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Most Hilarious Martial Arts Techniques Ever

Most Hilarious Martial Arts Techniques Ever


Russians are some tough people These guys though might prove to be the exception when wing-chun goes to Russia here’s what vodka does to it While exhibitionists think of their bodies as art this video artfully teaches you how to use a man’s ego against himself [laughing] In this fight a capoeira fighter shows that he has some cool kicks that can sometimes backfire oh [laughing] [crowd laughing] Oh [crowd laughing] Ken Shamrock is one of the pioneers of mixed martial Arts and UFC In this later fight in his career his opponent has quite a move for him. Let’s watch And of course Shamrock wins What if you have one guy holding you from behind and another about to attack from the front? How would you deal with that? Step behind and on the other side and then stand up And this is going to use this guy against this guy Wait how did that just happen? Let’s watch it again when I stand up and hope you can see his body start to shift when I stand up quickly He’s going to go flying and this foot is gonna depending on how close this guy is is gonna come up and hit him right in the schnoogies here right in the schnoogies here. I’m not sold Army man I don’t think I would be able to make the guy’s foot go into the other guy’s schnoogies. [Oom-pah music] For those of you who disobeyed your Sunday school teacher or slept in Sunday school you do not want to mess with these nuns Just look at the power in that chop and check this out bam don’t want to be hit by her and Look at them all of the nuns in this convent going through all these kicks and punches Wow, and look at this they even do throws my God look at that judo throw ow right in the schnoogies if you’re an atheist Watch out Here’s a good tip you want to just slow-mo anything you want to make look badass [Oom-Pah music] Flawless just flawless let’s go to the east this definitely embodies the Samurais spirit [yelling] check this guy [yelling] Don’t know what this is All right screw that let’s go to the internal martial arts. Look at these guys honing their Chi or their Kai or whatever they’re honing. Oh wow they can even control this guy wow And whoa force field time! Oh My God he’s convulsing. Now the women try. Ooo ouch ouch ouch. It didn’t work on the ladies. Oh My God, I guess this internal martial art doesn’t work with the ladies This guy on the other hand his chi is able to- look at this he can whoa do these back bends Making her dance Forget ecstasy or LSD Wow He’s got some power right here. He okay. She’s jumping like a little bunny Hitting the wall. Oh he’s going through a door. He’s showing us through a door now. This is a oh Woah woah woah Wow, so his power is able to be transferred through a door. Look at this. She’s convulsing His powers he can’t even control his powers anymore. He’s so he’s so oh my God hope this lady doesn’t die what did you do to her you little chi Master and finally let’s um see what happens when you’ve combined Michael Jackson moves with Karate or whatever martial art this is [laughing] I guess these are moves for the bedroom. I assume I don’t know [yelling] [laughing] This looks like a standard martial-Arts promotional video, but then something funny happens in the background Let’s zoom in work at that pace for a while and then quickly dude learn to catch man come on ruining the shot there This cutie pie is teaching women how to defend against guys. Now the sexual tension is palpable You can literally palp it look at that. It’s almost like the beginning of a porno So this technique right here involves an eye poke. So now she does it Ow! Hey, hey, hey don’t actually poke him in the eye. You’re practicing come on. Here’s what to do if someone pulls your ponytail [yelling] [yelling] Man, if I ever just heard that yell in real life I’d probably cut off my own head [yelling] [yelling] This next one is the master of all fails Some sort of wing chun person teaching you how to defend against Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guys There’s a top comment that says it better than I do Quote not a single BJJ takedown was attempted that day Absolutely charging into someone and rolling over is not a takedown He’s doing his nunchucks inside which you know is just not a good idea, and he’s gonna wish that cap he’s wearing were a helmet This next guy is doing basketball dribbling moves with his nunchuck. You know he’s got some skill right there Ouch. If at first you don’t succeed try again [laughing] Told you! Don’t do it at home! Yes, his little daughter just called him out This next guys got two nunchucks wow look at it Looks like having two nunchucks didn’t even prepare you for the ultimate attack. Ooh! And let’s end with this oldie. This is probably one of the most original ones. Ow face plant right there. And he keeps trying he keeps trying! Ooooh! Don’t ever smirk unless you can really pull it off all right look at that smirk right there. You’re just asking to be face planted A plus for effort though he keeps going [crashing noise] My God are you ok? Oom-Pah music Why are these guys slapping the heck out of each other? Well it turns out This is actually the national sport of Bangladesh and Nepal this contact fighting originated in India and it’s popular throughout Southeast Asia and Iran I have no idea if these people from Philadelphia were inspired by South Asian Slap fighting But if they were they have a long way to go let’s get professional here Here’s a ninjutsu experts deadly technique [loud yelling continuous] So, what did we just see? Ladies and gentlemen you’re about to witness without doubt the most savage and terrifying self-defense form known to man According to you right, what if you’re trying to run away? But your attacker chases you and what if he or she runs faster than you do. What are you gonna? Do if he or she is about to catch up? Just when you hear that He’s right on your tail right about ready to reach out and grab all you’re gonna Do is just drop down in a fetal position like this now He’s not expecting this so when you drop down, and he’s still running He’s gonna fall over you and when he falls over you you’re in a control position He’s trying to figure out how to get his balance back Well becoming a turtle is now becoming fashionable in self-defense, and you know as a kid I actually did this one time I was playing a game of tag and I fell and I cut my legs and arm But the person trying to catch me fell over me and hurt himself, too So I guess as a kid I was a self-defense master [Oom-Pah music] This old-school self-defense tutorial teaches women the basics on how to defend themselves. It is filled with Hilariously bad acting and some epic techniques. Let’s take a look anticipate a potential problem Get up and walk away So that guy with this crazy mullet has been thwarted But what if he were more physical? give a hard Twisting pinch to the soft skin on the inside of the thigh. It may not look much But there are a lot of nerves in that area And it can really hurt what if you’re a student on a college campus and a guy in an ugly trench coat hits on you Now talking is one thing but touching is another and a satchel full of books makes a formidable weapon Her anger and indignation are used swiftly and positively While exhibitionists think of their bodies as art this video artfully teaches you how to use a man’s ego against himself [laughing] Let’s go back to the park bench and see what you should do if someone gropes you from behind Now a two-handed attack directly from behind it’s surprisingly easy because the attacker leaning over you is partly off-balance watch it again. And finally, it’s not a good self-defense video unless it has at least one technique on how to handle the rare naked choke. The first thing to do with this kind of arm lock is to turn your head to the side This relieves the pressure on your windpipe and lets you breathe then counter-Attack [Oom-Pah music]

