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Pikmin – EP 16: Coitus w/ Aunt May

Pikmin – EP 16: Coitus w/ Aunt May

Matt: What up? It’s yo boys, uh, playing some more Pikmin. Matt: And now, if you look at the bottom of the screen you may notice Matt: Uh
Ryan: What’s going on? Ryan: Matt, what did you do? What did you do, Matt? Ryan: What the fuck?
Matt: Yeah Ryan: Did you play an extra day?
Matt: I did. Matt: Uh, in between recordings I went back to this place because Matt: people in the comments told me that there are just, like, an abundance of treasures Matt: and pellets and the pearls from the clams give you 50 each Matt: So I went back and I busted my ass for a day and I have made our armies much bigger. Matt: So getting to the end of this game will be a lot easier. Ryan: Oh boy.
Matt: Here we are at the Distant Spring. Ryan: Boy is it distant. Ryan: Man, does my back hurt. Matt: Your back has been hurting all week Ryan, so why don’t you tell them about that. Ryan: Uh, I have no idea. I think I just have chronic back pain. Ryan: But I’ve been working to, uh, Arin’s been helping me, actually Ryan: trying to help me realign my back and help my posture. Matt: He’s been touching you good.
Ryan: Oh yeah. Matt: Every time I look over…you’re laying on the floor and Arin’s Matt: got his little hands-got his meaty little paws all over you. Ryan: My dirty little feet.
Matt: *laughs* Matt: What if I just looked over and he’s like, massaging your feet and stuff Matt: And you…”its helping with my back!” Just rubbing your feet and kissing your toes and stuff Ryan: He’s just like, through my gym shorts, digging his nose into my asshole Ryan: *inhales deeply* Ohhh… Ryan: That’s a straight back.That’s the straightest back I- *inhales deeply again* Ryan: Ohh, goddamn, that’s so fucking straight.
Matt: Your back is gonna feel good after this. Ryan: Kill ’em!
Matt: Ok, yeah, so now that I have a shitton of-fuck! Matt: Ok, off…ok.
Ryan: Off to a shitty start, Matt. Matt: Its ok, well, I have a lot of Pikmin. Its just the view is really strange-
Ryan: He’s gonna throw ’em! Matt: No he’s not. Matt: This guy fucking sucks.
Ryan: Where is he… Ryan: What is he…?
Matt: Here if I just-there we go! Matt: God yeah!
Ryan: Take it!
Matt: Beat his ass! Beat his ass! Ryan: Oh you mother fucker.
Matt: He’s getting fucking gang-banged right there. Matt: There we go.
Ryan: Ohh, dude. Matt: Alright.
Ryan: He deserved it.
Matt: You don’t fuck with the Grape Street Crips. Ryan: Where are you go-do you have to break down this wall? Matt: No. I just wanna kill these-fuck YOU!
Ryan: Where’d he come from? Matt: Where’d he go? Cotton eye Joe!
Ryan: Uh-oh Matt! Matt: Its ok, its ok, see? Just gotta…
Ryan: Are they gonna hold him down? Matt: That’s what I’m tryin’.
Ryan: *worried inhale* Matt: Its ok if I-I have so many, dude. I have over 100 blue Pikmin. Matt: So, as long as I can get-if I can get…two parts today. Cuz I took an extra day. Matt: If I can get like, two parts today we should be good. Ryan: He’s squashing a shitton of em.
Matt: Yeah, he took out a good handful. Matt: Fuckin’ kill em guys!
Ryan: I think he’s gonna have killed more than 20 by the end of this. Matt: Yeah, for sure. Matt: I just gotta…I gotta wait.
Ryan: As long as you can get ’em back with those little pellets and that body. Matt: Here we go. Just gotta throw now. Get em boys. Get him! Matt: Kick his ass!
Ryan: You don’t need any red Pikmin for this boss fight? Matt: Uhhhhh, boss fight? Oh. Oh behind this wall?
Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: Oh dude! Take him!
Matt: I dunno. Ryan: Aww, drag him down! Ryan: Have you seen what he’s wearing? Matt: He deserves this! Matt: He’s asking for it! Matt: Because blue guys are the most important in this place, I’m gonna get them to take all of this stuff. Ryan: Ooh, look at that part. Right over there. Matt: Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna go get next.
