a century later, we had
mass media through newspapers, radio, and T.V., along
comes the reemergence of social media. ARPANET and email both developed
to help people collaborate and work remotely, led to what
become the internet in 1980. In the 90s, Tim Berners-Lee
created the web and the first web browser to encourage
collaboration and provide a new place for people and ideas to meet. The development of blogging
helped establish conventions like reverse chronological
posts, comments, and subscribing to others. This brings us to Twitter,
which along with Facebook and others, has defined
the most recent phase of social media. They’re our continuation
of a long tradition, and as you can see, built
on what became before them. Social networks are once again
spreading news and ideas, spreading information,
enabling conversations across great distances and fueling
revolutions and protests, just at a larger scale than ever before. Today’s social media systems
don’t just connect us to each other, they link us to the past. Thank you. (clapping) – Though Julie Warner is
cunning linguist, as a former copy editor, she does enjoy
semantics, and the myriad pet peeves that allows her. She’s currently working toward an MBA at St. Thomas University. Please welcome Julie Warner. – What the hell does the word nice mean? No one really knows what it means. But we all use it all the time. In fact, I think it’s
the amount that it’s used that’s made it become useless. It’s definition settles
somewhere between pleasant and agreeable, which is
totally boring and vague, the way that most of us use it. It’s like the freaking
khaki pants of adjectives. How was it? It was nice. It’s basically the word you
use when you’re too lazy to think of anything else to say. I miss the good old days when
nice really meant something. Yeah, it wasn’t always this
way, nice used to mean something really bad, and honest,
and so not Minnesotan, and if you understand the
former glory that used to be the word nice, you’ll understand
why it’s current version pales in comparison. So back in ancient Rome,
Latin came from nescius, which meant ignorant,
from the verb nescire, which meant literally to not know, and then to the 12th
century in old french, it became nice, which meant,
wait for it, wait for it, weak. And then, yeah, and
then it got to English. Throughout the middle ages
it picked up all sorts of fun connotation and a
lot of substantive uses, such as finicky, sloth, uhm,
ostentatious, my favorite, wantonness which is like
a classy way to say slut, and, so how do you get to
where it became close to our usage in the 1700s? I can only think of one
thing, my close friend. Somebody said it and it
was taken wrong and bam, now it’s agreeable. Scholars call this journey
of a word from good to bad amelioration, but us drunks
know it by it’s street name, beer goggles. A lot of us are probably
getting ameliorated right now, am I right? And I mean I like, uh, I’m
not totally against, like, favorable words, I like
compliments as much as the next girl with daddy
issues, but I’m saying, like, how can a word be favorable
when it’s so often used, like, in the opposite way. It’s never just good and bad,
it’s not black and white. It’s become a crutch of
the passive aggressive. So let’s talk about some
of these passive aggressive uses, and I’ll translate them for you. Like nice haircut. This is not a compliment. This is somebody basically
saying hey, I noticed you changed your appearance,
I’m ambivalent about it, and I’m also unwilling to
pay you an actual compliment. Or you ask somebody hey,
how was your weekend? It was nice. They’re telling you to mind
your own fucking business. They don’t want to talk about it. Has this ever happened to you? You’re telling your friend
about somebody that was treating you poorly, and
they said, I don’t know, she was always nice to me. This has nothing to do with
the person in question, everything to do with your
friend saying I don’t blame her. You’re stuck up. Or have you ever been set up
with somebody who’s really nice because what are they going to say, he’s a total dork? You’re not going to
want to sleep with him. They wouldn’t say that, so
they say he’s really nice. To my personal favorite, which
I like to call the nice but. As in Johnny’s really nice
but he’s kind of racist, but he’s like a really nice guy. So nice. It’s like anytime we try
to say something honest, our inner Minnesotan
takes a hold of the wheel and absolutely refuses to zipper merge or do anything offense,
because to be honest, it’s taboo to be honest in Minnesota. Which is strange, because
we’re smarter than that. We’re actually, the twin
cities is actually among the top five most educated
cities in the nation. So you’d think that we’d be
able to kind of suck it up and take it from each other,
you know, some real intense precise language, not always the case. I’m not telling you that
you have to stop being lazy, I’m not even saying that
you have to be creative, someone already made, did
all the thinking for us and put it in a book,
it’s called a thesaurus, not a dinosaur. There’s lots of synonyms out
there, so if you have something nice to say, don’t say it at all. I think we should challenge
each other to think of things to say that
aren’t deluded and vague. When we really take time to
consider life’s subtleties, and describe them in ways
that respect all of those subtleties, then we don’t end
up with something as boring as what I put up when I
was running out of time doing my slides on Sunday. (clapping) – Our next speaker, Joe Laha,
is a professional flip chart jockey, amateur transit
advocate, home brew enthusiast, and fat bike racer. He owns way too many
cycling themed t-shirts, don’t we all. Please welcome Joe Laha. – Hello Minneapolis. So there are two questions
everyone asks when they find out that my partner Bridget
and I don’t own a car. The first is how did this happen? You know, fly over a country,
everybody seems to think that the car is still a
necessary piece of equipment, and this was ours, a 1998 Subaru Forester. It was goodly car, we
could put a canoe on it. The thing about 13 year old
cars is if you decide to drive them into the ground, they
will take you up on that in the most inconvenient time possible. For instance, December
2011, on the way to my mom’s surprise 60th birthday
party, we spent that weekend finding out way too much
about cylinder had gaskets than we ever wanted to know. We did make it to the party,
though, 40 minutes late. So on our way home, in my
grandma’s borrowed minivan, which we would take to
call vananna montanna, we pondered our options,
and the same questions kept coming up. Do we really need a car anyway, and can we make a different choice? So, we resolved to bike
as much as we could. Commuting was actually the easy part. Bike camping trips and
rides out to North Oaks to family cook outs
required special equipment like racks and padded bike
shorts and things like that. I got to give a shout
out to Metro Transit, the green line is opening this weekend. Finally giving us all a good
reason to go to Saint Paul, and there’s Nice Ride which
is handy if you catch a flat. But like the Starks say,
winter is coming, and it came for us in a big way this year. This is where Minneapolis
and Saint Paul set themselves apart from Portland. When the rivers freeze
and the summer ends, we don’t put our bikes away,
we just get bigger tires. There’s no great secret
to riding in the winter. You don’t even really need a
fat bike or special equipment to do it. You just go a little slower,
you wear some extra layers, the beard of ice is
strictly optional but cool. So, the title of my talk is kind of a lie. We actually drive all the time. Car shares like HOURCAR
provide all the benefits of car ownership without all
the hassles of having to actually own one, and they
even have pickup trucks for putting your garden in. Car2Go is in Minneapolis in a
big way, and if the Saint Paul city council votes the
right way next week, starting in July, it’ll be
all over Saint Paul, too. According to the app,
there are five of these parked outside right now,
and I hope there’s one waiting for me when I’m done tonight. So, which do you use? For me, it’s not an either or question. I say join both. They work really well together,
like taking your Car2Go to get to your HOURCAR reservation. So the second question
everybody asks me is why? You know, American culture
is really car culture. You know, we’re brought up
to kind of worship our cars. And if you need any
proof, just watch any live televised sport ball event, and
count the number of car ads. But at the risk of starting
a political argument, we’re burning a lot of dead
dinosaurs driving all these cars around. I live in Minnesota
because I like the winter and I would like us to keep having it. And also, TripleA does this
study where they figured that it costs us nine
grand a year to own cars, and one expense they don’t
take into consideration is parking, which costs a lot. I can buy a lot of cycling
themed t-shirts for that. So, with all these cars around,
with all these bikes around, you’d think, you know,
four percent of all trips in Minneapolis are by
bike, which you can burn a lot of calories on bike
rather than sitting in traffic. So, what are they objections? So you have kids. Well, I’m told it’s a lot
of fun to bike with kids. And my friends with kids are
always talking about modeling positive behavior, I can’t
think of anything more positive than biking with your kids. Or you take a lot of out of town trips. Like I said in the beginning,
my family lives in Wisconsin. We get out of town plenty,
we just rent cars to do it. The rental process is
pretty painless these days, and I have yet to have
one of these cars blow a cylinder head gasket. Or you live in the burbs. Well then your watch word is multi modal. All of Metro Transits
various forms of transport have space for bikes. Instead of letting your car
sit at the park and ride, ride your bike and take it with you. 40 percent of all trips by
car are less than two miles from your home. You might want to consider
how many of those you can do without your car, you
might be surprised to see you don’t really use your car
as much as you think you do. So I’m not telling you to go
out tomorrow and sell your car, just try to drive it less. You’ll save a few bucks,
you may drop a few pounds, and you might leave the
planet a little cleaner than you found it. Catch me on Twitter,
that’s my time, thanks. (clapping) – The one that I was
really struck by was the mock chop suey. – Which is fine. But let’s face it, it’s not
exactly main frame reform after the Carter administration. Young people have kind of
fallen into a weird PBS era. We’re too old to start our days learning with Sesame Street, and
too young to end our days curled up in front of Antique’s Roadshow. So why even watch PBS