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100 thoughts on “Most Hilarious Martial Arts Techniques Ever

  1. Thank you all for your hilarious comments! Glad you were entertained by this comedic critique 😉
    Here are some of the techniques that we commentated on:
    For the Fine Russian martial arts in the beginning: "Бой на бегу"- Вiomechanics of Bely Samoryad. https://youtu.be/GRosPMyotj4
    Women's self defense: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RheEsGxi6Ac
    Capoeira slips (Ken Tran vs Marcus Aurelio): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBqOxbepQF0
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVoF5VdLH4U
    Dark Souls roll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDOndQqtzqk
    Chicken wing defense: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unaGxGRMcJo
    Nun Fu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhAran1hQEk
    Japanese ninja parody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42XG15vUAn0
    Yellow bamboo fail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TVR67ApSXY
    Black chi master: https://youtu.be/i8HVsbZ-Ey0
    For the African dance fighting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msbDSmO10N0
    Guy who couldn't catch the keys: https://youtu.be/CryZ1uFPA-0
    Lady with palpable tension: http://escapeandsurvive.com/home.html
    Accidental eye poke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_4BXy8tLZc
    Defend your pony tail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o-nplopP1E
    Wing Chun responds to BJJ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c8SAHJ7C6U
    First nunchuck fail:
    Basketball dribbling nunchuck fail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5aEBJOo-Is
    Guy called out by daughter during nunchuck fail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljvwt9Zp2mc
    Guy kicked in balls despite nunchucks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHFH0mDMync
    Afro-Ninja: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEtIoGQxqQs
    Kabaddi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szrof4WJsKw
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5kF5qmv0q4
    Philly street slap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijRh9CG5pTo
    The best forbidden technique ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Xw5wjwVkFc
    Running away defense turtle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeD_SeMBuWo

    I will add to these as I find more! To see more hilarious videos critiquing funny techniques, please go here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtdbPxlsaM_mrpN75fQtCa3lUO5DM4Py5

  2. 7:28 it is not Bangladeshi. subtitle says Punjab. also there is something written in Urdu. probably a Pakistan sport of some sort. Good video tho.

  3. 8:45 this actually does work believe it or not, though you'd want more control vs a fetal position. The guy who taught me Judo did something similar to a man who was aimlessly running at punching people at time square during the new years ball drop. Once the guy ran at him, he quickly dropped causing the attacker to flip and the angry crowd began to beat his ass for having punched them. It is also effective in Judo competitions to grab by the collar amd twist and drop at the same time causing the opponent to flip over.

  4. WTF!!! Study before you talk too much. It's not a National sport Of Nepal. 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩 Before this I was injoying your video. You become same like thoes shit Masters.

  5. 3:03 – This is a very ancient and powerful martial arts technique. Its called the "fart fan" technique. You will never be able to gas this man out in battle.

  6. “When Wing Chun goes to Russia, here’s what vodka does to it.” Hilarious quote. That was epic bro. Hilarious 😂

  7. I'm going to vag kick you LOL I'm 32 now I've been a martial artist since I was 8 years old find a real school stop listening to dumbasses and think you're going to get there in a year LOL nobody gets a black belt in a year not if it's real. Looks like all these people got it the same day total inept incompetence, noobs LOL you're not awake until you actually get punched in the face.