Ryan: You just break down the wall and boom you got it? Matt: Basically what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna have these guys take the part back Matt: and then I’m gonna have all my blue guys break down that wall and we’ll get that part. Matt: Hopefully I can get that back by noon. Matt: Cuz Ryan…I have been goofing a lot when it comes to this game. Ryan: You’ve been goofin and gaffin. Matt: I’ve been goofin, gaffin, spoofin, laughin…having a little bit of a problem. Matt: But now that I have all these Pikmin Matt: I wanna show that I can do it. Matt: I wanna prove this. Not just to my viewers. Matt: But to myself and to my father. Matt: You know what else I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get these guys to take some of these guys Matt: But I’m gonna leave all this stuff and I’m not gonna make them take it up yet. Matt: I’m gonna leave it at the base camp. Ryan: Are you sure? Cuz if you wait until the last minute you’re not gonna get all the shit Ryan: Cuz its gonna plant the Pikmin then. Matt: Well, I still get them the next day. Ryan: Oh yeah, true. Matt: Basically, I’m gonna have all these guys take this stuff Matt: leave it there, then at the end of the day I’m gonna divvy it up to give to different Pikmin colors. Matt: Depending on what needs it most.
Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: So are you sure you’re gonna be able to get two parts today? Matt: Um, if not today then definitely tomorrow.
Ryan: Ok. Matt: Or maybe…maybe I’m just blowing smoke outta my ass. Ryan: You could very well be blowing smoke out of that tight white boy ass you have. Matt: It is quite-have you seen my butthole? Matt: You’ve seen my butthole several times.
Ryan: Yeah. I had to take a picture of it for the Shovel Knight episode. Matt: That’s right
Ryan: And you always say that I don’t blur it enough. Matt: Yeah, I don’t think you did. Ryan: Cuz you can see where your butthole is in that. Matt: Well, here’s the thing: its not just a matter of Matt: how much you blurred it…
Ryan: Mhm. Ryan: Well it would be a different situation if it was a female blurred Ryan: To that…unfortunate…not as censored to it should be extent. Matt: Absolutely.
Ryan: But you’re a male! Ryan: Penises are funny! Matt: Penises are absolutely hilarious. Matt: But, see-fuck you!
Ryan: Just look at em and you’ll laugh. Or maybe that’s just my experience with women. Matt: *laughs* Matt: Fuckin just go ahead and break this wall down. Just ignore the stupid- Matt: FUCK! You fucking fly piece of shit. Ryan: Can we name him? Matt: Yeah…uh…fuckin’…dick. His name is dick. Matt: Good name, right?
Ryan: Strongman? Matt: Dick Strongm- *laughs* Matt: Dick-Dick Fly-
Ryan: Fuck. Yeah. Matt: Its a good one right?
Ryan: Good. Wonderful. Matt: very funny let’s player.
Ryan: Yyyyeah! Matt: *funny let’s player voice* I’m a funny let’s player! I say lots of swear words! Ryan: how long does it take them to break the fucking wall? Matt: Ok, the fly is gone, I can break the wall now. He flew back to his base to fuck his gay husband. Ryan: How many people are working on this wall?
Matt: FUCK! Ryan: What are you doing?!
Matt: I’m trying to zoom out. I forget its not minus. Ryan: That was enough-I think that fills the yelling quota for this let’s play.
Matt: Yeah. Matt: I’m gonna go back, I’mma get some red guys, and I’mma let them start breaking down the other wall. Matt: While I’m waiting.
Ryan: Yeah, won’t the red guys be better cuz they can peck at the wall with their stupid noses? Matt: No, cuz this wall, I have to go through water to get to it. Matt: That’s why I had to take the blue guys. Matt: I actually have an old backpack in Charleston, which I should bring next time I come to LA. Matt: because I have a bunch of Pikmin patches that I bought at Gamestop. Matt: Cuz on the day Pikmin released, they were giving away, like Matt: All these different patches, and…
Ryan: YES! Matt: But I ironed them to my backpack strap Matt: I’m two Pikmin short to being able to carry this thing. Ryan: Oh no!
Matt: So I gotta walk all the way back. *moist mouth sounds* Matt: Seriously guys, we have said this before Matt But if anyone out there knows how to mod games Matt: Please just get compilations of our moist mouth sounds Matt: and mod games so every sound in the game is just *moist mouth sounds* Matt: We’ll play it if you do that!