when you could be doing better things like playing
candy crush or wondering why everybody makes better vines than you? Well, because things are changing. Not in the way your relentless
ex says they’ve changed. We’re actually changing. As viewers, we want to be engaged. We want to be challenged,
we want to collaborate, but we want to have fun
while we’re doing it. That’s why we’ve started Rewire. It’s the same PBS you’ve
know in the flesh, and it comes with Instagram. We’re creating content just for you. Stuff that’s both smart and entertaining. Stuff that can be watched
on any device at any time. Stuff you may actually want
to share with your friends and followers. We’re holding events with
fun guests, exciting topics, and delicious beverages. And best of all, we’re listening. We want to hear from
you and work with you. We want to collaborate and
discover new things together. We want to raise questions,
poke fun, and solve problems. We want to change the world with you. Are we aiming a little high? Maybe, but tell me, was
Mrs. Frizzle aiming to high when she packed a bunch of
third graders into a bewitched bus for unsolicited life
threatening field trips all in the name of science? We didn’t think so. (clapping) (clapping) (clapping) – Alright, our next
speaker, Janel Anderson is a recovering academic with a PhD in organizational communication. She runs a business called
Working Conversations, where she helps companies get
their people to communicate more effectively so stuff can
get done better and faster. Please welcome Janel Anderson. (clapping) – You didn’t see it coming. Suddenly your mouth goes
dry, your heart races, it sounds like there’s
a freight train rushing through your head. You can’t listen. Maybe it’s your boss
giving you unexpected harsh critical feedback performance
in your annual review. Maybe it’s your girlfriend
saying we need to talk. Regardless, the words may be
chattering through your head, but somehow you can’t get
them up to your brain, the part that actually does the listening. What’s going on here? Why can’t we listen when
the stakes are high? Well, your amygdala, the
part of your brain that picks up sensory information,
sees things far before your conscious mind can act
on them, it’s your fight or flight response, and
that’s a fancy name for your sympathetic nervous system. Once that gets triggered, you
move into protection mode. You are all about protecting
and defending yourself, and that’s the name of the game. Sometimes you move towards
fight, where you’re charged and ready to go. Other times, you move more
towards flight, and you don’t have to run away to experience flight. A lot of times it happens
while the conversation is still going on. You’ve checked out, packed
your bags, and left the conversation, but you’re
still right there pretending to be in it. Information also travels up
to your prefontal cortex, the part in the front of the
brain that does the critical thinking, and that’s where
the listening happens. And listening happens so
fast, things move up their so quickly, but your amygdala
catches it before your prefontal cortex does. And your prefontal cortex is
really looking out for you. It’s that part of your
brain that says do I really know this person, or have
I just exchanged a lot of personal information with them on Twitter? The prefontal cortex is slow
compared to the amygdala. The amygdala is fast. Take road rage for example. The driver careens in front
you and throws on it’s breaks. Immediately, you tailgate,
and then, your rational mind kicks in, you realize
to do the right thing and you back off. From an evolutionary biology
standpoint, our brains haven’t caught up with our modern culture. An email where our boss’s
boss is copied feels just as threatening as if a saber
tooth tiger was chomping at our ankles. Once the fight or flight
response is started, our blood stream gets
flooded with chemicals. Cortisol, the stress
hormone, is coursing through, and our adrenal glands
are pumping out adrenaline like there is no
tomorrow, because in fact, there may be no tomorrow,
if it can’t save us. This is what happened with Jeff Willhelm. He aided in the rescue of
dozens of teachers and students when an elementary school
in Oklahoma was flattened last year from a tornado. It was only after he’d saved
many of them that he realised both of his arms were broken. Once the cortisol adrenaline
cocktail gets in your blood stream, it goes
right up to your brain, and basically it commences
a shut down, much like a government shut down, only the essentials services are performed. The limbic system is also at
work in the midst of this. The limbic system is
basically a stenographer. It keeps track of things for you. It’s the heart of your
emotions and your memory. It’s also responsible for
reminding you about that embarrassing time when
you did confuse someone you just met with someone on Twitter. In situations of low to moderate stress, the prefrontal cortex
overrides the amygdala. We can listen again, and
critical thinking prevails. We distinguish the Twitter
friend from the friend in person. As your stress level goes
up, it gets harder and harder to make those good choices. Stress and listening have
an inverse relationship with one another. When stress is up, listening goes down. And when stress is low, your
ability to listen and think critically goes up. Without critical thinking
skills, we may say something that makes absolutely no sense. In fact, as our stress
levels go up, our prefrontal cortex can be completely
incapacitated and render our brain pretty much useless. This I why people become
such jerks when they feel really threatened. They really can’t think or
listen, and it’s really not their fault, blame it
on evolutionary biology not having caught up
with our modern culture. When we get angry, we simply can’t listen. Likewise, when we threaten
someone else, whether it’s intentional or accidental,
we completely disable their ability to think
critically, and their ability to listen. So what can we do when we start
to feel a threat coming on? Well, simply by having the
awareness of these biological functions, we can be
more fine tuned to them. Oh yeah, there’s still going
to be things that set us off, our buttons get pushed,
and we do get defensive, but if you can remember that
it’s a biological response, you can have a little
bit more of a grip on it, and pull yourself back from the edge when you feel it happening. And you can carefully
choose your opening line to important conversations
to avoid triggering other people’s fight or flight response. And now that you know that
we need to talk is not a good way to open a
conversation, you can have those conversations that you want
to have and actually listen. (clapping) – By day, Colin Lee is a
lead mobile engineer at ThisClicks, a venture act
employee scheduling software startup in Saint Paul. By night, Colin plans
civic hacking events, like HACKFORMN, our national
day of civic hacking in the twin cities. Please welcome Colin Lee. – I’m here tonight to explain
why hacking can be awesome. When you think of hackers,
you probably have thoughts of bad people, you probably
think of someone who breaks into your website
or your bank accounts. You probably think of
someone wearing, maybe, a Guy Fawkes mask, like this
guy, or a hooded sweatshirt, and with the exception of
that hoodie, you may have the wrong image. For example, when I’m talking
about hacking, I’m talking about civic hackers, I’m
using the old definition of, oh… This guy, this is our
executive director of our civic hacking group, and he’s wearing,
looks pretty funny, yeah, but it’s awesome because
this is the kind of image that, you know, we’re like,
we’re all like fluffy bunnies. We do great things for great people. So hacking is about solving
problems, building things to solve problems through
our own ingenuity. And just like these World
War II mechanics would build airplanes out the scrap
parts of eight or nine of their aircraft, we solve
problems by hacking things apart and putting them
back together again. Herman Hollerith, back in
history, this guy fixed the census back in 1890, because it
took them 10 years or more to do the census and he brought
it to one tenth of the time. His product became IBM. Another interesting one, Facebook. They came up with this
thing, well, they weren’t the first ones, the hacking
marathon, but they’ve been doing it since 2003, and these
are all features that they developed at their hackathons. Lot of impressive stuff,
like the like button, chat, video. Great software is about
scratching an itch. It’s about making our
lives less miserable. Dealing with irritations
that we have in our day to day life, and
when we have something, irritation that we need to scratch, somebody else is probably feeling it, too. So, national day of civic
hacking, this event started last year for the first time,
it’s all about relieving pain all across America,
solving problems for people. So, what was hackathon
like, what do we do? Let’s talk about that. So we start, might plan something out. Go to a whiteboard and
just start sketching, talk about what are the
pain points, you know, how might we attack this, you
know, what kinds of things can we do then we start
sketching, make a design, and once we get that
design, we just sit down together and we all start
hacking, we build things. It doesn’t mean you
have to be a super geek, it doesn’t mean you have
to know how to program. Whether you’re technical or
not technical, you can get down in front of your
laptop and do something to help the world, and once you’ve got, we can only have one or
two days, it took Hollerith six or eight months, we’re
not expecting you to do it in one weekend, but at
the end of the weekend, you’ve got a prototype. You’ve got the seed, a
germ of what you’re going to present to the rest of the
people, and that prototype is, you know, you’re going
to tell them why this can change the world. How it’s going to make your lives better. And you’re probably asking
yourselves, you know, what can a few geeks really do? Last year was the first
annual national day of civic hacking, just
in the first year alone, it took off. 11,000 of us worked in 95
events all around the country. This year, it’s up to 123,
we’ve gone international. We’ve had some great
success right here in town. This is OMG Transit. They solve a problem. Real time bus information,
you can actually find out when you bus is going to arrive, not when it’s supposed to arrive. They got to go to the White
House to present on this. There’s another team that
got to go to the White House, there’s several. This is Tulsa, Oklahoma. These guys could put down
real time disaster information for emergency responders. They have all the tornadoes
and they wanted to make peoples lives better because
of the tornadoes that hit them. Another one was out in Boulder,
Colorado, it says this year they managed to fix the problem