  8. West Philadelphia slapped then hazed on the internet instead of gym is where I spent most of my days snaking out acting like a fool when a couple of fighters who wanted to prove I didn't know what I was doing in my neighborhood got my ass kicked one time and my mom laughed her ass calling my auntie and uncle in bel air saying your nephew is a dipshit got kicked into the air.

  9. The clip starting at 2:50 (Japanese tv show) is supposed to be a comedy bit. The black master Chi at 3:34 is actually performing an exorcism. 😂 😂 😂

  10. Wait, the army dude's techniques are actually good though. Maybe not the whole, "get the guy to kick his buddy," part, but we were taught to shift laterally if your arms are being held behind your back. You're just trying to take them off balance and fall to the ground essentially. The restrainer will instinctively let go of the hold to catch themselves or risk landing on their head.
    Also, there's a similar defense that I wouldn't recommend anyone try unless you absolutely have no choice, but if you're being held hostage via knife to your throat or gun to your head, attacker behind you, firmly grasp the weapon, and "get long" my instructor would call it. Basically you just bend over and shove your ass into their pelvis, while outstretching your arms (that are holding the attacker's weapon), extending the weapon beyond their reach.
    Anyways, good vid, I know the intent is to highlight the humor, just wanted to point out those couple are actually effective 🙂

  11. I am so fucking disgusted with these so-called 'Martial Arts Masters' teaching people how to get killed by using fucking shitty bullshit techniques… I have Been doing WingChun for 5 years and it has saved my life a few times with people and people yielding weapons…. And when I see these Video's it destroys the morale of the Martial Arts circle and turns it into a fucking Laughing stock.. makes me wanna travel to these places one by one and fuck shit up.. not impressed man!!

  12. holy fuck..lol…the chi energy…i about shit my pepsi all over the monitor when i seen the guys do a haduken and the guy goes down, but the women gtets fkn trampled lol…holy shit lol.

  13. Dude. It is absolutely no problem to make some dude's foot go into another guy's shnoogies. I've done this technique countless times.

  14. The very last one with the Rear naked choke where she says "Turn your head, to relieve pressure from the wind pipe, so you can breath". If I put somebody in that choke they can breath all they want, but the brain isn't going to get the blood from those breaths lol.

  15. Also stay well away from bujinkan as well. They are the laughing stock of the whole martial arts world like you would never imagine. No kidding at all.

    Shouldnt even be called a martial art. All those ridiculous compliance moves and pitifully choreographed techniques. Not even worthy of watered down tai chi in a hostile situation I swear. Bloody fake martial arts and money laundering fools.

  16. OW! right in the shnoogies… if you're an atheist, watch out… BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! MY DUDE, YOU'RE KILLING ME DEADER THAN THESE SWEET NINJA MOVES!

  17. Legit real simple self defense:
    Go for the eyes, throat, groin and anus.

    You can use Mortal Combat moves too. Kick to the kneecap or hit on the elbow.
    Just be creative… run away like the Road Runner…. miiip miiiiip

  18. I was doing fine until the ninjitsu deadly techniques… and then I died of laughter. now I need to use kleenexjitsu to clean the coffee sputter off the monitor. damn those are some fine chops. thank you for this compilation! 😀

  19. Actually the black guy who busted his ass with the nunchuk was a martial art movie star i believe he was in afro ninja

  20. 1:15 is actually pretty good instincts to attack with the heel using his momentum after accidentally giving up his position with that missed kick. If he woulda landed that on the chin it would be in a different compilation.

  21. Tried that technique at 10:48 on the rear naked choke in my first jiu jitsu class. Failed miserably, was choked unconscious, and never went back.

  22. The one with the nuns was actually real karare and judo techniques. But this dude cracked me up with the snoogies. Keep making videos ur funny af.

  23. 8:18 Actually seems counter intuitive, but could work if you time it just right. It would take perfect timing, alot of force put into the ground to stop yourself on the dime(bruised hands), but it could be the perfect escape tactic. As long as its one person, thats actually kinda genius.

  24. Turning ur head in a rear naked choke will just lead you to geting knocked out bc it will clog ur arterys and get u knocked out sry for bad spelling

  25. 3:13 I know this move, it is called The Frustrated Mongoloid
    9:21 What to do if you are approached by one of the Ramones.

    Deadly Nun-ja Techniques presented here:

    2:16 The Right Hand of the Father
    2:20 The Holy Quaternity
    2:26 Palm Sunday Striking
    2:29 The Exodus
    2:33 Lord Have Mercy Throw into a Strike to the Holy Tabernackers
    2:36 Double Hail Mary Throw-sary followed by an Our Father Flip.

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