Ryan: I’d play Left 4 Dead if they did that. Ryan: Imagine Left 4 Dead 2 with like *moist mouth sounds* Ryan: Cuz Left 4 Dead is one of my favorite games. Matt: I never actually played Left 4 Dead.
Ryan: Well, the original Left 4 Dead, moreso than 2 Ryan: Cuz it just feels like one of those old zombie arcade shooters to me?
Matt: before they got really cheap, kind of? Ryan: Cuz its just, you’re with four people, the maps aren’t that difficult, its nothing like, too special Ryan: It just matters cuz you have the different weapons and you have the different enemy types Ryan: and the special…uh, infected is what I mean by that. Matt: Guys…
Ryan: What are they doing? Ryan: They’re beeping. Matt: Throw a few right here. Matt: There you go. Just get out of the wate-no!
Ryan: Oh. They’re drowning. Matt: C’mon guys. And thi-this fucker’s back! Ryan: And he drowned. Ryan: See, there’s his soul.
Matt: I don’t care if a few red ones die. Matt: There’s just-get him, I don’t care, just get him out of the way. Ryan: Just hold him down and remember, he deserves it. Ryan: he’s wearing that shell again. Matt: He’s wearing that very loose fitting shell.
Ryan: *laughs* Matt: Ok, here we go, here we go, here we go. Ryan: Ohh, dude, oh he’s carrying them to the fire?!
Matt: Oh shit! Matt: Dude, c’mon!
Ryan: Ohh, but he didn’t start the fire! Matt: I-Its been always burning since the world’s been turning.
Ryan: *laughs* Ryan: There you go. Thanks for the…catching that one. Ryan: I threw it up in the air and… Ryan: You may have fumbled around a bit, but
Matt: Yeah, I got-STOP! IDIOT! Matt: I hate him so much!
Ryan: How many…ugh, he’s just mad cuz you held down his other friend. Matt: Its frustrating cuz-uh, no, that’s the same guy. Ryan: What?! I thought you killed him!
Matt: I haven’t killed him yet. Matt: I killed one of them. Matt: But here’s the annoying thing: he doesn’t even kill them. He picks them up and throws them somewhere else. Ryan: he gives them to that guy. Matt: There we go, finally these guys got it out of the water. Ryan: So they’re carrying that ship part back. Matt: Why did they-
Ryan: Will-will that…? Ryan: That’ll return by the end of the day, I’m sure.
Matt: I am praying to God. Ryan: Wait, didn’t that part come from over there?
Matt: Yeah, they must’ve carried it around. Matt: Guys, c’mon, get out of the water.
Ryan: You fucking idiots! Matt: Guys, what are you doing?
Ryan: Uh oh, hurry up. Matt: Alright, I gotta go back. Cuz once the countdown starts… Matt: If I don’t have all my Pikmin…
Ryan: Ohh, those pellets are gonna disappear, dude… Matt: Oh well. Its just some pellets. Ryan: Just some pellets?
Matt: I have gotten many a pellet before. Matt: Can they make it back to the ship in time?
Ryan: (spoilers) No. Matt: You sure about that?
Ryan: (spoilers) yes. Matt: Ok guys, just take some of this shit. Matt: Let it get sucked up. Just hurry up, I don’t care. Ryan: Do you have all of them selected?
Matt: Oh…they’re so close! So tomorrow… Ryan: That part’s gonna be right there. Waiting for ya.
Matt: Uh huh. Matt: Ok. Ok. Alright, I got a lot of people. Ryan: So tomorrow we can get, like, two parts? Matt: Yeah.
Ryan: And tomorrow’s day 26, jesus christ Matt: Yeah, we didn’t…you know, we got a part today, but we didn’t get it back to the ship. Ryan: …yeah.
Matt: We are…slipping behind. Ryan: Everything’s slipping… Ryan: Awaaaaaay, so-
Matt: I’m still confident though. Ryan: Go ahead, spread the word, say it was horrible 🎶 Ryan: What song is that?
Matt: Eh. Matt: Is that “We Didn’t Start the Fire”?
Ryan: No. Matt: Harry Truman…what are the lyrics? Matt: I used to know them really well…
Ryan: I only know the jibjab version. Ryan: Cuz its like a parody of it. Cuz its kinda like how they would end the… Ryan: They would end the year by summarizing the big political things or whatever happened Ryan: that year or whatever
Matt: That’s the whole thing of that song. Ryan:Well yeah, I know, but jibjab did their own version of it.
Matt: Jibjab. Matt: Classic. Forgot about that website.
Ryan: JIBJAB. Ryan: yeah. We mentioned it recently.