that people were getting flood alerts when they
weren’t even in the area that was affected, so they
wanted more high resolution and in real time by text
message that would reach you when the internet was
unavailable and phones were down. We’ve had great success
and lots of growth, and this is our state
secretary, Mark Ritchie. Put on an event last
year for the first time, and we went out to five to
six hackathons per year. His one was a great
success, more than a hundred people showed up, we
built wonderful things. So difficult problems like
homelessness are always are to fix, and we’re going
to try at our hackathon to do some things to help out. Just because we can’t do it
in the span of one weekend doesn’t mean we shouldn’t
do something to help. So we’re working hard and
trying to make the world a better place. This guy Nick Skytland from
NASA suggested that this is about democracy, it’s
about participation, and it shouldn’t just be
about voting and protesting, that we should actually be
able to have a say in our government and how things
are done, and this is one way we can do it. And we want a government that
listens, but it shouldn’t just be the NSA. It should be all the
agencies and many of them do want us to help and they
want us to be able to use their data and build
things that make people’s lives better. So if you love this and you
want to take part in this, you should come out
next weekned, HACKFORMN, national day of civic hacking,
and let’s hack together a better world. Thank you, folks. (clapping) – I’m so glad we have people like Colin to do that stuff. I’m not going to lie, it took
me a couple weeks to learn that oculus rift was a
virtual reality headset, and not the name of something in the human reproductive system. Karen Kraus, our next
speaker, is a yoga teacher and health and wellness
instructor at Saint Paul college. She spent her 20s living in mountain towns all around the U.S. Please welcome Karen Kraus. – So, as you’ve already heard,
I have lived in mountain towns all over the country. For the last four years, I’ve
lived in this beautiful state, and in the twin cities, and
although I love it here a lot, there’s often times that I
start wondering and wishing that I could be back in a mountain town. But when I’m in mountain
towns, there’s often times that I start thinking about
how much I miss diversity and career movement and
things like that, you know? So although it’s great,
there’s always a downside. But when you’re in cities,
as we all know, there’s also a downside. We have traffic, we have
scheduling, we have all kinds of things to do, so I
start to miss these, like, leisurely days, and these jobs
where I don’t really have to pay attention to much, I
just have to show up to work. So, as you can imagine, and
the people that are here that know me today, I’m kind
of a basket case when it comes to where I want to live. Sometimes I want to live in
the city, sometimes I want to live back in the mountain towns. So the other day, about six
months ago, I had a friend that finally sat me down
and said Karen, seriously, what is you and this mountain
town thing, and is there possibly a way that you
can combine how you feel in a mountain town with the city? And I said hell no, that is not possible. We don’t have mountains,
first of all, and there’s freeways all over the freaking
place and I drive on them every day, so no, we can’t. And then I went home and I
think about it for a while, and I said, you know what, she’s right. You probably can, because
it’s not always the places that you live, but it’s
also the way that we feel when we live in them. So I thought what does it
take to become a mountain bum and what is it, what makes it so great? So I have five things for you. First one, love where you live. Mountain bums love where they live, they would never take it back,
if you’re visiting there, they will say how much
it’s, how great it is, and how much they love it,
and when it’s cold out, they don’t run away and say
fuck it and want to move to Florida next year. They also like to live in
weird places like this van my friend lived in, but I
decided that living in a van in the mountains is cool,
but living in a van here is called homeless, not always great. Also, they love to play outside. It’s like a playground for
adults, they never want to grow up, and all you
have to do is step outside, and no matter what the weather
is or what the season is, there’s something for you to
do, and this is something that I really miss about mountain
towns, going out my door and seeing trails. They also work to live, not live to work, and let’s say that again,
they like to work to live, not live to work, which
means you don’t care what my job title is, you care
what I do outside of my work, you care if I like to race
bikes or if I like to climb mountains or if I like to
do some paddle boarding, or if I like playing
guitar next to a river. That’s all that really matters. They also have unscheduled
free time, which is something that I miss dearly, and I
used to have a lot of it until I got a new job two weeks ago. So, there was unscheduled
barbecues, you could text people and you’d have 15 people at
your house in a matter of half of an hour, and I miss these things. They also had, kind of,
hey, let’s go hiking, and everyone would be
hiking in two seconds, and I feel like here in the
cities, and you guys can correct me if I’m wrong, but
typically, it’s all about scheduling, scheduling,
scheduling, if you want to see your friend, it’s about
hey, maybe two weeks on a Wednesday, so you guys
get me with this, right? So here, they take more
time to say screw it, I just want to go outside
and I want to fly fish and I want to enjoy my
time and I want to hang out with my family, who are
also our friends and who are our community, and this
one to me, it’s what brings everything together and what
makes the places that we live so great and what makes mountain
towns what mountain towns are is having this community
of people that are always there for you because they love where
they are, they love hanging out together, they love doing
things together, and they usually work together. So in a mountain town, that’s
what glues it altogether here. So again, five, sorry,
love where you live, play outside, work to
live, not live to work, unscheduled free time, and family equals
friends equals community. So, can you do this in the cities? And some of you are
probably saying yeah, maybe. This is me, in a hammock,
reading a book after we rode our bicycles down to the
Mississippi to go fly fishing, and if I knew how to crop
things right on here, you would have seen that
the city was the backdrop, but I can’t do that. Lastly, we can definitely
do it because in our city, we have 200 miles of bike
trails, we have the city of, chain of lakes, we have so
many outdoor opportunities that are at our fingertips, so thank you. (clapping) – Alright, our next speaker,
Jon Ruzek, is a higher education professional who
enjoys pre 1998 pop culture, I’m with him on that one,
social media, air guitar, biographies, and of course,
professional wrestling, of course. Please welcome Jon Ruzek. – What did you love when you were a kid? I loved the Minnesota
twins, Saturday Night Live, and for reasons I didn’t
understand at the time, the annual Sports
Illustrated swimsuit issue. But I especially loved
professional wrestling. My hero, Hulk Hogan,
told me to train hard, say my prayers, and eat my
vitamins, while macho man Randy Savage commanded
snap into a Slim Jim, which now seems like
horrible dietary advice. In the days before on demand
content, I remember putting my name on a waiting
list at the video store to rent a VHS tape of the
very first wrestle mania match featuring the epitome of
1980s machismo, Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. I love the larger than life characters, it made sense at the time. But as I grew older, I moved
on from childhood interests and wrestling began to seem absurd. Hulk and his mates were
like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, they were fake
and so seemed pro wrestling. Fast forward 30 years, the
internet and social media have changed the way we
view and position ourselves online for professional
means, how we shape our personal brand. The whole concept of
branding seems absurd. Some would say absurd like
professional wrestling. But I’m here to tell
you that’s not the case. Wrestling’s story lines may
be as plausible as soap operas or reality television, but
the business and athleticism involved are very much real. I’ve come to appreciate the
inner workings of the industry. How wrestler’s communicate,
cooperate, and execute moves in the ring to entertain
thousands each night. Personal branding is
professional wrestling, and that’s not a bad thing. Here are three things it can teach us. One, be authentic. It’s said that wrestler’s
with the best connection to the audience are
those who play themselves with the volume turned up. They are true to themselves. If a wrestler is in a
role he can’t relate to, the performance is sub par and
will flop with the audience. Case in point, Dwayne Johnson
started wrestling as the character Rocky Maivia,
an all American good guy who was supposed to be a fan favorite. Instead, the audience grew
tired of this forced gimmick and would boo him
relentlessly during matches. A change was needed. He had to adopt a persona more
true to who he actually was. So he channeled his real life
humor, charisma, intensity to become The Rock, and the
rest is box office history. So, who are you trying to be online? Are you representing
something not authentic to yourself or your interests? Don’t rely on something
you don’t believe in, because most people will
see right through it. Think about what really
interests you and align that with what you do online. Two, be a worker. In pro wrestling, the term
worker means someone who exhibits a high level
of ability, performance, and cooperation inside the ring. A worker knows how to
entertain an audience and keep it’s attention
throughout the match. A worker actively seeks
out advice from others, puts in the time necessary
to improve his craft, and is open to collaboration
with his ring partner. So if you don’t put in the
time to define your brand, or seek out advice, or
understand social media platforms that you’re on, your ability
to authentically connect with others will be diminished. Like the wrestler, if you are
ineffective at communicating or just lack the curiosity
to grow your skillset, people will not seek you out
for advice or collaboration. Three, the rub. This is when a more
accomplished wrestler helps and up and coming opponent
gain momentum and become more popular with the audience by
making that person look good during a match, sometimes
even letting that person have a victory. The opposite of the rub
