– Possession. – Ah, okay, there’s a box which I think is at the side of your desk. Can you see it?
– Here? Yeah, got it. – Would you read the card first and then bring out the possession?
– Yeah. – These are my favourite boxer shorts. Despite the fact they’ve seen better days, we have such a strong bond, I still wear them. – Alright! You’re my kind of guy!
– Okay, now let’s have a look at this possession. Let’s see. – Mel: Oh, hello! LAUGHTER – Sorry, you’ve got to show the back bit. That’s… that’s vile. LAUGHTER – What’s that?! – No no no no!
– And that’s the back bit. That is the back bit. – Do you still wear those, Josh? As pants? Or are they- – Yeah! I don’t wear them as a hat! LAUGHTER – Josh, how many pants do you have? How many pairs roughly, would you say? – 10 to 12?
– So they get used, what, once a fortnight?
-You’ve done the maths! LAUGHTER – What, two days where you don’t wear pants? LAUGHTER – Is tonight one of those days? LAUGHTER – I don’t know if you wear boxers. I think you might be a… um…
– Briefs guy. – Briefs! Is that what they’re called?
– Oh, that is… that is… – You’re young, you’re quite trendy, the hairs forwards, which to me says that you’re quite trendy. I… isn’t that… – Don’t listen to her, Matt. LAUGHTER – Josh, if I was your girlfriend, I would want to dust with those. I wouldn’t want to see them on you. – Can I ask you something? How long have you had them for?
– Um… I would have probably got them when I was 18, so about twelve years. – Explain the bond you have with these pants. Why… what have you been through with them?
– It’s nothing personal. They haven’t got any specific memory, but I just don’t like wastage really, and they’re still perfectly useable. – No, they’re not. LAUGHTER – The frightening thing is, if they’re not Josh’s pants, whose pants are they? – Well, Josh, would you help us out here by perhaps just slipping into them so we can get an idea of the fit?
– Yeah. Yeah, I would. – Get ’em on! Get ’em on! Get ’em on! – This is what women chant at me in bed. – Josh, maybe round here somewhere would be nice? – Like here?
– That’s going to be a good spot
– Yeah, I mean obviously I’ll take my shoes off. – You see, look. He doesn’t seem okay with the mapping of them.
– It’s not like you get familiar with pants and it becomes a second nature! – He’s not at ease with those pants.
– This is genuinely one of the lowest moments of my life, by the way. Just so you know. – If I had a penny for every time someone said that on this show… LAUGHTER – So… oh my God… – I suppose all you can do now is pray that it’s edited sympathetically. Which, in all honesty, is unlikely. – Josh, my love, that waistband is a good two inches too big for you.
– Well if you feel the elastic, Mel… – Come on.
– Mel, you don’t have to touch anything you don’t want to. – If you feel the elastic, then it’s kind of gone a bit.
– Right, I’m going to do something slightly sinister. – I’ve been dreaming of this since Late Lunch, I’m not going to lie to you. LAUGHTER – Come closer, love. Come closer. Yeah, there’s a whole finger. That’s –
– That’s not a finger… – Alright, Josh. Take your shoes and please go back to your seat. – Josh: I feel like I’ve been thrown out of a pub. Take your shoes and go. LAUGHTER – David. It’s time to gather your thoughts and ask yourself whether or not Josh is telling the truth. – I think Mel is… you’re strongly of the opinion that those are not Josh’s pants. – He did not seem at ease when he was touching…
– He was intimidated by the pants. – He was intimidated! He was. – I agree with you that there is a stylistic clash between Josh and those pants.
– I’m not buying it. There’s no anecdote. There’s no, “Oh, I kept these when so and so broke up with me…” – If you’re gonna keep a pair of pants that long, you’ve gotta be through so good times and, by the looks of it, some bad times. – So, what are you thinking, then? – Well I think we think it’s a lie. – All of you. All agreed. OK. Josh Widdicombe: the pants… – Can I just say, either way I am gonna give them to Mel so she can dust with them from now on.
Thank you. – Well, that’s lovely, that’s heart-warming. Is it the truth? – Or were you telling a lie? – I am ashamed to say… …it’s the truth. – Go on! – Yes, it’s true. They were indeed Josh’s favourite boxer shorts which he still wears.