Matt: We did! Matt: There was a thing on askreddit: “what would the lyrics be to the song if it were all the way up to 2015?” Matt: And then somebody deisigned lyrics for the rest of the song.
Ryan: Really? Matt: For all the political things. And it was like, really well made too. Matt: And then I think someone did a cover of it and it was incredible. Matt: Alright, let’s
Ryan: Doo doo de doo doo-can you hold him down? Matt: Alright the day has-FUCK YOU I need one more
Ryan: Stop! Matt: Get on there! Just get on there! Ryan: I’m breaking my yelling quota for this asshole! Matt: God you fucking retard, c’mon! There we go. Matt: So, beginning of the day and these guys are getting a part. Matt: Now I gotta go back with a lot of red Pikmin…
Ryan: To fight that bossman? Matt: I’mma go fight that fucking boss. And I swear if our friend is over there Ryan: You’re gonna kick his ass. You’re gonna hold him down and set him straight. Ryan: Not trying to assume his sexual orientation.
Matt: No. Matt: Nonono, not that sort of…straight. Matt: Alright, I’m setting out to take on the Spider Man. I just need…
Ryan: Does whatever a spider can 🎶 Matt: Stop it! Ryan!
Ryan: Spins a web 🎶 Ryan: Fucks his aunt. 🎶 Matt: is that what he…did he do that? Ryan: I dunno. You’ll have to read to find out.
Matt: What if that was just Matt: Like that was canon in the comics
Ryan: Spoiler alert. Ryan: *deeper voice* yeah, he fucks his aunt may Ryan: *high pitched voice* Ohhh Aunt May, fuck me! Ryan: Fuck me Aunt May! Matt: God, that would’ve been a good way to-
Ryan: *high pitched voice* Shoot your web right into my fucking twat! Matt: Wait, I don’t get what…wait, she’s shooting HER web? Matt: into his twat?
Ryan: No! Ryan: She’s telling him to shoot his web into her twat!
Matt No, but you were saying Matt: “Fuck me, Aunt May”. Matt: That would be coming from Spiderman.
Ryan: That was the first voice Ryan: And then there was a second voice.
Matt: They were the same voice. Ryan: They’re family, Matt! They sound alike! Matt: I don’t sound like my mom.
Ryan: Uhh, I dunno. Ryan: When she’s being fucked-
Matt: Ryan! Ryan: She develops this deep, sarcastic, nasally voice. Matt: That’s…that’s actually very spot on.
Ryan: *laughs* Matt: Like, no one has ever described my voice as nasally, but I’ve always thought it was.
Ryan:There’s nothing bad about it. Ryan: It just means its got more of a…
Matt: Its just…I dunno Matt: I’ve always hated the fact that-
Ryan: Not like you’ve got a cold, its just like Matt: I’ve got a big ol’ Jewish honker. I’m not Jewish.
Ryan: *laughs* Matt: Shit, there’s three big ones. Matt: I gotta attack them anyway since I gotta go through here.
Ryan: Just go for it. Attack them in the butt. Matt: Fucking get his ass, get his ass, get his ass, get his ass.
Ryan: Get him-holy shit! Ryan: We needed all these Pikmin!
Matt: Dude, with a big army, we can take down these guys in like two hits! Ryan: That’s probably why people wre so pissed. Cuz we were wasting so much time. Matt: I know! And we’re losing so many Pikmin fighting like that. Ryan: Wait a sec, I just wanted to say that I’m not wasting time. I wanted to raise my hands and say that I’m not at fault for any of this Matt: Like that kid in the class that’s like Matt: That one kid in the class that’s like “I wasn’t doing that!” Ryan: “I thought we had homework!”
Matt: ugh, I hate that kid! Ryan: Fuck him! Or her. I’m sorry, there’s equality in being an asshole. Matt: But you know that there’s a lot of people who are watching this, or listening to this Matt: And you know damn well you’re the kid that raises his hand and goes Matt: “Wha-are you gonna check the homework?” Matt: You know that there’s a lot of those that-
Ryan: The rule is: you don’t turn it in unless the teacher demands it. Matt: Exactly.
Ryan: Or if you like, if they have a turn-in slot. Cuz some teachers have a turn-in thing. Matt: “put your papers here!”
Ryan: So that they have to…you know. Matt: They know who didn’t turn it in at that point.