is to bury an opponent, by always making that opponent look weak, by not cooperating with him in the ring, or never letting them have a victory. Do you know people who
make it all about them all the time online? These are often the first people we hide in our news feed, right? Personal branding showed
be more altruistic than just being fixated on a
cloud score or the so called numbers of followers one has. I can tend, we truly advance
ourselves when we sincerely recognize others online
and let them flex their muscles a bit. When we give them the rub. When we show others in their best light. So this is what I ask of each of you. Give someone an unexpected
recommendation on LinkedIn or a shout out on Twitter
tonight for good work or a good talk. If they deserve it, give
other people the victory, spotlight their strengths,
and that good karma will come back to you, I guarantee it. So what’s the moral of this story? Well, you can sometimes
reconnect with a childhood past time, find additional meaning in it, and gain new perspectives. Plus you always have a good
excuse to continue playing with your wrestling toys. And as Minnesota’s Rick
Flare would say, whoo. Thank you, goodnight. – Hey guys, we’re going
to have a quick word from one of our sponsors, Rebecca
Schatz, she’s the founder of Code Savvy and cofounder of CoderDojo. So please welcome to
the stage Rebecca Shatz. (clapping) – Hi. CoderDojo is an international
movement that brings children an awesome new super power,
the ability to program computer and phones and
other digital devices. CoderDojo twin cities meets
right here in Minnesota at the University of Minnesota
on Saturday afternoons. We welcome kids ages eight
to 18, all kinds of kids, to come and build programs
of their own devising out of their own
imagination, helped by our friendly and enthusiastic mentors. Each week, we reach about 80
to 100 kids, and turn away twice that many kids. It’s because we need more
mentors, we need you. People like you who can help out a kid as they’re working through a
problem or suffering failure for the first time. If you’re technical, come
and do this, you’ll love it. If you’re not so technical,
come anyway, we’ll help you with mentor mentoring,
training, and good advice. We have eight different
code groups ranging from python to web technologies to scratch. You can learn more at or on Twitter @CoderDojoTC. I want to thank Ignite for
letting us come and speak briefly, I want to think
Jeremy Wilkins for creating the awesome 30 second video,
which you will see shortly, and I want to thank Matt
Gray for bringing this fantastic program here to Minnesota. Together, we can create a diverse
new code savvy generation. Let’s do it, Ignite. (clapping) – Now we’re just going
to have a quick word from another one of our sponsors,
The University of St. Thomas Opus School of Business. Please welcome to the stage
Corey Akins and Clark Gregor. – Which one of these two
guys runs the MBA program? Believe it or not, it’s me. My name is Corey Akins, I’m
the director of the evening MBA program at the
University of St. Thomas. The reason we sponsor a cool
event like this is because of the weirdos, the energy,
the confidence, the people that get up here and speak their
mind, say what they believe in and reflect their values. Those are the kinds of
business leader we look for at the University of St. Thomas. So, I like to say we’re not
building corporate monkeys to go in and sit in their cube
all day, we like independent thinkers who, again,
support things like this, support the community, get
engaged with their community and want to be a part of
something that they believe in. Several of these speeches
already spoke to the core values that we have at St. Thomas and
the Opus College of Business, so we’re very pleased to be
involved with this event. We’ve got two student’s that
have been speaking tonight. We’ve got several alumni in
the crowd I know as well, so St. Thomas is very
connected to the twin cities and to ignite, so thank you very much. – So as you came in tonight,
each of you was handed a red raffle ticket and we’re going to do a raffle drawing. Inside this St. Thomas
purple box is an iPad, and so let’s draw our first
winner, and I said first, which means we have three
iPads to give away through the rest of the night. Alright, so the number is seven
seven eight seven one nine. Seven seven eight seven one nine. You must be present to win. Hey, alright we’ll be back
later to do two more drawings. – We’re going to get started with our next round of speakers. The second half is also
known as the I’m a little bit drunker and everything’s
a little bit funnier half. Alright, our next speaker is Aly Wallberg. Aly is is a marketing professional and public speaking enthusiast. She only pays attention to
politics when the candidates are giving speeches. Please welcome Aly Wallberg. – You’re probably feeling
something, looking at the words and hearing the words Sarah Palin. Love, fear, disgust, it’s
OK, feel your feelings. We’re all in this together. Tonight, I’m going to
take you back to 2008 when Sarah Palin gave her
republican party vice presidential nomination exception address. The old pitbbull in lipstick speech. In it, she says you know, they say the only different between a hockey mom and a pitbull, lipstick. Six years ago, I began writing
what would eventually be 100 pages of rhetorical analysis
on her speech, thank you. It was a long road, but
I argue that Sarah Palin gave one hell of a speech
that night in 2008. Tonight, I’m going to share
with you the three things that Sarah Palin taught me
about life that influenced my life as an academic, as
well as my career in marketing. First, understand your audience. When Sarah Palin got up on
that stage, not many people knew who she was, she kind
of popped up out of nowhere, outside of Alaska, but she
really connected with her audience and had complete command. Part of my study was looking at the speech using a rhetorical model, so
I looked at her credibility as a speaker, her emotional
appeals, and her arguments. Her credibility, she really
built up that small town PTA mom kind of charm, her
emotional connection with stories about her family, her
community really bolstered that pathos, as well as the
republican party’s platform. And she talked about McCain’s
valor and Obama’s lack of experience, which
really upped the logos. And love it or hate
it, it actually worked. 37.2 million people tuned in,
that was more than our friend Joe Biden, more than the
Olympics opening ceremonies that year, the Oscars, and the
American Idol season finale, so that’s pretty impressive. A lot of people tuned in to
see what was going to happen. There she is. Hey. And she really taught me
that marketing is nothing if not understanding your audience. Truly understanding them and
giving them the right message at the right time. Now Sarah Palin, secondly,
committing to authenticity, she has a very particular
kind of authentic and real, from the way she speaks
to her language to her rimless frames on her
glasses, she’s a particular kind of authentic. She’s one of us. Look, she cooks. In her speech she says that luxury jet, I out it on eBay, it was over the top. And then one of her most
memorable lines from that night, you know, Americans, we need
to produce more of our own oil and gas, and take
it from a gal who knows the north slope of Alaska,
we got lot’s of both. And as a gal, Palin successfully
navigated the competing roles that women are often
forced to play in politics. You know, she plays this
kind of rough and tumble gun tooting gal who’s also
feminine, a pioneer, and a beauty queen. Now I am authentic in a very different way than Sarah Palin, there’s not
as much firearms in my life, but I’ve learned I really
just need to be real. Finally, know when to stop. So we all know that the
discourse around Sarah Palin has changed significantly over the years since she gave that speech. You know, Obama won, McCain
lost, and she just kept right on talking. She gave us gems like I can
see Russia from my house, just classic stuff. I studied her speech in a
very fixed particular point in history, so I didn’t
necessarily need to look at all the stuff that came after, but I
have paid particular attention. You know, there’s thousands
of websites and thousands of people who think that
it’s a good idea to do Sarah Palinisms. Thousands of people, think
of all the good that energy could be put towards, but it’s
interesting, it’s interesting to kind of take a look at that. There are also blogs upon
blogs of doctored photos, as well as catching her
in inopportune moments, again, thousands of
people, and all of this could be an entire dissertation
in visual rhetoric. But all of it, all of it
started that night in 2008, all of this discourse, and
I’ve learned the lesson that sometimes you just
need to stop talking. It’s a little difficult
for me, I tend to be a bit of an over communicator, but
I try to think before I speak. I argue that Sarah Palin’s
speech was a resounding success. You may love her, you may
hate her, but her rhetoric really struck a chord that
night throughout the country. I take three things from
Sarah Palin that really have influenced me and I offer
them to you tonight. Know your audience, be authentically you, and no when to stop, which
for me, is right about now. Thank you. (clapping) – This might be a good time
for me to kill some time which means that I am
being asked to sing the periodic table of elements
song, and I just got past it, sike. Alright, while Yael Grauer may
excel at writing and editing, she is but a dabbler in
the mediocrity of various other activities, including
Olympic weight lifting, wilderness survival,
and Brazilian jujitsu. Please welcome to the stage, Yael Grauer. – Hi everybody. OK, I would like you to raise
your hand if you’ve ever said that you really want to try
something, but if you were going to be good at it,
you would of figured it out already, so you’re just
not going to even try. Well, I’m here to tell you
that mediocrity is actually really underrated. People will tell you that it’s
bad and that what you really need to do is excel in everything,
but I just want to prove to you that doing something
kind of OK is actually a lot more helpful in your
life than not being able to do anything at all. Now, I don’t really believe
in David and Goliath, and I’m not going to sit here
and tell you that even if you don’t have the appropriate attributes, you’ll be able to just practice
something enough and be able to beat people that
are a lot better than you, but what I am going to
tell you is that you can get significantly better at something. 10,000 hours, they’ve proven,
is not really a guarantee so if you think you need
to practice something for a certain amount of
time to get to a level, that’s really not the case. It’s something that, you know,
some people are automatically better at things than
others, and some people have attributes that make them better. So if you have really long
arms, you might be a better basketball player, that’s
just the way that things are, but to be able to actually
try and do something, instead of stopping yourself
before you even get started can help your other levels. Even if you are performing
at a really high level, because there’s just a really split second difference between getting a
silver middle and a gold medal, that doesn’t necessarily make
you happy, even if you’re at a world cup level, so
what’s really important is to enjoy the process of whatever it is that you’re trying to
accomplish, and everything that you can learn along the
way, and that’s why I think it’s important to really
focus on the journey instead of just what you’re
trying to accomplish. This is something that
I’ve learned, myself, in Brazilian jujitsu, because
it took me seven years of training, well actually
it was about four years of training in a seven year
period to get my blue belt, which is something that took
people, other people about one or two years. So, I’m significantly mediocre. This is me winning a
tournament, and it made a really good picture on Facebook,
but I actually lost seven competitions, I actually lost seven matches that very same day, so if I didn’t enjoy the
process along the way, then it really wouldn’t
of been worth it for me and what I learned along the way. This is me, I got to
train with Marcelo Garcia, who is not mediocre by any
stretch of the imagination, but when I showed up at
the door of his academy, nobody asked me how good I
was or how long it took me to get my blue belt. OK, so HTML, I am never
going to be a developer, but because I spent an
afternoon learning very mediocre HTML, I can fix errors
on my own website without calling anybody at two in
the morning, because I know how to delete spantimes. I’m a really bad gardener, but
I can still grow vegetables, and I promise you that
no matter how bad you are at gardening, eventually
something will grow that you can eat. I’m really bad at pottery,
this is the bottom of the first pot I made. Nobody sees that side, though,
and nobody ever tells me oh the lace patterning on
the bottom of your first bowl looks like crap, you know? I really enjoyed hanging
out with my friend and learning how to mediocrely do that, and then also, like, language, in other countries, if you
try to speak their language, they’re actually incredibly
forgiving, so nobody’s going to go up to you and say you
know, language acquisition is really better when you’re
a kid, and you’re never going to be able to
improve at the level that these kids do. Music, if you play guitar
badly, you’re still really fun at parties. As opposed to not even trying
because you’ll just never be amazing at it and
you’ll never get on stage. Improv is another thing
that I’m really bad at, but because I learned improv,
I’m a little bit better at getting up on stage,
which I would never do if I was afraid of mediocrity. And then, cooking. So, you might not be a chef,
but I can guarantee you that you don’t have to be
a chef in order to learn how to make food that’s far
less expensive and tailored to your tastes than what
you get at a restaurant. So I think that’s another
really important skill to learn how to do mediocrely so
that you can feed yourself. Really, what I think is that
it’s all about the mindset. Is your mindset I’m going,
going to be about getting to a level where you can
accomplish something, or are you going to have to be amazing
at something before you even try it, because there’s
really limited time, and actually being able
to try to do something and getting to a mediocre
level at it is a lot better than just sitting on your ass. So in closing, I just
want to encourage you to get up and do something, because
doing something relatively well is a lot better than
never trying to do it all. And, yeah. (clapping) – Samantha is a legal
marketing guru, craft fanatic, and expert on the subject of
friends, both the T.V. show, and the process of making them. Please welcome to the
stage Samantha Garretto. So there comes a stage in
your life, in your friendship, where friendships will
cross this line from cordial acquaintance to I’m just
going to stop wearing pants around you, and the thing
is that I’m actually not talking about romantic
relationships at all, I am talking totally
platonic BFF, and I know that we all have this person,
because this is going to be the one that you vent to
about your significant other on a regular basis, and
they’re also going to be the recipient of your most
heinous selfie text messages. Now something I think we can
all agree on is that making friends in your adult life
is a very difficult process, because the mutual interest
between you and the goons who surround you on a
regular basis are no longer guaranteed to be nutty
ice and college parties. Now something that I’ve come
to notice is that the process of making friends after
you’re done with this stage in your life is actually
the same process as dating a romantic interest, except
now you’re usually paying for more of your own drinks. So, the stages of friend
dating starts with a common interest, and this common
interest can be anything. It can be running club,
cake decorating class, cooking meth, bitching about
your boss, whatever it is that’s going to get you
talking to somebody with the same interests as you. Now, from this common interest
develops what I like to call the friend crush, and
I know that we all know what this is, because
there’s always going to be that one person that you
creepily admire from afar. Now, the thing about this
friend crush is that it actually kind of ends up
turning into this like borderline creepy adoration, right? So maybe you’re in cake
decorating class and you see this girl across the table
and her frosting rosettes look like something out of a
Martha Stewart living magazine, and you think to yourself,
like, I just want to be your friend, I just
want to talk to her, right? So start some small talk,
see whether or not you want to make the move onto stage two. Now, there is no way to
make stage two not sound like you are completely coming
on to your friend crush, but I have some do’s and
don’ts from an actual example that I’m going to share with you. So, the first thing you
want to do is show them that you’ve paid attention to
something that they’ve mentioned. So, hope you had fun
celebrating your birthday. Another thing that you
want to do is show them that you’re interested
in seeing them again. Let me know if you ever want to meet up. Things that you generally
want to stay away from are ending in winky faces,
being overly flirtatious, or really just being creepy in general, because the goal here, and
really in any relationship, is to not cross that line
between friendly and interested, and creepy and irritating
when you’re trying to land a first date. Now, the first randevu is
always going to be within the realm of your common interests, right? So maybe going for a
run, trying a new bakery, having lunch at the office,
whatever it is that connects you to this common interest. So pay attention to the types
of conversation that you’re going to have during this first date. Are you strictly exhausting
all sub topics of your common interests, or are
you moving on into more meaningful dialogues? Talking about your hopes and your dreams and celebrity crush list because, I mean, this is stuff we got to know, right? So, if the night ends in
a hug and an oh my gosh, this was so fun, we should
totally do it again sometime, you’re probably good to
go for a second date. Switch it up this time, invite
them over to your place, maybe cook dinner, watch
the game, but if I can make one recommendation, please
just make sure you clean your apartment before they
come over, because we all know that a nasty stink
is not going to keep the dates coming back. So, eventually, you guys
are going to be hitting these milestones that are going to further deepen your relationship, right? So, yeah, make sure you just
clean your apartment, OK? So, eventually you guys
are going to be hitting these milestones that are going to further deepen your bond, so
there’s going to come point where you invite them to your
friends, because when you guys start planning a future
together, you going to want to make sure that they fit
in in those friend outings. There will come a point
where the two of you become inseparable. You know, there’s going to come
a time where you’re sitting on the couch, drinking
a beer and eating pizza, watching the T.V. show
you started together, and you’re going to think
to yourself this is the one. Now at this point, they’ve
probably met your entire extended family, and your mom
will question your sexuality when you continue bring this
person as your friend date to family functions, right? You guys tell each other how
much you love each other, you talk about how much
trouble you’re going to cause when you grow old together,
and there’s a good chance that you’re actual romantic
interest feels like the third wheel when the three
of you guys hang out, right? So, I want everybody to go
out there and make a move on their friend crush, and I
know for a fact that you all have one, right? Start tonight, Ignite Minneapolis. Turn to the person next to you when we’re switching speakers,
start up some small talk. You guys have had a couple beers in you, ask them out on a date, feel it out, because there may come
a day when you’re actual romantic relationship
spontaneously combusts, and I know you’re going
to want some support. So luckily for me, I have the
friend from cake decorating class to help me eat an
entire can of frosting in one sitting, and I also
have the friend from the gym to help me run it off the next day. Thank you. (clapping) – I’m Don Burgundy, anchor man. – Shelby. – I’m Shelby Burgundy, anchor man. – [Voiceover] We take storage
seriously, but not yourselves. It’s simple. We bring you the news. No pop up ads, and the
most important headlines in one easy to read
platform, saving you time, providing context, all
with a little personality. – And our weatherman,
Rick Kachel-van-len-ken. – Hello, Ignite. I want to tell you about CoderDojo. We are a free program
where mentors help students who learn to code. – Coding is like a super power. It gives you the ability
to create real things to solve real world problems. – [Matt] It’s never been more
important to know how to code in today’s economy. – [Rebecca] We’ve served
almost two thousand kids, but we’ve turned away an equal number. – [Matt] We can change that. – [Rebecca] We need more mentors. – [Matt] Together, we can inspire a future code savvy generation. You can learn more about how you can help at (clapping) – Thanks Samantha, for that last talk. That was actually really
really helpful for me. I used to think there was