Ryan: Yeah. Matt: But its like…here’s the thing: Matt: if you did your homework like a good little boy or gilr, you don’t have to ruin it for the rest of people who didn’t. Matt: yeah, they’re supposed to do it. But people will hate you. And you’ll be socially ostra… Matt: …cized. Is that a word? Ostracized?
Ryan: yeah, ostracized. Matt: Yeah…sorry, I wanted to say ostraphy (?)
Ryan: You’re gonna…an example is gonna be made outta you. Matt: Yeah…I gotta-
Ryan: You’ll see its true-ue-ue. Matt: An ape like me.
Ryan: *laughs* Matt: We gotta have a little talk with him to open up first. Ryan: I think you gotta hit him a little bit?
Matt: I think I gotta throw someone in front of him first Ryan: Nope. He just died.
Matt: he’s supposed to open up though. Matt: Dude, what’re you doing? Matt: Do I throw Pikmin on him? Matt: They’re making like little…chink sounds. Matt: Oh, he killed some though. Matt: Dude, what do I do?
Ryan: I dunno.
Matt: I’m pausing it! Ryan: Hurry up, Matt! Look it up! Ryan: Get your phone out.
Matt: I don’t have my phone!
Ryan: I don’t have mine either! Matt: Oh no, its in the…crack of the couch. Ryan: *burps loudly* Matt: Alright, I “remember” how, I gotta clog his little rock hole. Matt: Alright.
Ryan: How do you do that? Matt: Gotta get outta the way..and do that… Matt: And then he opens this up and I gotta ohhhhhhhhh Matt: Get em boys! Get em gooooood!
Ryan: *achieves orgasm* Matt: There ya go. That’s good shit. When he closes it wings does it kill…? No, it doesn’t. Good. Get his blowhole boys! Matt: oh shit.
Ryan: Fuck. Matt: Its ok. They’re not really going where I’m throwing em but…that’s fine. Matt: Alright, and he’s gonna open…he’s gonna open his little back. Matt: Throw all my Pikmin on him. Matt: Ooh. Get em. Yeah!
Ryan: Ooh! Ryan: Think you can get him down to half health-oh damn! Holy shit! Ryan: You can kill him next time.
Matt: Yeah, definitely.
Ryan: And do you think you have enough to Ryan: I’d go-I’d have them go and back and get some to try and carry the part back and then come back and carry his body. Ryan: Or, do bosses turn into pellets, or do they drop a body?
Matt: Uh, it depends. Some do and some don’t. Matt: I’m praying-I’m praying this one actually has a-
Ryan: You’re praying mantis? HA! Matt: Its cuz I’m skinny, isn’t it? Ryan: No.
Matt: Its cuz I’m skinny and have green skin, right? Ryan: What? Matt: There we go! We discovered the…bow… Matt: The (slurs) b-bowspirit. Matt: Why do bugs turn on their back when they die? Matt: Like cockroaches? They can’t die without flipping around on their back. Ryan: Is that true? Cuz I can step on one and I assure you that it won’t flip on its back. Matt: Oh, well that’s different cuz you, like, crushed it. Matt: but if a roach dies of natural causes…30 Pikmin, Jesus Christ… Matt: Oh goddammit, we gotta build a bridge.
Ryan: Goddammit, well hurry up! Hurry up! Matt: Well, I have a lot of Pikmin so it should go really fast. Matt: Ryan said the f word! The bad one with the gs in it! (faggot) Ryan: No. NO! Matt: Alright boys, bring it back. Can we add a few guys to make this go faster? Matt: You boys know what you’re doing. There you go! Matt: yeah! 45 out of 30! Ryan: Oh no!
Matt: Aww, he can’t do shit. He can’t do shit! Ryan: Its Terry Bigalow, homemade gigolo. Matt: Wasn’t it Bruce…?
Ryan: I dunno, shut up. Matt: What was the movie…with Dan Shneider? Ryan: Not Dan Schneider.
Matt: Rob Shneider! Shit! Ryan: You’re thinking of Daddy Day Care *laughs*
Matt: *laughs* Matt: Alright, here we go boys! Getting some shit! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO Matt: Alright, here we go.
Ryan: Oh my gooood!
Matt: I like how the sky changes Matt: When its…sunset, yeah.
Ryan: It looks piss mustard. Matt: Piss mustard? Is that a flavor of mustard? Matt: I wanna know that this is! …bowspirit, face of the dolphin… Matt: ok, ok
Ryan: So now just build Pikmin up? Ryan: You got two parts today. Wait, how many parts do you need? Ryan: Alright, hold on, I think I can check…we have 24 out of 30 Ryan: We need three more parts. Matt: yeah. We do need three more parts. Ryan: I just hope that all the parts we get are necessary parts Matt: Gonna go ahead and…eh, I’ll leave these guys in the ground, let them grow a little longer Matt: Uh, I should kill this dude. Get a few…get a few…