kind of a texting etiquette when it comes to dating or friend dating, so my rule of thumb was
usually to wait, you know, a couple years just to be
safe, and then text a hey, sup. Not going to lie, it hasn’t worked. John Joyce, our next speaker,
is a north sider at heart who resides in the western
suburbs of Plymouth, Minnesota. He loves movies, and is here to talk about one in particular. Please welcome John Joyce. – Thank you. I want to think Ignite,
Minneapolis, the people of Riverview, and the south siders. Being a north sider, I’m not
really used to being here on this south side stuff. A little too white out here,
but don’t worry about that, you guys all look the same
to me, so it’s no problem. Alright, alright, sometimes
you have, oh we’re going, good. They jumped to the first one. Tonight we’re going to talk
about the greatest movie ever made about getting a job. It’s 75 years old, it’s
been shown in this theater, in the Heights, and in the Camden. It is The Wizard of Oz. It is memorable, and it’s
as relevant today as it was back then. This movie, when you look at
it, and you lose your job, you’re in the job where
you probably think I need a different job. You look at these people
and they’re thinking, well look at the middle
guy, look at all of them. They want to be somewhere else,
they want a different job, but when you’re thinking
that way at your job, you usually lose your job. Yeah, you lose your job just
like a tornado hits you. You lose your job like a
hurricane or a twister. You have no idea when you’ve
been outsourced, offshore’d, or you’ve just been laid off. The worst part is if you
look, your boss is riding your bike home. It’s not a good thing, but it does work. And then you end up in a
world that you have no clue where you are. It’s totally different
people, you’ve got government regulations, you’ve got these
little people talking to you, telling you everything you
need to do, and if you look close, some people even
write you off as dead. Don’t let that happen to you. What you need is a plan. Dorothy had a plan, you need a plan. Follow the yellow brick road. Update the resume, get
on Indeed, LinkedIn, start to network. Network with everybody you can. You can do it. And when you network,
don’t forget to network with the people that are high up. It’s good to have networking
with people in high places, and don’t forget your
little friend Toto, too. You need to bring your friends
along, but your friends need to be a certain type. They need to be smart,
they need to have heart, and they need to help you face your fears. Without those friends, you’re
not going to make it in this. But if you notice they’re
with you, lock step, sometimes skipping, and you’re following. But be careful, too. There’s people out there
claiming to be your friends, they want to help you,
they’re really not out there to help you. As they saying goes, it
only takes one bad apple, and we don’t want that to
happen to you when you’re looking for a job. But when you do have that
job, like we heard earlier in the golden parachute,
have those companies listed, which ones you want to work for. Find out what they’re about,
and find out who’s in there, and again, you can see those companies. You can start moving towards them. That’s what you need to do,
but remember, too, at this day in age, they’re all going
to give you a drug test. So stay away from the
poppies, the non medical pharmaceuticals, don’t
touch them, and if you come from Colorado, forget it mountain
women, don’t even try it. And then when you get
there, you need to have your elevator speech, you need
to be able to tell them in 30 seconds or less who
you are, what you want, why you’re there and
how you can help them. Some of us have to do it in 15 seconds. And then, because I want to keep my job where I work, I can’t use this department, but there are departments
in companies large and small that are working to keep you out. They’re trying to say no
to you and they’re looking for every reason, don’t give
it to them because when you go onto their online computer
application, you look at it, do what the tin man did,
you need to sharpen your ax. That’s right, get back, get
some more certs, get a higher education, go back to school,
you can work through that, and then this one, I have
nothing for it, I just liked the slide. But in the corporate world,
if you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes,
just remember that. This working? Oh yeah, just checking, OK, and then you finally
get the interview, it’s time for you to step up. That’s right, put on the
shoes, get the ruby slippers, do your hair, and Mary said it right. If you change your underwear,
you can change your life. Sorry, you’ll get it later. When you have the interview
and you meet the man, that’s the person with
the money, the authority, the need, you need to
stand up there, toe to toe, you need to look them in the eye. You need to be able to
ask good, smart questions, show that you have heart
and you have no fear. We also learn about the golden
parachute, that’s your job and you’re not in it. You need a plan B, but
I’m the golden parachute, he has a job, don’t be a dick. Go back for your friends
and save them, OK? Finally, your plan B. Remember, if you work
hard, you follow the plan, you always have the power,
each and every one of you. You have the power inside
to change your job, your life, your career. So when you do get that
dream job, don’t go on these work hours like mountain
world, you need to get out of bed, get to your job,
quit talking to your friends and family that tell
you how good your doing and get out of there. Ignite, thank you, I appreciate it. Have a beautiful night. (clapping) – The other day, I actually
developed a really slick formula for determining
whether or not a movie is on Netflix. You just ask yourself do
I want to see this movie, and the answer is yes,
then it’s not on Netflix. I did check, though, and
I believe The Wizard of Oz is on there, so unless
they got wind of this talk, hopefully it’s still there tonight. Our next speaker, Namdev
Hardisty is a designer, author and teacher. He’s a partner in the MVA studio, a design and marketing agency, and
teaches at the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. Please welcome Namdev Hardisty. – Alright, so last winter
I picked up the movie Gerhard Richter Painting to
show to my freshman art students and I actually knew
nothing about the movie, but within about 10 minutes,
I felt like a hopeless amateur in comparison
to Richter’s discipline. And since then, I have
basically lived by the words what would Gerhard Richter do? So I’m screwing around,
I’m supposed to be working, I’m in the baesment, I’m not
focused, and then I think like what would Gerhard Richter
do, and I shut down all the browser windows and I
hide my phone for a while. Now, Richter is rich, he’s
widely considered the world’s greatest living artist, he
has shows around the world at any given moment, so I
can’t actually teach you how to paint like Gerhard
Richter, but I can show you, maybe, three things that
I think can help you work like Richter and that
maybe help to explain some of his success. So number one is delegate. So the film opens, Richter’s
assistants are filtering paint through a cheese cloth to
get the imperfections out, and you think, like, oh,
Richter is one of these ultra rich art star artists
who has an army of assistants to help him make his work. Like Damien Hirst, Takashi
Murakami or the late great Thomas Kinkade. But, it turns out that
that’s not the case. Richter offloads everything
that he doesn’t need to be doing to his,
like, trusted assistants, but then he focuses, goes into the studio, and he works by himself
with no interruptions and no distractions at all. And that brings us to point
number two, which is do one thing at a time. So productivity geeks often
talk about the idea of a distraction free working,
writing environment, Richter has a distraction
free working environment, there is nothing in his
studio besides the painting, a thing of coffee, and the tools he needs to make the painting. There’s not even music playing,
which is supposed to be, like, the stereotypical way
that artists get inspiration. So, story about Mozart. Some researchers in the
00s wanted to find out if listening to classical
music could make you perform better on a test. They took two groups of students. Group one, total silence,
does a multiple choice test, group two listens to
Mozart while doing it. They both score the same,
but group two notices it misses something. That all the answers are in a
pattern, and it’s essentially like they looked at this
picture, or a landscape and they go oh there’s green plants,
and they can’t tell the difference between the
grass and the trees. Richter needs to notice
those things to make hundred thousand dollar paintings. Now, I know a lot of people
that are afraid to sort of out source anything, so I
say start with your laundry. It’s a colossal waste of
time, it will only take 25 dollars to have someone
else do it, and then use that time to do something
that you care about. It’s simple, but I think
this is how Richter gets 30 new works done in a year,
and 10 solo exhibitions at the age of 83. One note, don’t use
that time to catch up on Orange is the new Black, that
is not getting something done. Richter’s studio is what
you would expect from a multi millionaire artist. Beautiful white walls, high
ceilings, tons of space with great light, but it’s also a gallery. So he’s actually making the
paintings in the context that the viewer’s going to see them in. Here he is at his workstation,
it’s actually like quite a distance from the
paintings, so he’s constantly moving around, and it’s almost
as if he’s a gallery viewer looking at his own work. Later, when the paintings
are finished, his assistants are going to move them
into a real gallery space that they have on premise,
and they’re going to live here for like two or three weeks
while Richter just decides if they’re good or not. And a lot of the times,
they’re not good, they go back in the studio and they turn white. I call this process playing
close to the context, which is you start with
the big picture in mind right off the bat, and
you never forget about it. I’m going to talk about how
I use this for this talk. So, I’m a graphic designer,
my natural instinct is to spend way to much
time on the slides. But this is the first draft of the slides. I knew that the important
thing here was like you don’t care about the slides,
you care about can I tell the story in five minutes,
so I needed to get as quickly as possible to something
that would allow me to tell the story and be measurable. Another instance of this,
where I failed, was designing some posters. So the upper right
corner, I’m designing it, I’m kind of mocking it up
on the computer screen, it looks good when I’m
a foot away from it, and then when I actually