Ryan: Are we gonna be able to Ryan: …take off, Matt? Ryan: Matt?
Matt: I, well, I-I’m like 80% sure we’ll be able to take off. Matt: But then there’s that small 20% chunk that’s like…
Ryan: If we go through the game and we don’t beat it… Ryan: You realize this series is gonna be very disappointing for people Ryan: To spend hours and hours watching…
Matt: Eh, its just an ending. Matt: I mean, yeah, its not the GOOD ending, but its still…y’know… Matt: Most people that play Pikmin-
Ryan: Let’s not get too comfortable with the fact that we might not take off. Matt: Well here’s what I’m saying.
Ryan: No, I dont want to get into this Matt: We’re giving a different ending to the game! We’re giving an alternative-
Ryan: *laughing* No! Ryan: “Different alternative”. Ryan: We’re losers!
Matt: Ryan, if Ryan: You’ve never seen let’s players lose like this before!
Matt: That’s…that’s true, actually. Matt: Cuz most let’s play channels play to be good at the game. Ryan: We just play to fuck around and ahve a good time. Matt: Yeah, cuz that’s what its fucking about, y’know? Matt: We’re not gonna fake commentary just to be good at the game. Matt: We want Superdemega-Superdemega? Matt: We want SuperDeMega to be like…having fun. Matt: Playing dumb, stupid, shitty games that we like. Matt: Ok, Ryan, here’s what I want you to do: I am really dedicated to wanting to take off. Matt: So if we don’t take off, I want you to Matt: Set…something has to happen.
Ryan: Something has to happen to you. Matt: You wanna let the people in the comments decide?
Ryan: We’ll do a twitter poll. Ryan: What happens to Matt if he doesn’t take off? Ryan: We’ll give you a few options Matt: Alright guys, so right now, as this video comes out, there should be a poll on twitter Matt: On what should happen if we don’t take off. So go and vote on that. Matt: And uh…
Ryan: We’re gonna make these punishments ACTUAL punishments.
Matt: yeah. Matt: They’re not gonna be baby shit. Ryan: Your whole thing about video making, which I’ve started to adopt Matt: Good. That’s good, I like that.
Ryan: …is…how would you…you explain it. Matt: Basically. You know, I’ll do shit for a video because my ideology is, like, a few minutes of pain lasts a lifetime in a video. Matt: And people will think its funny, and they’ll enjoy it, and I can look back at it and go “holy shit, remember when I did that? That sucked!” Ryan: My only thing is I can’t keep a straight face if I tried to fuck with people like you can. Ryan: That’s like, with the scientology thing, or just with any of the past Kids With Problems sketches you’ve done. Matt: Oh, when I talk to people in public?
Ryan: yeah. Matt: I like doing that shit, cuz I like making people feel awkward.
Ryan: I love that style. Ryan: I’ve always wanted to make a Borat type of story
Matt: Dude, I’d love to make a Borat style movie! Matt: Why don’t we do that? We have the resources!
Ryan: Well…
Matt: We just don’t have the free time. Matt: We’re gonna have more free time
Ryan: Eventually! We’re very fucking busy. Matt: We’re incredibly busy guys. Ryan: I haven’t been throwing up in my mouth as much.
Matt: I got these incredible mint chewable tums. Matt: They got this little gummy-not gummies, but its like taffy. Matt: And they’re doing wonders for me.
Ryan: Reminds me of Anne’s pussy. Matt: Ryan! How-how does mint taffy-
Ryan: Cuz giiiiirl she SHAKE THAT LAFFY TAFFY.
*both laugh* Matt: The look on your face when I looked over. Matt: I will never forget that cuz you had this ridiculous look on your face when you said it. Matt: Anyways, no matter how many of their compatriots fall in battle, the Pikmin fight on. Matt: Would this have been a peaceful…oh God, that’s actually really fucking sad. Ryan: What?
Matt: Would this have been a peaceful planet had I never come? Matt: Yeah, so this is starting to heat up and these next few episodes are gonna be exciting Matt: Cause we don’t know whether we are actually gonna beat the game or not. Matt: It’s kinda that 50/50 thing. So wish us luck and tune in for the next episode and Ryan, would you play us out? Ryan: Nope.

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100 thoughts on “Pikmin – EP 16: Coitus w/ Aunt May

  1. Where's the poll? I can't think of a very good punishment but whatever it is if possible I think Ryan should get to administer it for suffering through Matt's bad playing with us

  2. As punishment if you fail to lift off, you should wear a yellow pikmin suit. The suit will have a big floppy flower on top. While wearing it you shall walk around LA doing you're "I'm gonna Pre" voice while Ryan films it.

  3. Matt dresses up as a woman and goes out in public and I mean puts a lot of effort into looking like a woman. Is that too much?

  4. I-Its been Its uh been always bburning since the world's been turning?

    Panicked Daddy Matt is adorable, We Didn't Start The Fire cover when?

  5. in like 4th grade our library made us listen to "we didnt start the fire" and i was obsessed with the song and listened to it like daily

  6. Matt -"Ryan, would you play us out?"
    Ryan – "Nope"
    Me – "Didn't think so"
    Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado starts playing

  7. it might be because i'm not a native english-speaker, but i don't understand why you set a limit at the n and f words like people know you don't mean it in an offensive way so why the fuck not or is it just a double-layered metalinguistic joke

  8. There was a girl like that in my class. Our senior year she was voted Class Brownie and she actually had her mom call the school to get her removed from being Class Brownie. She wanted to be Most Likely to Succeed or Class Einstein, which is exactly why she was voted Class Brownie xD

  9. Did Ryan stop seeing his masseur named Pete? Did he get in trouble for inviting himself to his wedding? Is that why his back hurts?

  10. Can't wait til they find out that it's not a matter of just getting 25/30 parts to beat the game, but 25 specific parts are needed lol and they've already collected 3-4 of the unnecessary parts

  11. So we finished most of our notes for pathology and the teacher wanted us to see how fast cancer cells produce (I don't think that's the right wording) compared to regular cells. The whole video was silent until the cells started splitting. It literally sounding like the wet moist mouth noises you guys make, and even though everyone was laughing, I was laughing too hard at that.

  12. I don't know about you guys but in my school, if you didn't do your homework that's your own fault. No one really makes a big deal about the kid who remind the teacher, besides, it only a small percent of your grade so oh well

  13. I actually have heard that rubbing feet can help your back. I may be misremembering that and I may have been misinformed but whatever.

  14. When he said "what up" this is what he sound like ( if you haven't seen the vine you want understand. But just look up the vine)

    "What up, it's yo boy… Skinny penis"

  15. I've loved this series of Matt failing to see where he is actually throwing the Pikmin, and assuming it's their fault

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