put it up, it’s like way too quite for a busy street. I should’ve made a full sized prototype, and then it would have been fine. The lower right corner
was the Instragram thing where the distance worked out fine. So this is my replay there. Delegate, do one thing at a
time, play close to the context. I think that these simple
things, that this is how Richter can produce over 2,000 artworks,
over 200 solo exhibitions, roughly 50 books since
having a stroke in 1998 at the age of 66, and
he is guaranteed to work less than anyone in this room. So, if you’re at your desk,
you’re screwing around, you’re not focused, clear
everything off and ask yourself, what would Gerhard Richter do, Thank you. (clapping) – Alright, and we’re going
to have another message from our friends at St. Thomas. – Alright, so we get to do another raffle, get your tickets. I did get a tweet asking for
me to draw a special one, so we’ll see. Alright, a hush falls over the crowd. Seven seven eight seven zero eight. Seven seven eight seven zero eight. Hey, OK. (chatting) – Alright, our next speaker
is Jeremy Striffler. Jeremy is headed to
Fargo at the end of June to compete in the men’s
divisions of the Dakota games. The lessons Jeremy has
learned competing on the field have greatly transformed
his thinking about life off the field. Please welcome Jeremy Striffler. – This is me in grade school with my big foam hat and glasses, and
like those pair of khaki, I definitely didn’t belong
on the baseball field. I was not athletically gifted as a child. So, this is me now. I’m not the strongest guy
out there, or the fastest, but I can hold my own
and I’m in the best shape of my life. However, I want to go back
to me as a kid for a sec, because despite my lack
of athletic ability, I played basketball
and baseball and soccer and lot’s of other sports,
and more importantly, I competed and I did so
without giving it much thought, and that in itself is nothing
special because that’s pretty much the story
for all of us as kids. Competing seems to be a natural instinct. Whether it’s recess or just
hanging on the playground, you could challenge any kid
to a race and they usually would say yes without
hesitation, because we as humans seem to love competition. We gather in stadiums, in
arenas, or around the T.V. practically every day just
to watch men and women go head to head on the
pursuit and glory of winning. But my question is it, why
is it when we become adults, we leave the competing
to the professionals? Why are we seemingly happy
to just relegate ourselves to the sidelines, rather than
being out there one the field like we did when we were kids? Over the last few years,
fitness and exercise has had a big impact on my life. I’ve lost weight, I feel
better, and I’ve been able to achieve a few of my
goals, like running a 5K and completing a mud run. However, in these past few
months, I’ve realised that participating is not competing. Going to the starting
line with the mindset that you want to win is a lot different than wanting to finish. Competition can bring a real
transformative experience in your life, but it’s more
than just getting in the ring and going the 15 rounds. You have to fight for the win
and want to be the champion. And many of you might
be afraid, like I was, to compete because you
think you’re going to lose. Well, guess what, you are. You are going to lose,
we all do, but that’s OK because learning teaches you something. Back in February, I did
the freeze fest challenge in Saint Paul, and my teammate Alice and I had an awful time. I dropped her during the partner carry, my jump rope broke during
the middle of the event, and by the end of the morning,
we were in last place. But we had shown up that day to win. And so rather than just throwing the towel and just pat ourselves on the
back because we showed up, we decided to dig deep
and fight and go for it. And so by the end of it,
we went from 59th place, to 47th. We didn’t win, but it
was a victory for us, more importantly, it was a
transformative moment for me, because I realised that
in the face of defeat, I was actually resilient,
I was not fragile. I had grit, and that’s
what competing in sports as adults does, it doesn’t
only teach us what our bodies are capable of, but also what
our heart and minds can do. And training to compete is
also informative, because it’s made me examine other aspects
of my life, because I wonder am I putting as much time
and effort into my career and my relationships as I
am into being in the gym? You know, with my family,
am I just participating in their lives or am I
just showing up when it’s convenient and easy, or am
I trying to be the best son, the best sibling, the best uncle? And with others, am I just
a friend or am I being the best friend, going above and beyond? Am I just watching life pass
me by, just assuming at some point I’ll get to the finish line? Or am I trying to make
myself successful every day? You know, competing in sports
as an adult teaches you that life is not as
fulfilling if you don’t take any risks. So often in my life,
everything was calculated and planned because I didn’t
want to lose, and the problem with that is when you never
allow yourself to lose, you never give yourself the chance to win. And so, competing in sports
as an adult is important, and I encourage you all to do
so, because it can bring about great physical and mental
changes, but more importantly, when you compete as an
adult, you demand yourself to be the best every single day. Thank you. (clapping) – Alright, Mary Hirsch. Mary was born in a log hospital. She was in the creative
writing program at the University of Minnesota,
where she met many people who wrote about the bleakness of life, and love symbolism. Today she is a marketing
manager for a law firm, which she understands
gives her a direct shot to H E double hockey sticks. Basically, she’s real swell. Please welcome Mary Hirsch. – I didn’t know if I’d
make it up the steps without having an asthma attack. – Alright, I want to let
you know, if I exchange the pair on the left for
the pair on the right, it would change my walk. I don’t know if it would
change my life, but this is actually an advice book,
I thought it was a joke. I came up with this concept,
and I looked, googled it, and I found these people
changed, well, they got rid of their underwear to have
their picture taken. So, there are a ton of
advice books out there, probably better than that one, and these are some of the
most popular ones out there. I read the secret, and
I don’t know what it is. If you don’t want to read,
there’s plenty of people who will tell you what to do,
you know, you got Opera, you got Yoda, you got Dr.
Phil, you got Dr. Ruth, don’t worry, someone,
it may be your family, will tell you what to do. There’s a lot of advice out
there, and I want to kind of give you some idea of
advice that’s been given, so maybe when you get
advice, you’ll go huh, maybe that’s not true just
because someone wrote it in a book. This guy, Louie, in
1500s wrote about women that they’re not endowed for
things of brain and brawn, therefore they should keep
themselves busy with things that are useless and frivolous. This lady suggested that
one of the best ways to protect your wedding ring
is to dip it in dish wash water three times a day. I think this husband is a
little too relaxed for me. Dorothy was an advice
columnist and she said that the typical American girl
is a young women determined to have a boyish figure,
even if she has to starve to accomplish it. She’s the mother of anorexia. Romance writer and part time
clown, Barbara Cartland, said of course a husband
will leave things for you to pick up, and quite frankly,
that is what a wife is for. Don Diebel suggests if you
want to find Mr. Right, don’t pass up that hitchhiker, ladies, because the majority of
hitchhikers are not dangerous. Like Ted Bundy. In the 80s, they took
kid’s books and turned them into syndromes. I think today, we have to have, you know, change your captain
underwear, change your life. This book was in my generation,
and it said if you’re quite large, carry interesting purses. This is the biggest
blanking lie of them all, from Kotex. Growing up and liking it,
the fun is just beginning. And they weren’t done. Now they had them on that
little thing over the adhesive of light days with tips for
life, like drinking eight glasses of water, why don’t
they just say if you’re big, get some interesting purses. I love kid’s books to
help them, my favorite is Oops, I wet my pants, which
I was thinking of as I was waiting in line for the
lady’s room, and I like it because the titles aren’t
misleading like this. Congress For Dummies is not
the Michele Bachmann story. And Depression For Dummies is mean. This is the worst thing
I’ve ever seen in my life. Love yourself like your
life depends on it, and then it gives you,
like, visual aids in case you don’t love yourself,
to just move on to. This one, the one on the left
is not about the same subject as the one the right. It’s misleading, it’s really misleading. This one, the one on
the left is for women, tuning up their brains,
and the one on the right is for men tuning up their brains. At least that’s the rumor,
that’s just the rumor. And the best advice I
ever got, surprisingly, was from my ex-husband, and
he said Mary, if you wish in one hand and you shit in
the other, which do you have more of? So I hope when you go for
advice, you don’t get a handful of shit, thank you. (clapping) – Alright, and we have another raffle. – The only way to follow
that is a prize, so, let’s draw one last ticket. Alright, the number is seven
seven eight seven eight nine. Come on down. Was it you, no, that’s security. Way in the back. You’re the next contestant on Ignite. – So, I was inspired by Mary’s
talk, so I actually looked up some of the current,
current advice that you see all the time on the internet. So if you’ve been on, if you
have internet, you’ve probably seen some of the countless listicles. Essentially, you take an
article, you remove any serious journalism,
and you just number out whatever remains. So some of my favorite internet
lists include the following: 25 of the hunkiest Egyptian
protesters, 20 Disney princesses with a serious case of bitch
face, my personal favorite, hedgehogs with things
that look like hedgehogs, and this one, this was
a little heartbreaking, 10 ways to improve your marriage
while you’re still single. If anyone wants the links
to those, just let me know. Our next speaker, Kurt, is the
founder and chief technology officer at Clockwork Active Media. He says fuck a lot, and as
such, he is normally shielded from public view. Please welcome Kurt Koppelman. – You hear a lot about rockstar
programmers these days, and you always hear a
lot about professionals. Well, I maintain you don’t
want to be either one of those. I put fourth tonight the
fucking pro as the ideal for which we should all strive. So when it comes to taking credit, the rockstar is all about themselves. They say look what I did, I
am a fucking awesome rockstar, whereas the professional
says look what we achieved by leveraging core
competencies across multiple communication methods. The fucking pro, on the other
hand, says look what happened. Fuck yeah, that was
awesome, let’s do it again. They care more about what
they’re trying to accomplish than they do, frankly,
about getting credit for it. Liz Lemon is a perfect
example of a fucking pro. When it comes to things like
work, you know, you’re awesome ripped rockstar shirt
doesn’t get the work done, and professionals futily
toiling away on their enterprise grade cluster
fuck, doesn’t necessarily add value to the world. The fucking pro delivers. Wayne Gretzky wasn’t the
fastest, he wasn’t the strongest, he was just the best. His record for most goals
in a season in 1981 and 82 still stands today, and
he’s a pretty humble guy for a guy whose nickname is the great one. When it comes to things like work habit, you know, rockstars are
known for their all nighters. Yeah, I pulled an all
nighter last night, dude, whereas the professional
just sort of plods along, shows up with their lunchbox, might get some work done today, might not. The fucking pro knows you
need those great bursts, you need those quantum
leaps, but you also need the consistent effort. You got to show up everyday
and move the ball forward, even if you’re in, sort of,
marination mode, you got to get there and move the
ball forward every day. When it comes to things
like slogging through, the rockstar is the first one
to bitch when shit gets tough. This sucks, man, management
fucked up, what are we even doing this for? But the professional goes
all Eeyore on you again. All hope is lost, what are we going to do? The fucking pro, on the
other hand, will free climb, the fucking pro will free
climb the cliffs of insanity if they have to. They prefer our trusted companion
to throw them up a rope, but either way, they are
going up those cliffs. The men in black is a
contimate fucking pro. When it comes to problem
solving, rockstars get too caught up in too early in
the computer science domain. They’re all about API’s and
object models, whereas the professional gets stuck on
the business domain on RLI and KPA, and those things
are important, but the fucking pro is focused
in the problem domain. They’re trying to find out
what the real problem is. What are really trying to accomplish here? What do the humans need? We don’t need all the strenuous bullshit to solve the problem. When it comes to things like methodology, the rockstar is the first
one who’s going to go home, read a book on a methodology
they’ve never tried, and then come in and tell
you how it’s going to fix all your problems, whereas
the professional will have a break backing 19 point
software development lifecycle that they want you to hear. The fucking pro knows the
methodology should fit the situation and the constraints. The sandbag line developed
for a reason, it works. It’s not glamorous, you’d
rather have a construction crew show up and build you a
dike, but you don’t have time for that in flood situation. Sometimes you just got to do what works. When it comes to testing, the
rockstar is the awesome guy who builds stuff and some
other schlep is supposed to test it, whereas the
professional, it’s the thing after you do, you do
after the first 18 points of the SDLC. The fucking pro knows that
testing is part of the art of programming. You cannot be a great
programmer if you are not a great tester, and if you
want to be a great tester, I have one piece of concrete
advice, read this book. This book changed the
way I look at programming and it’s a really interesting read. When it comes to mistakes,
you know, the rockstar, it’s always somebody else’s fault. The PM fucked up, management
fucked up, the QA missed it, it’s never them, whereas the
professional, the process is always at fault. No matter how bad a human
being may have fucked up, somehow it’s always the processes fault. The fucking pro knows we all have our Barney Fife moments. The fucking pro can be
vulnerable and admit they just had one, they can say oh
fuck, sorry, I made a mistake. When it comes to politics,
you know, the rockstar’s like oh this bullshit politics at
work, man, it’s all bullshit. Of course it’s never them, it’s always everybody else, right? And the professionals go to
team building seven hours with trust falls and shit. The fucking pro knows
that if you get two people in a room, you’ve got
politics, but the key is to transcend those politics and
how do you transcend politics? You do that by caring more
about what you’re trying to accomplish than you do,
frankly, about what it means to you what you get out
of it, your territory. So we don’t, yet, at
least, live in a distopia, so it won’t be, hopefully,
as hard for us as it was for Harry Tuttle from the movie
Brazil, but it’s not easy being a fucking pro, but wherever you go, whatever you do, strive to be fucking pro. (clapping) – Alright, our next and
last speaker, Rachel. Rachel spends her days as
the marketing manager at Brave New Workshop Comedy Theater, whoo. She spends her nights
going to see live music, playing bar trivia, cooking too much food, and avoiding cleaning her apartment. Please welcome Rachel. – Alright, last
presentation, let’s do this. Alright, my name is Rachel and I am a Jew and I am here tonight to
talk to you about some of the questions that I get
asked frequently as a Jew, and, you know, make the safe space. So ogival, we have a lot to
get through, so let’s do this. Before I start talking, my credentials. Here’s a picture of me at
my bat mitzvah in 1996. I become an adult in
the eyes of the temple, and the next day, I went
back to the seventh grade. Just look at it. Number one question I get asked as a Jew. Do Jews believe in Jesus? And the answer, the short answer
is yes, but not in the way that you think. What you’re asking is do Jews
believe that Jesus is God, lord and savior, son of God,
and the answer to that is no. We believe that he existed,
but we really think of him more as like this guy. He’s a rebel rouser, a change
maker, he definitely existed, he definitely was
notable, but he’s not god, he’s not a part of our divine theology. The number two question is
how come Jewish holidays are always on a different day every year? As you can can see, this is
the calender that we all know and love in the western
world, so this is what we’re used to working with,
but the Jewish calender is a lunar calender, so that
means that every single month is exactly 28 days long,
so it looks like that. So as you can tell, there’d
be some real problems with misaligning like
harvest festivals and things, so a few hundred years
ago, I don’t know how long, the scholars got together and
decided to add a leap month, so every seven months,
there’s something called Adar two. Now, there’s a month called
Adar, and it’s just called Adar two. As for the name, I don’t
know, maybe they just wanted to go home early that day, but it’s just, that’s what we have every seven
years, we have a leap month. Hannukah is the Jewish Christmas, right? No, it is not. Hannukah is actually kind
of a second tier holiday, more like your Arbor day, I
guess, but going back to that calender I was just talking
about, the celebration of Hannukah falls right
around Christmas time. So the dominant culture is Christianity, that filters into Jewish culture
and then we have presents and that delightful Adam Sandler song that we all know and love. So, what is Kosher? This is a huge, I’ve got
four slides, let’s do this. So, it’s basically the
dietary law set out in the old testament and then
developed over a couple of millennia by a bunch
of scholars and rabbis, so it’s about what you can and can’t eat, and so, basically it boils
down to three main categories all having to do with animals. One, has to be ritually butchered, two, you can’t mix milk and meat, and three you can’t
eat any unclean animal, no matter how it’s kill or prepared. So what does unclean animals mean? Well, a lot of people know
that pigs aren’t Kosher, but also did you know
that frogs aren’t Kosher? Shellfish, fish without
scales, birds of prey, scavengers, camels,
specifically, are not Kosher, and of course, anything
mixed with diary, any sort of meat mixed with diary, so I
didn’t have a cheeseburger til I was, like, 12. Subquestion, why bother doing that? And as Tevye so eloquently reminded us in Fiddler on the Roof, it’s about tradition. It’s about connecting
yourself to a heritage that stretches back years and
years and years and years, and it also introduces mindfulness. Now, at this point, you
might be thinking Rachel, you’re dropping a lot of hard J’s, is it OK for me to say Jew? People correct themselves,
oh I’m sorry, Jewish person, and let me tell you, I’m here,
you hear it right from me, it is A-OK for you to say the word Jew, but of course, you know, tone does matter. Did Jews do this? That’s OK. Jews, not OK, not OK. Where do you guys go when you die? Well, this is a tricky question
because Jewish doctrine actually focuses more on the here and now and the life that we’re living now. That being said, we do have,
like, a sort of a heaven and a hell if you go, some
place you go when you’ve made some bad decisions, let’s
say, but instead of this sort of the Christian concept
of eternity there, you spend about 12 months in
hell, and then you’re paroled to the good part of eternity,
unless you were really bad, and this is true, unless
you were really bad, you stay there and think about
what you did for the rest of your life, or rest of eternity. You’re good with money, right? I’m dealing with some real
stereotypical territory here, and I won’t comment on that, exactly, but I will say no Jews, or
anyone, is always anything, but what I will say is that
Jewish culture is really focused on education and excellence and academia. So, logically, the more you study… (audio cut out) Well, you should ask a Jew. I, and most other Jews, are
so proud of our heritage and our culture. I mean, if I weren’t why
would I have put that hideous picture up there
earlier in the presentation? Thank you. (clapping) – That was awesome, Rachel, thank you. The most I knew about Jewish
customs before that talk, I learned from renowned teen
drama television serious, The OC, so… Yeah, Christma-kuh,
that’s what it taught me. Alright, we just want to
thank all the speakers and volunteers, and also a
big thanks to our amazing sponsers, we couldn’t done
any of this without any of those people. So now, hang out, polish off
the rest of your Shirley, schmooze with the speakers
and sponsors, and if you need a ride home, remember Uber,
promo code ignitempls. Thank you, everybody, for coming. (clapping)

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